Tools for a better Relationship: Communication (Part 2)

[akanetuk]

"Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble". Yehuda Berg

Words are best absorbed when people are calm, one of the best ways to communicate is to sit your partner down and talk to him/her in an understanding way. Mild disagreements are all part of the process of understanding each other, but constant quarrels and suppressions are signals that something is wrong. During mild disagreement the couple should take steps to adjust and make up. Constant communication in marriage allows the relationship to take shape and have a direction.

During disagreement, listen to your partner’s side of dispute, reexamine your position and entertain the likelihood that you could be wrong, accept constructive guidance and advice from your partner. True listening involves suspending your own thoughts, feelings, and agenda, and allowing the other party to be heard. It also involves accurate analysis and judgment of the issue. During marriage discussion, do not focus on the person but on the issue. Do not attack your spouse, but rather focus on the problem and solution objectively. Don’t begin a discussion by assuming your partner is wrong, but instead ask questions to discover the reason behind his/her action. Don’t jump to conclusions, but honestly examine evidences and seek to learn the facts. Don’t make accusations without proof. If your partner lacks the perception to be what you want him to be, try and use communication skills to point out your wishes. Remember if you like it, say it, if it hurts, say it, if you don’t like it say it. Some couple make the mistake of assuming that their partner should read what is going on in their mind without voicing it. Well this does not work in all cases, but with few sensitive individuals who can read body languages.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Yes I agree always remain calm in any discussion - If you feel yourself losing your cool, walk away and compose yourself. Clear head, clear logic if you stay you will say something you regret and perhaps do irreparable damage to a fragile situation.