I promise this won't be long.
As many of you who have been following my situation and my outbursts for some time now, at end of July I broke up with the girl I was supposed to propose to.
It was just the necessary euthanization of a terminal relationship, not the killing of a living and vibrant one. I'm not proud about that, because it was a complete failure on my part.
I should have been stronger and able to withstand more, after all the good man has two hearts - one bleeds and the other loves.
I didn't lose only my ex girlfriend, but my sister too - she has declared she will never forgive me for this and I'm a dead to her.
But this isn't the point of this myTake.
Shortly after breaking up and moving out, I went around with various kinds of people and friends, trying to collect my thoughts and decide what to do next (and also doing some stupid things). In those days, an old friend popped back up in my life. I've known her for years, back in High School she was my tutoring student (she was two years above me) she gave me repetitions and was my senior and presentator for school projects.
Our friendship had been a little strained because of my relationship with my ex, a relationship my friend never approved of and had correctly predicted would end up badly.
There was a bit of awkwardness when we started hanging out again and we even had some discussions at firts. I'm not trying to justify myself in any way, I was too focused on being hurt and was an ass to her on some occasions - some of the G@gers here remember how awful to deal with I was in that period.
However, the more we kept frequenting each other, the more she made me understand she wanted to make a step forward and try it out. I admit I had something for her since High School but never put a serious thought into it. On the other hand, I noticed there was something in the way we clicked together that there wasn't before.
So at first a bit reluctantly, then with more confidence, I entered in a relationship with her.
Some G@gers and people in my life accused me of moving too on fast, and I honestly think they are right.
I should have taken more time for myself and let my wounds heal a bit before jumping right in with someone else. Even if she's being delicate and very understanding, it's not her job to heal those wounds. That's something I have to do on my own.
On the other hand, I have to recon she's really improving my life. She's really changing it for the better and making me more hopeful for the future, she makes me notice how there's always something fun and exciting, and cheers me up and encourages me a lot.
Sure, she's a bit particular in her hobbies, interests and work choices, but she's "infecting" me with a love for life that I wasn't feeling for a while now.
She's also sharing with me her healthier lifestyle with a more balanced diet, much less alcohol, trying to quit smoking and exercise.
So I understand I did a lot of mistakes and screws up, and maybe I don't even deserve all the good things I'm receiving right now, but I really want to try and make the best of it.
Thanks for reading,