The Friend-Zone: What it is & Why it Doesn't Matter


A space that you create in your mind when you lack the proper social acumen to understand that what you want, is not always yours to have. It's a tragic form of self victimization, a less romanticized version of unrequited love.

Does it exist.....

Well, no. What the reality is, is there is a point where a relationship hits a fork in the road for an individual. Maybe one person starts to develop certain feelings for a person, sometimes the feelings are mutual. Other times they aren't. Either way you have some options.

The Fork in the Road

Just stay with me for a while. Imagine a fork in the road, and you and a friend stop at it, both weighing your options. Than out of nowhere that person makes a decision and starts walking, but that's not the way you wanna go. You'd much rather see what that other road might show you, and your really sure that it could possibly lead to something made of unbridled intrepid beauty. However, this other person is not convinced, they want you to venture down another road with them, as they like the journey that they are on, wanting to stay the course.

The Decision

This is a quite a mess your in now, here's this person with whom you already share a bond with, and now there's this possibility that you could potentially change the nature of said bond, forever. You've been given this impossible ultimatum, keep the path, or start your own. Neither is a bad thing, but only if it's a pure decision will you be made better.

The Friend-zone Teaches Us What?

It teaches us nothing, but it provides a space for self improvement. It tests the limits of your hearts maturity. That road you want to take, is really just letting you know that your life has more options now, that your ready for something more, and that maybe you should explore that. However if you decide to go with your friend, you will be tested everyday, and it will hurt.

The Older You Get...

It matters less, because school, work, or both will usurp most of your time. As your priorities set, and you know what you want, you know which road to take from the go. You don't hope, you just make your intentions known early, and if it's not a match, it's not a match. So you keep looking honestly, until you find him/her.

Final MyTake

If this is a problem you are facing, it's fine, no one is in the wrong here, sometimes sacrificing a friendship in search of something more is what we all must do at some point. Just know that it's all in your head. Just be straight up with this friend, and see what happens, either way it's a beautiful thing to know your ready to love.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Thanks for bringing this up-- I was literally just about to make a post about this.
    You did a good job on this, and I think it's important to address it-- sometimes it seems like half the posts on this website are complaining about the "friend-zone", and while I don't want to belittle any one individual's feelings-- I get that this can be tough-- it's also like... do you guys seriously not understand why talking about your friends like this is sort of unfair/messed up? At all?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Uh, no, it's not in your head, it's a real place girls put guys that they want to keep around for one reason or another but will never want sex with them. And mostly guys that will go along with this pine away their time with her, kissing her ass, hoping one day if they are nice enough, long enough, that she'll somehow fall in love with him, and wantt to have sex with him. The guys that will hang around for this are called beta-orbiters.

    No straight-up guy worth his salt is gonna bother, he has more important things to do with his time, and he's only gonna hang around a girl if he's really interested in her. Casual acquaintances, group friends, mixed company, are all different than the FRIEND ZONE. So those are not the same thing - that's the first thing they'll tell you, 'Oh, I just love having a friend that's a girl.' Yeah right.

    And the girls will keep these guys around if they VALIDATE her, or do shit for her. Like gay friends, they make perfect girlfriends. The thing is, no guy worth his salt is gonna want to go shoe-shopping, or makeup parties, or any other girlie shit, unless he's a beta chump. Those are the guys stuck in the FZ and they're NEVER going to get out unless they move on and forge their own way forward, go after a gal that reciprocates, and really appreciates him.

    No, the FZ is real, and it's an awful place, something like purgatory. LOL

    • I have some guy friends that liked me in the beginning but I knew it wouldn't work out. And now years later (some of them I've been friends with for over 10 years) I've never regretted that decision. They are cool people but the more and more I've gotten to know them the more I see how incompatible we would be as dating partners. One of my best guy friends (who hit on me the first night we met) and I have joked around that if we ever dated we would probably kill each other hah. We know our personalities are so different. And the thing is I knew it from the get go. I didn't have to talk to him long before I knew that.

      But then again most of my interactions with my male friends involve us doing this in groups. And as far as them doing stuff for me... Well. Hmm. I drive 99.9% of the time we go out (and often that involves driving to our friends place half an hour away or the city an hour away) and never rarely any gas money. But that's ok because hanging out is for me too.

    • Show All
    • @powerwoman Yeah, I think they act out here. I highly doubt they expressed their discontent to the friend herself. At least in my case I didn't, I just made a decision based on what I felt was right for me, and it was a good decision, I mean there was no fallout or anything. No cryptic passive aggresive FB or IG post lol.

    • @NoFcks2Give Nice, see, that's called being an adult. I'm really hoping it'll catch on one of these days.

      "I highly doubt they expressed their discontent to the friend herself." --one would hope, and yet, LOL.

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 4

  • I agree, it's either you admit your own feelings or suffer in silence.

  • i think it is a part of life, people over think about it

  • Well said OP!

  • I agree 👏👏


What Guys Said 9

  • The " friend-zone " is a self imposed mental prison , the vast majority of the time , the inmates are male ( just like the real prison population ) Best thing is to cut all contact , if you want more & walk away completely. I have witnessed many a " zoned " guy , be used for goods / services , by the uninterested object of his affections. One advantage of my very detached nature , have never let this happen to me !!

  • if you want her romantically and she wants you as a friend simply move on quite easy no need to suffer or try hard

  • If you are friendzoned, litterally just move on to another girl

    • Of course, but I think people think its a social construct. I think it's more mental.

  • Whenever I meet someone new the only think expect is to form a friendship with them. Who would ever say no to making a new friend? This has helped me to make a lot of friends and I don't have to worry about rejection or whatever it is that people are afraid of.

  • Women suck as friends, they should know this!

  • What about if you don't meet them when they are single tho lol. E. g. at uni I met plenty of girls who were pretty much in my work group (assigned by the university) who were not single, yet I found attractive as well as getting on with them.

    Years later they are single?

    In fact I have a question on one as well, dunno if u can help me

  • Great myTake dude. I agree 100%

  • womens want friendship, guys don't like friendship, the reasons why these guys hang out with girls is because of their genitals. if they don't get what they want and they get an unwanted relationship instead... friendzoned

  • Wow - it's amazing how many people obviously don't know what the friend zone is, think it's just a simple case of unrequited love... and then, decide that since that's all it is, they must educate the world that unrequited love is a bitch, but not a zone or anything.

    Never seems to occur to them that they don't know what the fuck they are talking about...

    • Rather than ranting about people not knowing what they're talking about, why don't you actually explain it? Or are you just one of those people that complain all the time and contribute nothing.