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Why Men And Women Can’t Be “Just Friends”! (Page 2)
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In my experience guys hardly make friends with girls they're not attracted to. Usually it's the girl maintaining a one sided friendship.
For me I'm too much of an emotional mess around guys I find attractive to even be friends. I never get past being acquaintances. I act too stand offish around them and eventually we revert back to being strangers.
Pretty much all my guy friends I had weren't my type at all physically. I never felt any butterflies around them or thought romantically of them. I did enjoy talking with them but not really enough to be butthurt if we were no longer friends. Usually that happened when they confessed feelings or got a girlfriend which is understandable.
This is what has happened to me in the past
This happened to me over and over again in college to where now I just don't act super friendly towards guys I don't find attractive.
Even married men where I work will act friendly towards me and I can't think of any other reason why they would. Women typically don't do that.
@pooper89 lol smart move. I'm still in college and I am more friendly to guys I don't find attractive since it's easier to be myself.
I kind of act stiff and aloof around guys I'm attracted to.
Girl you gotta work on that if you're gonna get a boyfriend (idk if you're single or not though)
I know where you're coming from though. I used to be the same way
@pooper89 ya that's one of the main issues as to why I'm single.
Ima fix that problem eventually, thanks 😊💓
This is fucking stupid. Rely on stereotypes much? I thought men were supposed to be rational and logical, not slathering beasts led around by their penises. You can be one or the other. Not both.
Men are usually rational and logical, but we do have higher sex drives than women on average. You can thank good ol' testosterone for that. Many guys fantasize about having sex with all types of women, even when they are in relationships, that doesn't mean they will act on it. That said, men usually treat women differently if they are sexually attracted. Yes, they will secretly think about having a romp with you, especially if they have a warm connection with you. If you form a really deep bond with a man, this urge gets crazy because somewhere in the male brain, sex is a bonding ritual with women. It is a way to share feelings, so even though you are just friends, a guy might still want to express himself to you in this way. This doesn't always happen though; it really depends on the friendship and how attractive you are to him physically, mentally, and spiritually.
@freakyzeaky no. You can be one or the other. You are either emotionless or a slave to your emotions. Sexual desire is an emotion.
“The difference between stupid and intelligent people – and this is true whether or not they are well-educated – is that intelligent people can handle subtlety. ”
― Neal Stephenson, The Diamond Age: or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer
You're making things black or white - but the real world is full of "shades of grey" - i. e., subtlety. Normally women are experts at subtlety, but for some reason, not with this issue.
Sexual desire isn't an emotion, it is a physical drive fueled by testosterone. It is an urge. I don't have emotional urges. When I crave a pizza or chocolate, that isn't an emotion, although I have the willpower to stop myself from eating it (I have goals! heheheh!)
Just because a man wants to have sex with you, desires you, doesn't make him a "slavering beast". He can still be logical and rational in all other areas, and even use logic to reign in on his desires, but his desires are still there.
The same goes for a certain man who is confident to approach you and ask for a date. He may seem like he is super confident, but he really has the same nervousness as most guys, he just knows how to manage it (fake it).
So I repeat, just because a man is friendly with you and hasn't hit on you doesn't mean he doesn't fantasize about you coming on to him and doing naughty things with you. He may even treat you differently because he has the hots (or feels) for you.
@freakyzeaky whatever helps you sleep at night. Or more likely, fap at night.
Mmmkay...
@freakyzeaky she doesn't have an answer.
@harryish you can either be a sex-mad irrational beast, or you can be the epitome of logic and reason. Either/or. You cannot be both. Most men who have taken issue want to have their cake and eat it too: I am here to tell you that you cannot do that.
Some women like sex. *gasp* Who would have thought! Some even like to have no-strings-attached sex. Whoa! Revolutionary! And a guy can be sexually attracted to a friend. Well, I'll be. I guess crushes don't exist in your world. Or friends with benefits. After all, according to you, those benefits wouldn't be mutual, it only benefits the sex-crazed ravenous man.
Yes, I am sex-mad and I can't help it. Its just how I am made. i didn't have options to stay asexual before birth otherwise I would have chosen asexuality as I, myself, am very sick of my high sex drive which keep me from doing many important stuffs which actually matter to my life. And I can't do shit about it as its the men's biology. I too had fantasized about my past female friends without letting them have any idea about that as I could be judged this way and could be rejected/ignored which I clearly don't want to happen to me. They still think of me as their friend just like you think about your male friends though i won't deny I had a thing for them. And fyi stereotype may or may not be real, you never know.
@harryish Well as I have always said, just because a guy will be down to bang his platonic woman friend doesn't mean he will act on it. She might be taken, he might be in a relationship, maybe she is lesbian, maybe he actually tries to flirt and give hints that he is interested and she spurns him. That doesn't mean he won't be down to bang if things change.
Women don't understand this because that isn't the way they are wired. Granted, the guy may have grown up with you and only thinks of you as a sister. But even then, he may still think you are sexually attractive and entertain the idea and if you showed interest, it would be tough for him to be logical enough to say "maybe we shouldn't, it might ruin our friendship".
That also isn't to say that guys aren't looking for love and a serious committed relationship. of course, that isn't true. Sex is supposed to be fun for both genders, it is just that, unlike most women, guys don't need an emotional attachment to thoroughly enjoy it.
@freakyzeaky astoriana ko samjhao koi.
... of course, sex is always better in a romantic loving relationship. The connection is deeper and it makes sex that much more meaningful. It is just that men have the drive to have sex and don't need to feel emotionally stimulated to have sexual fun with a woman. On the flipside, it is common for a woman not be turned on at all if a guy doesn't make her "feel" something. For her, her engines simply don't fire. A truly nymphomanic woman who has the same drive as a man and is revved up just by the thought of sex itself is very rare.
@freakyzeaky Something's wrong with the creation of world. Why such different views for sex among both the gender. But then, if it was that way, No one would have valued sex that much. Very confusing... :P
Think of it this way...
If a woman suddenly feels attraction for a guy friend, maybe she starts seeing in a different way, maybe she is crushing over him. And she finally reveals her feelings to him, and he turns her down by saying "sorry, but I just want to be friends", chances are, it is either because he has a religious conviction OR he simply isn't sexually attracted to you. Some guys are picky like that, some aren't. Women can be picky when it comes to looks too.
BUT, if the guy is sexually attracted but doesn't feel like they are compatible for a relationship, he might be down for friends with benefits. He wouldn't turn down a sexual opportunity. And why not? Sex is fun! It isn't some evil nasty business. I thought most people understand this, it is why so many women are "sex positive" these days.
@harryish Women have more to risk. It is built in nature of their sex. They can get pregnant, they need to feel something for the guy because she needs the security and protection of the father. If the guy doesn't feel for her, her instincts tell her that he won't stick around to help rear the child.
Not only that but women risk assault, harassment, stalking, and rape from the bigger stronger male gender. It is what it is. Women have to be weary. I don't blame them at all.
Still though, many women have friends with benefits and feel safe around their friend. They just don't have to worry about being committed or having any hangups about having other people. In a way, it is kind of like how polygamous relationships are becoming more and more common. Monogamy in many ways is really not in our human instincts, we have to choose to be that way and to not act on our natures. Men get sexually attracted to women even while they are married! Doesn't mean they will act on it.
@freakyzeaky 2nd paragraph portrays me. I turn down girls offer for relationship as I know I can't make her happy or am not compatible with her. Though I could take advantage of her and easily manipulate her into having sex with me. But that would seriously be a nasty act for a guy to do to a girl. I can't see a girl hurt by my actions. Although every bit of my body loud out loudly to have sex with her, but a very strong part always keep me from doing that. But if a girl offers me friends with benefits, it is like a dream come true for me, I would give her any emotional support she wants in exchange of sex. This way I won't feel the guilt and there will be more transparency in the relationship.
@harryish Well check this story out...
I lost my virginity to a girl who came on to me after a night of partying. She was obviously a bit more on the sexually promiscuous side of things than most women. We had sex a few times after that as a sort of friends with benefits situation. She admitted to me that she liked me and that she wanted to be my girlfriend, but I told her that I just didn't feel for her that way. She took it hard, but we still kept in contact with each other and met up for sex sometimes. I didn't string her along, she was the one that came on to me.
She stuck around because deep down she still had feelings and held on to the notion that things may change and I may see her differently. Of course that didn't happen, but apparently, it was those feelings that kept her turned on by me (and the great sex that came of it).
So as you can see, women require that emotional component to get sexually aroused, even if it is just for no-strings-attached sex. Guys not so much.
Now I am not saying if a woman introduced herself to me, I would automatically think she is just in it for sex or that I would just "use" her for sex. No, it would depend on our compatibility, if I could picture being with her for the rest of my life, etc. If she made it clear that she was only interested in a long-term relationship before we had sex, I would respect that. However, if she was fine with just letting off some steam, and she was attracted to me, felt good with me, then I don't see the issue with two adults who are consenting to have sex, even if a LTR isn't in the cards.
This is why communication is so important. Women need to make it clear what they want, because chances are, a guy will have sex with you even if he doesn't want a LTR with you unless you make it clear that you are only interested in an LTR and not sex.
@freakyzeaky yeah very well said.
@harryish As far as my story, could also be the fact that she was so easy with her sex that made me question getting into a relationship with her. She was kind of ditzy too. Just not a woman I would picture having a LTR, getting married to, having kids with, etc. Looking back on it, while the sex was good, I dodged a bullet. She ended up having kids with two different men and was struggling financially.
To end it off, I'd say to any woman, think about one of your close guy friends or even acquaintances. Imagine if you were attracted to him, and he was attracted to you. Let's say you flirted with him and revealed you'd be down for friends with benefits. Chances are, even if the guy didn't want to be in a relationship with you for whatever reason, maybe say you aren't his type, I'm betting 90% chance he would take you up on that offer if he isn't loyal to someone else or is single.
@freakyzeaky Yeah this is clear truth.
Do you take care of her now?
@harryish No, I never really took care of her. Once I let her stay at my place for a while, while she was looking for a new apartment. She is currently with a new guy. Was years ago, and haven't really kept in touch.
@freakyzeaky clearly you and @harryish have chosen to be slathering beasts. Thus, you can never claim to be logical or rational. You’re slaves to your emotions. Cheers. I don’t need your spamming anymore.
@Astoriana we're all of what you've said; we logical, rational and we think with our penises. Why do you think "rape laws" exists? It has to come from somewhere and women are most likely targets of rape by men than the other way around. We're also logical and rational, have you looked up Einstein, Newton, Nath Bose, Russel, Born, etc? These are men who won nobel prizes for their work in math and physics. You can't tell us men to "pick" one or the other? Both are naturally built into us and it' like picking "heart" or "lung" to function for survival.
Oh yeah one thing... Stereotypes comes from the truth...
@Paul1412 continue to make excuses for your shitty and abusive behaviour likes it’s not your fault. It doesn’t make it right. If men cannot control their sexual urges and/or their desire to exert power over other people, then they are not rational and they are not logical.
Awwh, I think someone is cranky, needs a nappy change and needs to be put in bed. When you hear "logic", you think of a person who is "smart" or "wise". Albert Einstein is a perfect example of a logical man, someone who likes to think, someone who is good with numbers and words. Someone who accomplish everything he/she has ever done in their lives to make the world more understandable, sweetheart.
@Paul1412 yes, please resort to infantilizing me because you don’t like being proven wrong. It’s very mature.
This article is idiotic. You reduce men to simpletons who only think of sex and women as users who keep men on the sideline for attention.
I actually have more respect for my male friends than that and they do with me.
No, I don't. I'm simply suggesting that sex is always going to be a very strong factor that needs to be acknowledged.
You think I'm "reducing" men, but I think you're reducing the issue - and that's exactly what I'm trying to address here.
Well, no wonder you can never be friends with women -- you've already made up your mind that it's impossible and just approach women with the intent on fucking them.
You can say what you like. I have three close male friends. We've been friends for over ten years. Two of them are married (not to each other, but to other women). I assure you, they are not going to cheat ion their wives with me.
exactly!
"Men in a happy, monogamous relationship already could potentially be “just friends” with women - but in practice, it’s pretty rare."
I've been friends with both those guys since before they were married. The third one isn't married and as far as I know not in any kind of relationship. Sorry, but your mytake is so much bull.
and I can say it's perfectly possible as well, as a man
act to ask him to have sex with you and see for yourself.
Acting should have been very serious though.
men can be friends with a woman they aren't attracted to. As long as neither parties are attracted to each other, there isn't an issue. But most guys won't go out of their way to hang out with a woman alone, unless he is sexually or romantically interested
this is pretty interesting because yes, we work in very different ways and obviously men are more visual and are programmed to go around and put their sperm wherever they can, that's biology, whereas females are the other way around because increasing our reproductive output is not as easy, all animals respond to this principle. But, if we were 100% like other animals then we would eat out babies if we thought they were weak lol so there are some circumstances where we kinda go against some principles because of emotions, so although I agree that we're programmed in a different way, I still think you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex. I have loads of guy friends and i'm gonna be honest, I know some of them have.. desires lol but I also have some that are literally like my brothers, there's no way we see each other like this, just no lol
Bravo! Right on target. I keep saying this and you're right, the girls just don't get it.
The difference is the way our brains work - girls make an emotional connection that is far removed from their sex-drive. So they're happy to have guys around that will validate them and do stuff for them even if they're not in the least sexually attracted.
Guys are visual, and sex-driven. The only reason he would pay attention to a girl is if he's sexually attracted her. Otherwise what's the point? Right? It's just the way they're wired. The problem is the guy that will hang around for this is what we call a beta-chump, he's just hoping if he kisses her ass for long enough that she'll break down and give him some sex. ain't never gonna happen - the vag-tingles are just not there - she's waiting for Chad Thundercock to wander by and pay her attention - THEN she gets all wet in the panties.
This is known as the 'friendzone' :)
I have female friends that are just friends and we leave it as that.
I love when people complain about being friend zoned by a girl. From my experience, it's better to be friends with someone than an enemy even if you like them more and they don't feel the same way.
Plus it's a possible way to meet other women that way.
You can still be their friend without being a doormat.
"I have female friends that are just friends and we leave it as that."
So, you have NO desire to have sex with them, at all? Meaning, if they offered tomorrow for no-strings attached sex, and there would be no consequences, you wouldn't WANT it?
Depends on if I find them physically attractive. I've only slept with a friend once.
It's not about what you've DONE as much as it is about what you'd LIKE to do.
You say that you'd have sex with your female friends (the ones you find attractive, anyway). That essentially means that, even though you DO nothing (overt) towards that interest, it's still going to impact the way you treat her, how much you're willing to put up with from her, and how long you'll stick around. It makes a difference!
And women need to understand that. It can't be changed, really, but at least if you understand something exists, you can make better-informed decisions.
I see where you're coming from but I'd say it's all situational. We were both drunk, started making out, and then banged later.
It's funny because my friends in or circle wanted her way more than I did. I wasn't even bragging about it but it just kinda happened. No awkward feelings afterwards and we still hang out to this day.
Not quite a long time ago I was "talking" with a guy. Things were going great, we've spent a lot of time just talking about different things. And I was flirting with him and he flirted back.
We've decided to meet in person one day and that was also great- we've had an amazing chat up until he tried to kiss me.
Note that this WASN'T a date, it was just a meet-up. I gently turned him down because I wanted to take things slow, and he seemed to be fine with that... After that we had a brief chat online and then the infamous "I'll text you later" happened and we haven't spoken ever since.
I had a small crush on him and he we could've ended up dating but I guess he just wanted to sleep with me.
That is really not true, men and women can be just friends.
I have females friends that are just friends, there is no maybe we have a chance of hooking up one day involved. A couple of them are ex's, but I would never consider again have a physical relationship with any of them.
My longest friendship with a female has been going on for fifty odd years, we were babies together, we lost contact when we were 5. Reestablished contact when I was 18, and have been a part of each other lives ever since. We have traveled together, have shared a bed a few time while traveling. Stay at each other homes, when we visit each other. But in all that time, we have never come close to ever getting into a sexual situation.
We are very close, both of our siblings (I have 5 brothers, she has 3 sisters) to this day, express their disbelief that we have never been physical with each other.
There is one big big thing I think most of us make mistakes on
When you say women aren't interested in casual sex --> why do so many believe that. Its simply not true
Women engage in a lot of casual sex. In fact if i line up every single guy and every single girl. I can betcha the girls take the lead when it comes to casual sex. Porn. Camming. Money for sex. Sugar daddy. 3somes. You name it she's done it
its takes two to tango. If guys are having casual sex, he has a women there that also wants casual sex
--> with that ya it can be hard to be completely plutonic but not unheard of
"Women engage in a lot of casual sex. In fact if i line up every single guy and every single girl. I can betcha the girls take the lead when it comes to casual sex. Porn. Camming. Money for sex. Sugar daddy. 3somes. You name it she's done it"
Can you not see that almost all of the examples you just gave show that her interest is MONEY (or status)? She's not having casual sex because she wants casual sex - she's having casual sex TO GET SOMETHING ELSE SHE *REALLY* WANTS. She's just using casual sex as a means to an end. And some women do it just for attention, or validation. Sure, a few do it because they genuinely enjoy it, but that's the exception.
Guys don't have casual sex for any other reason than they want casual sex. The motivation is completely different.
The definition of friendship for me is based on the question of what is the common interest between these two that makes the friendship. Music, hobby, drugs maybe... something right? I never see two straight dudes hanging out because one likes to listen to the other's stupid problems and the other is so glad to find someone that will actually listen. ... and if you do, guess what... that dude listening to those problems is pretending to really care and he is glancing at the other dudes cock every chance he gets.
So 9 times out of 10, I'm calling bullshit when a girl says "he's just a friend" or "he's just a nice guy." Because the answer to that question (what is the common interest?) Doesn't even exist or is different.
Trust me ladies, 9 times out of 10 he's bragging about how he's gonna snake you from your bf/husband to all the other guys at work. lol
true
So to start off with you outline three categories of guys and instantly disqualify them from the whole assumption? It is possible, I've had a number of close guy friends for years and I understand what you're saying about how things can easily progress from friends to 'more than' but that doesn't mean they weren't friends in the first place. A lot of the guys I've been friends with for years (yes, spending time with them) are married now & it can definitely make things more relaxed or more distant depending on the partner. But it depends if the guy is looking at the women around him for who they (individually) are or how likely he is to sleep with them. Because if it's the second one he'll be lucky if he can have true guy friends let alone find a good partner. It's definitely possible but it takes respect & caring about each other, otherwise, yeah, it'll be impossible.
I have plenty of guys in my life who are just friends and who think of me as a friend. We give each other relationship advice, we talk about life, we look out of each other just like my girl friends and I do. I don't understand why you don't think it's possible.
Want to be shocked? Try this: go up and ask them "how would you feel if I told you I wanted to have sex with you, just once, to see what it was like?"
How many of your "friends" are going to say "look, I get it, but I'm just not attracted to you that way" vs how many will say "Really? When? I'm good to go now..."
You may not think of them in a sexual way, but that doesn't mean they don't think of YOU in a sexual way. They're MEN, and men are DIFFERENT. But find out for yourself: ASK THEM.
unless these guys are gay (which I doubt most of them are) I can tell you right now the thought is floating around their minds. Given your age group these guys are naive. They are keeping you in their "orbit" for possibility...
I say this because I got brutally friend zoned 3 times in my late teen and early 20s. I stuck around thinking they would change their mind (which I now know will never happen).
It's okay to be friends with these guys. They made a decision to keep talking to you. But if any of them started showing signals early and you did your friend zone black magic... realize its torture for them.
@somewheresomeway that's very, very false. I am a very monogamous person, whenever I see that I like a girl (both mentally and physically) but with whom I know it wouldn't work (for different behaviours or point of views or whatever) I'm good with becoming friends with her, because I am a people person in general.
@Giacomanzo That's great - but it just means you are an EXCEPTION to the rule. I said at the beginning that they exist - they're just RARE, and women shouldn't assume the exception; they should assume the rule, and most of the time, they'd be right.
I don't know. Most people I know, both men and women are like me. But I guess that also depends on the fact that we surround ourselves with who's similar to them.
That being said, I think nobody should assume nothing. Nor the "rule", nor the "exception".
What if the girl is ugly?
@GirlThatDraws I also have female friends to whom I'm not physically attract to, of course. But that already implies no sexual intentions toward her.
@GirlThatDraws "What if the girl is ugly?"
Then she probably doesn't have guy friends in the first place. But if she does - maybe because she has an awesome personality or an incredible talent - then she's one of those exceptions.
I don't get it... I guess it's different for guys
"I don't get it... I guess it's different for guys"
Which is THE ENTIRE POINT of this article - it IS different for guys.
People here don't give a shit about biology. People who are from science background with a bit good logical reasoning ability will clearly find it easier to understand you and agree with you but those who have arts background clearly will not have and idea what's going on in here. They will always live in a state of delusion which they will never able to be aware of.
As far as I am concerned, I find your take very interesting. It helped me have a better picture of the relationships. Very helpful.
I beg to differ.
I had feelings for my friend who is my classmate. She rejected me because she's in a relationship, but we're still friends till today. I'll say we grew closer and still are growing closer, but I don't have any intentions of fucking her. If in the future things happen, then they happen.
So I dismiss your argument because it appears to be largely based on the stereotypical view of men being overshadowed by lust. And even if the stereotype was not present, your argument barely makes complete sense because it appears to be a one-sided view. Perhaps you have not been able to successfully sustain a friendship with your female friends, which is why you have formed such an argument. If that is the case, as it appears to be, you need to change the way you view women.
Notice how he refuses to say anything to you, since you being a man disproves his whole stupid theory.
@Tanisha69 He's trying to get people to buy his idea
"I had feelings for my friend who is my classmate. She rejected me because she's in a relationship, but we're still friends till today. I'll say we grew closer and still are growing closer, but I don't have any intentions of fucking her. If in the future things happen, then they happen."
Are you kidding? You just proved my point: you WANTED to be with her, and to this day, you are STILL willing to be with her! She FriendZoned you, and you seem to be happy to wait there.
You're just as in denial as many of the women here. [rolleyes]
Firstly, I rebut your assumption of me still willing to wait to be with her. Although your point that I wanted to be with her is valid, I am clearly not waiting to be with her. If you had taken the liberty to read my post with greater clarity, I had stated that we are friends and we are getting to know each other better as friends (emphasis added).
Secondly, it is obvious to many that the only party in denial here is the author himself. It would be unwise and unjust to merely assume the fact that all of us who challenge your argument are in denial because clearly, the author himself seems to be pushing for the validity of his argument in desperate measures. As such, it would be wise for the author to get a fresh perspective on the argument he has come up with.
For the reasons given above, I dismiss the author's argument and continue to assert that he should take the liberty to make proper assertions that are of sound mind in the future.
I was quoting YOUR words that you are still open to having sex with her. I didn't write those words, YOU DID. You can't be "just friends" if you are still interested in having sex with her.
Never once in my original post and reply thereafter did I mention specifically that I want to have sex with her. Neither was this mentioned when you quoted me. Your last sentence simply reflects my position regarding your mentality, that you appear to view women whose sole purpose is to satisfy your sexual needs. As mentioned earlier, it would be best for you to reshape your perspectives.
Case is dismissed.
@MrOracle He might also be open to receiving a massage from his friend. Does that mean they're not "just friends"? I mean, sex is really that meaningless to men, right (according to your post)? So why does being open to sex make it any less "just friends" than if he was open to receiving a massage?
Um this post is freaking me out!
My boyfriend is super friendly with a girlstripper from his workwork, he calls her regularly outside work hours, they hang outside of work, she sent text messages I've seen end with xx , he's says she's "hot"!!
When I've expressed im not comfortable with their friendship, he said they are close friends its a brother and sister like friendship. This post has me feeling like its not :-[ likely...
Should read "girl from his work"
The thing is, if that GIRL decides she's not going to sleep with him, then they won't sleep together. And girls "friendzone" guys all the time. But think about it: if every guy didn't want to sleep with her, why would she NEED a friendzone?
I'm not saying he will cheat - guys CAN be attracted to women, and WANT sex with them, but control themselves and not actually DO it. But the honest truth is that the temptation to do it will be strong, and some guys just don't have the will to resist (and some won't even bother to TRY to resist, but those guys are assholes anyway).
Thanks for your reply.
Im completely uncomfortable now, already was but now more.
Sorry about that - but in my opinion it's better to start with the truth, and not be in denial. You can manage your life better overall if your eyes are fully open and you see things how they really are. It may not be how you'd LIKE it to be, but being in denial is almost always worse for you in the long run.
Yeah its time to make some boundaries. You habe the right to tell him to either choose her or you, tbh most girls i know would leave the second he mentioned being friends with a stripper. You got a hell of patience, i guess you really love him..
Thank you so much for your views, even though hard to swallow the cold facts, it has force me to face and deal with what I thought all along but stuffed it away and tried to ignore even when I didn't want to... for his sake, to keep the peace when it not cool.
Well, he may not have had sex with her yet. Its not always very easy. But i guess he still had the intent to do so. I think you should have a talk with him and just be honest with your feelings. And if he starts bullshitting, tell him to cut the crap and be honest. Im sorry this is happening to you. It must feel pretty bad to be fighting over a guy with a stripper
wanting to have as much sex is put into all of us men. But our love is only for the special ones. Maybe he loves you purely but wants to have multiple sex. Figure it out by talking with him.
I value all my friends and I'm certainly not out to have sex with the female ones. I value the bonds I share with people regardless of gender.
Shit we have to stop being friends :/ you just want to fuck me :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/
@lumos lmao well it was fun while it lasted pal. I can't deny my gender unfortunately..
I agree with you for the most part.. because 90% of the guys I was friends with later confessed they used to have a crush or something... or they still have feelings for me.. BUT girl-guy friendships are not as rare are you think they are.. there can be times when two people are friends but they just don't like each other in sexual way at all..
oh and by the way "Ladies, tell your “guy friends” that, while you value his friendship, things will NEVER, EVER go further. Essentially, kill all hope of sex or a romantic relationship." I almost always do that.. because I'm not looking for a relationship and I wanna stay single for a while.. but still I get stuck in this shitty situation where I have to lose a friend. I would love to have a gay friend if anyone's available.
Overall It's a well written mytake and I had a great time reading it. :)
Basically you are saying that a strait guy or a bisexual guy can be friends with a women he does not find attractive. The reason is because if a guy finds a woman attractive then he automatically wants sex with her. A straight woman or a bisexual woman can only be friends with a guy she does not find attractive. She has guys as friends just go attention.
There are guys who see others as nothing other than sexual objects and same goes for woman. There are guys and women who see others for other things besides sex and or just what they can get from then such as concert tickets, free meals etc.
Mostly what I'm saying is that MOST of the time, guys will have a sexual attraction to the women - and OFTEN, they do their best to keep it hidden - but that attraction will nevertheless have a big impact on their "friendship", even if she doesn't realize it.
This also explains the guys who simply aren't interested in friendships, or why guys "fade away" once they figure out that sex is completely off the table.
Everybody needs to just drop this shit. You can be friends with the opposite sex. You can be collegues with them, you can be around girls you find attractive and speak to them. It's more difficult if you like them, and impossible if it really hurts that you don't get them.
Most girls aren't going to date a guy they dont know. Or consider him long term.