It is really tough at times to understand if we are actually with the right person or not ...
Sometimes, we tend to ignore so many red flags, because we BELIEVE that we love that person, and hope for change.
But as soon as you find yourself hoping for a change, that is already a sign that your partner does not invest as much as you want to, and therefore is not the right one for you.-
What are the signs of a serious and stable relationship though?
I will base the following on my personal experiences, i only had 2 boyfriends, my ex (THE JERK) and my current boyfriend (THE KIND) ...
According to me, i learned a lot from the JERK, because he taught me to appreciate THE KIND, and opened my eyes to do so and to actually see all the red flags on all dates i have been after me and him broke up, i had so many Red Flags, me but i never seen them because yea, I WAS HOPING THAT HE WILL CHANGE, but he never did, but those red flags brought me to my current boyfriend, the opposite.
1. Clearing up any suspicion
Many people that have been cheated have trust issues, and they carry that even with future partners, and it is understandable.
so if you feel like your partner is smiling at his phone more often, or you are just over analyzing a situation, (yes this usually happens to us women) and you demand explanations and security, and your partner DOES give you all the detailed information, (usually they text their weird cousin that lives across the country) and your partner shows you facts and actually FIGHTS for you so you will believe him, then this is a sign that (you are such an insecure stupid little .....) and that your partner cares enough to show you that you are the only one.
Sometimes these misunderstandings happen usually at the beginning of a relationship.
RED FLAG:
If your partner refuses to tell you, and actually gets mad at you, or just walks away and calls you stupid, and does not even show you with who your partner was talking to or messaging to, this is considered a red flag (Been there done that)
2. Your partner introduced you to the parents
If your partner introduced you to the parents, then this might the definite sign that he really does care about you and that the relationship is stable enough, since it is a very delicate passage, not everyone wants to go through this, because sometimes they might be embarrassing, or parents would not accept, and might just twist the relationship up, all of us think about this before introducing our partners to our parents.
But if your partner does introduce you to the parents, it means that you where worth the risk and trouble.
RED FLAG:
If your partner refuses you to ever meet his parents or YOUR parents, it might be a sign that this relationship won't last long, and that your partner is only using you for sexual needs. Some might say "ok but it does not mean anything i am not close my family anyways" > well in that case, consider it still a red FLAG ... Sorry it's the truth, been there done that as well -_- (the JERK ugh)
3. Your partner is not ashamed to show you in public
Your partner invites you for a dinner in a Restaurant or for a drink in a Bar where all his friends hang out, and at the same time holds your hand, gives you kisses, touches you, and everybody can see that you are a couple ... well this was one of the signs i noticed that my man loves me ...
RED FLAG:
If he does not even introduce you to his friends let alone hold your hand in public, it does mean that he is not serious about you and does not want anyone to know that you are together, because your partner might be scared to loose chances with other singles. > THIS IS A FACT been there, done that plus once "THE JERK" introduced me as his friend (that hurt trust me) that's just ....
4. Your partner includes you in decisions
Couples should decide on everything from mundane chores to high-stakes questions of where (and how) to invest their income together. And not only about income, but they should care enough to ask you if you are ALRIGHT with the decision your partner is about to make. Or let's say, your partners friends organized a trip for the weekend, your partner want's to decide together with you whether your partner should go or not and why.
RED FLAG:
When your partner just takes decisions on it's own without even bothering to ask, when your partner wants YOU to do everything in the house, and when your partner just GOES to trips without even talking to you but JUST GOES OUT - like BYE see ya Monday. (Been there done that -_-)
5. Your Partner is willing to go to bat for you and your relationship.
So, it could be your mother in law or your mother, a friend or a neighbor if somebody makes fun of you or criticizes you, your partner should defend you at any cost, so nobody will ever say a word again. It only means that your partner does not want anyone to hurt your feelings.
We certainly know from great literature that people who truly care about each other will risk their own well-being for the others welfare. This is a clear sign that your partner is very much into you.
RED FLAG:
If he does not defend you at all, or even worse, makes FUN OF YOU together with those people, this is definitely a deal breaker. Guess what... i been there too.
6. Makes you feel good about yourself
A partner who truly cares about you boosts your self-esteem and sense of identity. If nothing else, being with someone who makes you feel valued provides you with strong positive reinforcement.
Somebody who appreciates YOU and makes you LOVE YOURSELF.
RED FLAG:
When you don't feel that pretty or good looking, or just a little bit chubby after christmass, you go tell your partner in hope to boos your self-esteem up in order to make you change, BUT your partner just doesn't care and says that he has better things to do, and even tells you that it's YOUR PROBLEM...
NO... just NO..
There's no set number of these 6 that would indicate whether a specific partner hits above or below the threshold for truly loving you.-
However, with these signs as a guide, you can gain insight into your relationship's strengths and weaknesses and from there, address the areas of weakness.
Honestly, a partner does not have to be emotionally expressive in order to show you, that the relationship IS SERIOUS, because actions like the ones above speak louder than sweet words.
It always takes TWO to make a relationship work.
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