Why I Don't Regret My HeartBreak.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

A question I answered was "Whats the best thing to ever happen to you?" Asked by @GinaEdwards

And well my opinion...it resonated within my heart so profoundly I felt the need to share it. It's 1 am here, I have coffee and I'm listening to my favorite love song ever "Fur Elise". Here was my opinion and some extra thoughts. In other words; here is a piece of my heart for everyone to grasp onto.

The best thing to ever happen to me? Besides the cliché "I got my siblings" or "met my best friend" or "got my ____ pet" for me... it'd have been falling in love with my ex.

Yea in the end he really hurt me, he fucking crushed my heart.
But that's the sad ending to my story.

The best thing to happen to me was getting the experience not many people get to have. I met him and we became best friends. We became close, quickly. I helped him with his girlfriend cheating on him, he helped me through my fathers abuse.

He was the one person I could rely on (besides my mother) but both of them lived hours away. Eventually, I fell in love with him. He became every thought I had, every waking moment I had, I spent talking to him. We'd stay up so many times late at night on Skype, and I'd fall asleep on the call with him even though I knew I'd get in trouble by my father.

He and I would just talk and talk. About everything. About nothing. About ourselves, our thoughts, our plans. The future we wanted. Even a future with each other. I knew it was silly of me but hey, a girl can dream right?

He was an amazing boyfriend even though we were long distance. We had plans to meet in the summer cause he was only an hour away. Before things went downhill, I knew I couldn't live without this boy. I knew I fell in love with him, my first TRUE love, not some silly teenage infatuation, not something that was lust mistaken as love. He didn't want nudes, or to talk dirty. He wanted me. He wanted to know who I was, inside.

Well after we broke up, for the official and last time, I was heartbroken. He was the only boy I cried over-yea I cried when I got dumped by my 2 exes in real life- but that's because they left me to be lonely. I cried over him because I didn't want to be without him.

It took me 7 months to get over him, and it still hurts to talk about him. But honestly, I don't mind. I don't mind I cried over him so many times, I don't mind that he hurt me. I'm not gonna say "I wish he knew my pain." Because I love him too much to want him to experience this kind of pain.

I don't regret the time I spent over him.
The best thing to happen to me was experiencing this love I had for him. Getting to know him, knowing the real him. Knowing he loved me truly. Honestly, I don't regret any of it. If I had the choice, I'd fall in love with him again and again, even if the ending to my story never changed.

To you older people, I know I seem to be a young, naïve idiot teenage girl. I probably am. But that's never gonna change my views on this topic. When I'm married and successful in life, I'll still look back at this experience and go "Wow. I loved him, and my heart got broken. But I'm glad I had the experience because if I didn't...who knows who I'd be today?"

So tell me members of GAG, how do you feel about your last heartbreak?

Are you in pain still? After days, weeks, months...years?

Are you angry at them?

Are you angry at yourself?

Do my words ring true within your soul at all?

[redeyemindtricks]

Yeah, no, you shouldn't regret heartbreak. The only thing worth regretting is leaving opportunities on the shelf.

__

A couple of things about this.

First --
Even if things seem absolutely awful right now -- just so awful that you don't know how you'll make it through -- they WILL get better with time. Really. This is almost incomprehensible right now, but, yep.
If something is bitter right now...
... then, in a few months, or a couple years, it will be bittersweet...
and then, after a few more years, the "bitter" will be gone, and the memories that are left will just be... sweet.
So, IN THE LONG TERM, there's almost no emotional risk. In the short term, of course, things can be devastating -- but that's how you grow as a person.

Check out the mho opinion thread here. It's kind of rambling, but it goes places that are pretty awesome.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1963400-do-you-enjoy-relationship-drama

__

Second --
Heartbreak is an intense emotion.
Intense emotions are ALIVE.
Alive is not dead.

Everyone's experience of depression is different, but, in my experience, the worst points were the times when my life felt just totally *devoid* of emotion. THOSE were the times when it all seemed "not worth it" anymore, and when I started wondering whether there was really a good reason to go on living.

Ironically, going through super-intense NEGATIVE emotions -- like anger and heartbreak -- was just as likely to snap me out of those phases as going through super-intense POSITIVE emotions was.
Because, either way, it was like, "Hey, I'm ALIVE again."

That might sound stupid -- heartbreak, as something that could pull me OUT of a severe depressive episode -- but, I swear, that's how it worked.
Heartbreak meant that I was alive. Alive ≠ dead.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Yeah I saw the question - I think it was intense because of the places you and he were in at the time.
So your questions
(1) How do I feel about my last heartbreak - Numb, five years later I say to myself, I am past it ready to get back out there, join a dating site or something, start to interact only to realise "No, still not ready".
(2) Are you in pain still, how long did it take to get over? :- Answer, strong emotions 2 years, physically 3 years, mentally 4 years, financially 5 years plus lasting emotions 5.5 years and counting.
(3) Angry at them Superficially yes, deep down no , there were underlying issues. Angry at myself, a bit for getting caught in a hopeless situation, staying too long, for fucking myself up mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.
(4) Everyone's heartbreak is different but your words ring true a bit for me.

[justagirl5]

Aww I'm sorry:( You're right though, it's good to have memories you can remember and you shouldn't regret them.

My story is interesting... I met him through my roommate. At first we were really shy around each other but we quickly became friends once we realized we both from the same home area. We had a lot in common. I didn't like him in a romantic way at first. But one day we were driving down the road with the windows down, talking and laughing, and I suddenly realized I liked him as more than a friend.

He flirted with me and I flirted with him. We teased, he copied stuff I said, we smiled at each other... I wondered why the hell he wasn't asking me out already. I figured it was just because he was shy. Either way I started falling in love with him. And the flirting continued so I assumed he returned my feelings. I lived for his hugs and days we didn't talk felt useless. I can't even fully describe love... all I know is I loved him. Even when he showed me his flaws, I loved him more.

Then he started acting strange. He isolated himself, rarely talked to me (or anyone), and always posted romantic stuff about gays on Facebook. Soon I found out he had started an ldr with a guy he met online. At first I was sad, then mad he hadn't told me sooner, then mad at myself for falling in love with a gay guy. Soon I realized that it wasn't his fault. He'd probably been confused and unsure. I slowly came to terms with the fact that we'd never be a couple.

Then he decided to move to be with his boyfriend. I cried for days until he left, then on the day he left, me and him both got kinda emotional. He hugged me tight and held me for a long time. I never wanted to let him go. Before he walked out the door, we hugged again. Crying, I told him I'd miss him. He promised it wasn't the last time we would see each other. I was heartbroken when he left. I was up all night crying.

He's living his life now and he's happy. I don't know if he'll keep his promise or not. I trust him but you know, things change. I hope we'll be friends for life. It still hurts that he's gone. It hurts that he only loves me like a sister. But at least he's still in my life. I don't know when I'll date. Not for a while, that's for sure. I need time to heal.

And even if he forgets me I won't forget him. I love you, best friend ❤️

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Awwww I'm sorry and that's really cute. I hope he keeps his promise to you. :)

[justagirl5]

Me too 😊 I miss him like hell but I believe we'll find each other again eventually.

[ThisDudeHere]

Thankfully I don't have snf have never had any such heartbreaks.
Although in comparrisson to what you wrote, I could say that I'm actually unlucky since I don't have the experience. But oh well there's a time for everything.

[Psi_Unknown]

I guess that is a nice, happy way to view heartbreak. Everyone has been there at some point. The sadness can surface sometimes. There is and will always be pain. In the right state of mind you really can't be angry.

[takumii]

Good take ! Hope it doesn't hurt much.

It will hurt horribly in the beginning. He will be the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning. But one day will come when he will be the second thing..

[GinaEdwards]

in the end just learned from my last heart break wich me a little wiser and stronger

[Londonscotland]

I never had a boyfriend before but I just find out my crush is married.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Are you okay?

[Londonscotland]

Lol I'm fine. why?

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

just making sure

[Londonscotland]

Thanks that made me feel better