Relationships: Let's Be Honest

In D'banj's words, "Don't get it twisted; love is a beautiful thing." I agree, really it is but we are not honest with ourselves about what we really feel.

In the ideal sense, love is meant to be unconditional but how much of the love that we profess to our partners is really unconditional (I'm also asking married couples)?

Relationships: Let's Be Honest

What's unconditional love in the first place? It is love that expects nothing in return. It is sacrificial and based on no reward. When asked why we love someone, we usually say, 'I don't know... I just love him. He's everything I have always wanted." The first part of the statement is not really true because the second part gives us away-he's everything you have always wanted. This means that he is like a package of the traits you want in a man. Supposing he was missing those traits, would you love him? Certainly not. Does the love you proclaim seem so unconditional now?

The reason we fall for some people and don't fall for others is because they appeal to us the most. Ideally, love should not be based on personal traits but it usually is. What we call love is merely a compatibility contract, most of the time.

This understanding now puts your feelings in perspective. Thank goodness, though, that love is something that you can work on till it is regardless of how well that special person fits into your preferences. When it stops being about that, you will learn to focus on yourself to be a better partner. If both of you were more focused on yourselves rather than how well someone fits into your checklist then love will become unconditional.

Relationships: Let's Be Honest
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    I don't know man my girl is a little thick and tbh it isn't something i'd normally go after. She's got a shit ton of freckles (which I like but i guess is unattractive by society). But I love her and she's my best friend. An oh yea I'm short but she still loves me so yea we've all got our problems but the ones we are most attracted to and love forever are the ones we can call friends and have that personality click. I've just never seen "good looking" couples workout and you even see this amongst famous people. For instance this one girl I was talking to had the biggest knockers but her face was soso. In all honesty once I got to know her I was like damn we should spend time together and I was even more attracted to her once i got to know her.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Jmcmanning
    Loving a person is to love them for who they are, not the traits they may or may not possess. When you truly love someone, you accept them, don't try to change them, and be supportive of them to help them become a better person. You become their rock, cheerleader, and go-to-person. If that person loves you back, you should get this in return. You can give your love to someone and not get it back, this is why some relationships don't work. It's not because you don't love unconditionally, it's because both partners do not share the same kind of love towards one another.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Good_Behavior
    Your conclusion deviates from reality. The more a person "works on themselves" typically the less likely they are to succeed in this loving others thing. Generally this is because unconditional love isn't "subconsciously conditional", or put another way, you can and generally will love people for absolutely no rational reason.

    When you look for methods to invalidate your emotions your guaranteed to find them.
  • GinaTina
    i think that things are conditional until marriage, when we are bound to each other, unless he/she cheats lol but im not really sure how else to elaborate on that
  • CubsterShura
    Well, love isn't completely unconditional. I wouldn't love a guy if he cheats on me!
  • luluv00vi
    exactly! some people are attracted by looks when it the personality u should be looking for!
  • Hungry_Shark