Battling the Hate and Redefining "The Player"

[ice_cat]

For those of you that read my last take, you will notice that it rather unsurprisingly attracted quite a bit of negative attention. If you haven't read it, you can check it out here:

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/relationships/a29393-the-birth-of-the-player-it-ain-t-pretty

In particular, read the comments section. Some of the comments were actually pretty good, but most of them were personal attacks of some kind.

The eloquence of many of these comments truly is astounding.

Now, I have noticed somewhat of a recurring pattern on GaG and I would like to remind everyone that personal attacks do not form a legitimate argument. I may or may not be the most pathetic guy on GaG, however, the fact that you have said that doesn't contribute anything to the conversation.

In fact the same people that are going on about calling me bitter and a hater are the same people that go on to rage about the take. I will very soon address some of the issues that were present in the take, which I admit there were a few. In particular it didn't really communicate my point in the way I had envisioned and for some reason people got the impression that I had decided to become a manipulator and liar. That is not what I meant.

The real issue is that of shifting societal goals which are putting stress on relationships. Another issue that I touched on slightly was my feeling that male emotions often go suppressed leading to a form of frustrated insanity that few seem to really understand. This is exacerbated further by the aforementioned societal shifts. In other words, relationships/career success (which for men are very much hand in hand) impose a very challenging rock and hard place for young men. The end result is that relationships (and the pain that comes with them and finding them) really aren't worth it and concentrating on purely physical goals is a useful or almost necessary means of staying sane and actually achieving relationship and career success.

The end result, is the "player." The guy that doesn't want a relationship. In my mind the player is not necessarily the guy that deceives and manipulates women. Some may definitely do that, whereas others really aren't interested in relationships which causes women to perceive their behavior as manipulative if they don't mean it in that way.

All of this will be elaborated upon in the next entry. But seriously, if you're going to comment, think of something more useful to say than "Ohhh ... you're just pathetic... and butthurt... and bbbitter ... and you're going to commit a massacre someday (?) " Not cool bros.

Talk to you soon.

[uhhihello]

I read the take and you made sense, mostly, some of the things you said were a little bit extreme but honestly I think it's understandable, i know guys like this, usually they are "players" because a girl hurt them, and I know how you kept saying "any girl that doesn't want me is a bitch" which is a little hurtful and def extreme because some girls don't mean to reject you, you just aren't their type. I know you probably didn't mean they actually were salty ass bitches but I feel like that's what upset them. P. S. Followed you!

[uhhihello]

also sorry for all of the hate your getting, nobody can have an opinion in 2016 apparently.

[ice_cat]

Thanks for the comment and thanks for reading. And also thanks for the follow! I don't mind people disagreeing with my opinions and providing some kind of useful input, I just don't understand the personal insults that don't really contribute to the conversation. It's a little frustrating but I suppose that's the nature of the Internet...

And as you pointed out, yes I don't actually think that the girls in question are necessarily bad people. But the thing is, no one can forgive the actions of everyone. I'm sure "good" people have done bad things to me in the past. My opinion of them was dictated by their actions and it's emotionally exhausting to be understanding towards every person. So sometimes it's easier just to cut them out completely and not bother yourself with it.

[uhhihello]

yeah I totally understand, but I think one thing you did was wrong, when you texted the girl she was a bitch or whatever, just because that's kind of harsh, however cutting the person off makes total sense.

[ice_cat]

Well to be fair I would never text HER and call her a bitch (I didn't do that, so we're clear). I texted my FRIENDS and instead of talking with them to understand the situation, I basically just said "whatever, I don't want her anyway" instead of actually analyzing the rejection.

[uhhihello]

ohhh okay yeah, that sounds much better haha thank you for making it clear! I think people might have took the take the wrong way and that's not your fault at all, so just ignore them, don't let them bring you down with their feminist bullshit.

[AleDeEurope]

Don't expect much from most girls on here. Bitterness tends to make people blind, so comprehending while blind is pretty complicated.

Just look at the downvotes this opinion will get, and the hate this Take will get, to see how many bitterness there's in this site.

[TakeMaker]

I agree, I don't think you were very clear about your intentions when you wrote the last take. It sounded angry and bitter and after addressing a few points... inaccurate.

I will however repeat what I said there: female kind doesn't really care that you've decided not to date them.

This seems like so much fuss just to say "I'm not going to have a girlfriend".

[ice_cat]

Well if female kind doesn't really care, I don't know why so many commented. They don't show it well... I don't know why that matters anyway, it's not as if I wrote the thing because I thought that all female kind is gonna weep because I wouldn't date them long term. Either way, it doesn't matter what I write, someone is going to have something negative to say about SOMETHING. If they don't criticize the text, they criticize the text as being unnecessary. So, honestly, whatever.

[TakeMaker]

Welcome to the internets...

[Rissyanne]

Those gals were bitter and angry. I thought I wrote something very nice and I got down voted. Probably because I didn't roll with their way of thinking.

[Napoli]

I have a thing for players. You know where you stand with them and you have fun.
They aren't bad guys.

[John_Doesnt]

A player is just a smart dude who figured out monogamy doesn't pay off.

[joseyyywhales]

TL;DR

[ice_cat]

If you didn't read it, there's hardly any point in commenting, is there?