Ghosting: Psychological Abandonment- The Hurt that Lack of Courage Causes

miamigirl1970

Do people not realize that Casper was really not a friendly ghost? He was disrespectful and self-centered.............so is Ghosting someone that you have dated or cared about. Whether you have went on one date, or been with someone for a long time, or are simply friends, it truly doesn't matter. This type of behavior is simply not necessary. To disappear and not speak about it is emotionally cruel to the other person.

Are people so afraid to have those in depth conversations that might "sting" for a minute or cause tears, that they want to leave someone scarred or hurt, and left wondering forever what happened? Have we as a society forgotten the Golden Rule?

Ghosting: Psychological Abandonment- The Hurt that Lack of Courage Causes

The Site Plenty of Fish states that 80% of those between 18-33 that are Single have practiced Ghosting Someone............ With Social Media and Technology so prevalent, have we become a Culture of Cutting Off??????? It takes decency and feeling to understand that all that most people really want is to have that final conversation. It really is not about the What you say to someone, but it is about the HOW you say it!!!! And when you Ghost someone, How you are saying it leaves questions, hurt, and the recipient wondering what they did so wrong? When you ghost someone you insult them and do not give the closure that they really deserve and need most of the time.

Before you decide to go Ghost someone, please understand that it takes just a short time, and some respect to talk to the person. You might have emotions that you are not ready to have, and they might display emotions on top of it all, but to walk away with self-respect and dignity is so much better than to just walk away.

If you are the one that has been the recipient of ghosting, just remember this: There is nothing wrong with you. The person treating you in this manner is the one with the issues. Either they simply don't understand how their actions have affected or hurt you, or they simply don't care. Regardless it makes them the lesser person- NOT YOU!

Ghosting: Psychological Abandonment- The Hurt that Lack of Courage Causes
Ghosting: Psychological Abandonment- The Hurt that Lack of Courage Causes
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Most Helpful Girl

  • ElissaDido
    Yeah Ghosting sucks. I think that when someone cares about you or at least respect you, the least through can do is an explanation and be brave enough to face you, not take the "easy way out " by leaving you hanging...
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Hayleyaaa

      Doesn't even have to be face to face a text is better than nothing at all!

Most Helpful Guy

  • lazermazer
    NIce take, i hate ghosting but sometimes it is misunderstood when someone looses or just don't have anything to talk especially when online.
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • coolbreeze
    It's easier to run away and disappear without saying anything. People don't like to facs the confrontation of talking to somebody face to face. Or to end things properly.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Hayleyaaa
    Ghosting is 100% the cowards way out. I do think it's situational. If you haven't met yet but have been talking online for a while yeah it's sucks but there wasn't much there in the first place. Even after one date again it's an immature thing to do but there wasn't much there again. However if you have been dating for months or years and suddenly you've been ghosted that is wrong and completely confusing!
  • castratedwhiteguy
    Before the internet, it was called not returning phone calls. Personally, I would rather be ghosted than have to go through the emotional roller coaster of listening to that person give me a list of irrational reasons why I'm not worthy. If a person doesn't want to be a part of my life than I really don't care why she or he made that decision.
  • lightbulb27
    well said, I agree. Its basic ettiquete... something not taught today and multiplied worse given the "abundance" of distractions we have.

    Like 1 Person
  • Streamhopper
    Interesting how all older people are replying on this. I'd be interested to see what a millennial has to say.
  • FatherJack
    A person of REAL character does NOT ghost , this is really cowardice & not fair on the other party.
    Like 2 People
  • Saoirse_Nua
    Great take - Yeah it only take one conversation to say goodbye and it is the decent thing to do
    Like 1 Person
  • Fathoms77
    Nothing more cowardly on earth.
    Like 4 People
    • @Fathomss77-thank you, I think so too! As a recipient of this behavior, it is a terrible feeling? You endlessly worry that "it is you" but eventually have to come to the realization that you have to let go and move on, that the "ghost" is lacking in emotional etiquette

    • Fathoms77

      I think it's too nice to call it a lack of etiquette. These people just never grew up and have the social graces of a rodent. :P

    • Very well put...

  • Adigelunar
    good topic,
  • Anonymous
    Actually what you call "ghosting" in studies of human communication is relatively normal. Humans have always done it and it really isn't that bad. Moreover many don't even realize it; you have friendships and bonds that just "fade away" and that's the same thing. Generally one person remembers or pursues more than the other whether it be an immediate or slow degrade into the abyss of separation.

    There is nothing "cowardly" about normal & expected behavior.
    Disagree 2 People
    • First, I don't believe I used the term coward any place... Yes I believe that there are relationships that seem to fade away and we may not realize it, however let me give you an example: You have a relationship with someone that has lasted many years, they abruptly leave your life... are you telling me that you wouldn't wonder if you had done something to cause it? There is nothing fading in the process I am speaking about. Some people are geared to be able to let go quickly, others might want to talk about it. All I am saying is that in relationships where you have time invested, it would be decent for a person to at least have courage to talk about the issues. Simply ignoring a problem usually makes it fester...

    • Anonymous

      I've had it happen. I've not been stuck on whether it was my fault. By the way "fading" can exist on one side which means that the other side may be completely unaware of it. Very rarely is it "truly abrupt" but instead only one party feels the need to continue. Which is the case with all manners of separation regardless of whether both individuals agree or not on the matter.

      And the notion that there is a solvable problem is even more... anyway, it's just how humans work without going into a long and drawn out explanation of the dynamics of communication and reasons why people fail to recognize issues, where people fail to listen and then are "shocked", and many other cases in which you aren't really addressing.

      It's far more complex than "We were cool and then we weren't and you left."

    • I understand what you are saying. I really do. I think it is complex like you say. A lot of situations are different. But I guess because my circumstance was he was there for 5 years... all of a sudden gone, the back again after 6 months, then gone again... This time really gone. I was looking for just a conversation... that is all. Not reconciliation. I can honestly say that I don't want anything, I am not sorry it is over, but I am sorry for how it ended, and I would like to have peace. This is a person I have known most all my life, and I just want to close it on a better note... I realize that we as individuals only really get closure from ourselves, but this relationship was one of the most dynamic ever in my life, and I just wanted to be able to discuss, instead of having been left at an intersection in a busy city, where I truthfully didn't know it would be the last time I ever saw or talked to him... oh well, life is complicated

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