We had been though the teasing, my injuries, and my parents. But we'll get back to that....
Four years ago, I liked this guy who sat across my me in 2 of my classes. After a while of talking to him, I began to like him. He was caring, funny, insightful and hardworking. Let's call him Johnny.
After one long semester of crushing, people found out about my feelings. Eventually two girls went up to Johnny teasingly telling him that someone like him. Since I had been the only girl who seemed nervous and talkative around him, he asked them if it was me. Shocked, they ran off and he got his wordless answer.
Fast forward one month later. On Valentine’s day, he wrote me a letter, a letter that contained his feelings for me. After embracing him with the letter in hand, I ran off to the bathroom to read it before my next class. I cried that day in the bathroom because I never thought that that would happen. I never got the guy. We took the entire day to get to know each other more and let's just say a lot of 'shipping' was done.
While we spent time together, things happened. When I got injured, he stayed by my side and made sure that I was doing okay, feeling okay, and was stable. As we both journeyed through life, we shared our thoughts and feeling as a sort of therapy. He was my emotional anchor and I also listened to his problems. I loved that he listened and we both liked taking time out for one another to be there as a support system. While we were never physically close (we held hands once that’s it), we were emotionally bonded. That bond made the heartbreak so much worse.
As time continued, he would tease me about the little things and I would get him to smile with that twinkle in his eye. His friends loved us together and told him that. On my birthday, he surprised me at my house with a beautiful necklace and a hug. Transitioning into the fall, he started up football and during the games would give me his jersey to cheer him on. After he played, he would sit next to me in the crisp fall air and be a shoulder I could lean on.
Jumping to the second semester, on our one year anniversary, he gave me a scrapbook which I literally cried over with a bunch of pictures and quotes. Since we didn't get to see each other that much during that week, he asked me over to his house.
A few days after our one year, I came over to his house to watch High School Musical with him. It was his favorite movie sequence and wanted to share it with me. As we watched Gabriella and Troy sing to each other, he grabbed my hand as if to say "I'm here."
However, when my mom picked me up to go home, he seemed weirdly shy and quiet, looking at his feet after he held my hand. This was the first sign of trouble since he was usually chatty around my family and didn't mind saying 'hi' and participating in the conversation.
The night before the heartbreak, I stayed up crafting a note for him to put in his locker— something we would do sometimes. I risked sleep for him because I loved him and wanted to put more effort in the note. We hadn't been able to hang out a lot and I noticed he had been feeling down and I wanted to make him happy. I got a lot less sleep that night and I usually did on a school night.
As I went to school that Friday morning, I was excited to see him walk over to me. I cheerfully asked how he was doing and he said he wanted to talk about something. As we walked to my home group he said, “I need to get right to the chase. I don’t like you anymore.” In those two sentences my heart shattered. I felt as though something was taken from me— love. Shocked and speechless I said, “Okay. Yeah” or something like that.
Upon hearing those two words, he released his breath a forced a laugh with, “Oh wow you are taking this better than I thought!” but he didn't know I that I really wasn't. I was crying so deeply on the inside. To clarify his actions he said, “I just need to be single for a while. Don't worry, it was nothing you did." But we all know THAT'S a lie.
Immediately I turned to the other way, unable to face him. Stunned and heart broken, I quickly walked to the front of my first period where no one would see my face and silently cried. As it was a morning, my day and weekend were ruined and I felt empty inside. I wanted to go home.
[this part in the story was just a bunch of crying, denial, anger, sadness, and emotions]
My friends later asked him why he did so and he said that I did nothing at all. But this is were it gets interesting.... This past month my sister has had a guy who is crushing on her and goes to the same church as Johnny. He one day told me sister, "I don't know that your sister dated Johnny. He told me he broke up with her because she was immature." Stunned knowing I'm fairly mature for my age, she told me this. In the end everyone I told laughed because they knew that was kinda weird since I was more responsible than him.... oh well.....
Anyways, I’m over him and we don’t talk anymore. Since we are not on 'speaking terms,' at least unofficially, it's kinda hard to ask him about his family because even though we're done, I love them so much! Whenever I see them, they love to say 'hi' back! Also I think I still have that note I was supposed to give to him or I threw it out because I didn't need it anymore. The end and thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoyed this story about ripping out my heart and why I don't trust people easily.
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