The way your SO makes you feel says a lot about your relationship!

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what a healthy relationship feels like Vs. what an unhealthy relationship can do to you as a human being when some time passes with you IN that relationship... But a lot of the time people forget these general 'rules' which would make their lives a whole lot better!

All of these points apply to your feelings when you're with your SO, when you're thinking of your SO or when your SO is involved in the situation in any way and it goes without saying [but I'm still going to say it] that you being happy with your life and confident with who you are FIRST are basics for the start of any happy relationship:

If you feel:

- supported

- happy

- free to express yourself

- trusting

- loved

- a better person

- confident

then congratulations! You're in a healthy, loving relationship!

But, if you feel:

- judged

- unhappy

- unable to say what you really feel

- unable to express what you want

- fearful of your SO's reactions

- self-conscious

- anxious or stressed

- afraid

then I'm sorry to say, your SO is using you to feel better about themselves or to selfishly get something from you without giving anything in return!

Hopefully you're in that healthy, loving relationship, and if you're not...it's healthier to wait and observe and, with time, you'll get there!


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LittleSally is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you at a certain level because i believe that those feelings you describe at first will not be like that forever, they will get shaked from time to time through situations, which some of them may be totally unexpected, and you will have to show strentgh both of you and stand stronger.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree totally with this. And this is why I'm such a big advocate of listening to your gut when you're in a relationship. If something your SO is doing is bothering you or making you feel bad, then you should feel free to talk to them about it, without fear that you'll be accused of being "oversensitive" or "picking fights". There are so many people out there who think you can have a relationship with someone without compromising or caring about their feelings.

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Join the discussion

What Guys Said 15

  • So true, emotionally abusive relationships suck bigtime whether from a misandrist or a misogynist. It is time to bail.

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  • free to express yourself
    and trusting can be difficult ones and are probly 2 of the strongest indicators of a truly strong relationship

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  • Excellent take! I totally agree!

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  • I feel happy in our relationship.

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  • Thank you

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  • Oh Little Sally, you are so funny. :)

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  • A huge portion of girls will feel the first way regardless.

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  • Good take.

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  • I agree

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  • Interesting

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  • So if you're anxious or stressed with the person. Can that person not be right for you and should you move on?

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  • Thanks for sharing!

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  • Wow interesting

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  • Thank you

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  • Very true, and I loved the anchor symbolism.

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What Girls Said 7

  • glad to see I'm in a healthy relationship. I've been on the unhealthy side and it deteriorates your self worth and your ability to trust. you always think you have done something wrong and the truth is the other person has found a way to mentally abuse you. it takes someone a lot of time and patience to have a healthy relationship after coming back from an unhealthy one. hopefully people start to see the signs and quickly remove themselves from it and get themselves help

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  • I felt like the invisible woman for so long I just wanted my husband to love me the way that he did so many years ago.
    Now he's a completely different man and I finally have my loving husband back.

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  • i dont agree with this take. because what we feel is not equivalent to what our SO does. as a very insecure person, i always feel like im not enough. and even if my SO reassures me again and again, the slightest thing he does like liking a seducive photo of another girl triggers me and makes me afraid. it's a ME problem, so i won't blame it on him. thus, i won't say that he's "using me to feel better about themselves or to selfishly get something from me without giving anything in return!"

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  • Agreeed. Great points

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  • The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.

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  • Thanks.

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  • girl you're 100% rigth

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