In D'banj's words, "Don't get it twisted; love is a beautiful thing." I agree, really it is but we are not honest with ourselves about what we really feel.
In the ideal sense, love is meant to be unconditional but how much of the love that we profess to our partners is really unconditional (I'm also asking married couples)?
What's unconditional love in the first place? It is love that expects nothing in return. It is sacrificial and based on no reward. When asked why we love someone, we usually say, 'I don't know... I just love him. He's everything I have always wanted." The first part of the statement is not really true because the second part gives us away-he's everything you have always wanted. This means that he is like a package of the traits you want in a man. Supposing he was missing those traits, would you love him? Certainly not. Does the love you proclaim seem so unconditional now?
The reason we fall for some people and don't fall for others is because they appeal to us the most. Ideally, love should not be based on personal traits but it usually is. What we call love is merely a compatibility contract, most of the time.
This understanding now puts your feelings in perspective. Thank goodness, though, that love is something that you can work on till it is regardless of how well that special person fits into your preferences. When it stops being about that, you will learn to focus on yourself to be a better partner. If both of you were more focused on yourselves rather than how well someone fits into your checklist then love will become unconditional.
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