Powerlessness and How It Sucks

[FrenchyRomain]

I'm currently in a LDR for those who know, and I'm pretty sure she'll be reading this.

Being in a relationship where you cannot have any form of physical contact (hugs, cuddles, kisses, even sex) is very fucking hard (especially for me who just loves to hug and cuddle). The thing is I'm okay with throwing my comfort out the window for a year because I need to finish my studies and get my first job. The thing is even though I talk to her every day, even though I share how I feel and how hard it is without her I can't do much else : I feel trapped.

I know she feels down sometimes just like I do, probably even worse than me, and that's where the frustration starts : I can't help her. I can only tell her things, I can say that I love her, that I will see her, that I will hold her in my arms and never let go again..... but I can't do much else.

Feeling like you want to do more but you're hitting a wall that you can't get through is without question one of the worst feeling's I've ever felt, realizing that despite all your best intentions, despite all your efforts, despite all the intense feelings you have for your SO nothing will get past that invisible wall.

So what do you do ? What do I do ? I send her letters, I send her gifts, I try to plan trips to see her, I talk to her every day to remind her that I love her, that I'm here for her, that even though we live 1500 + kilometers from each other for now it won't stay that way forever, that I want to build something with her even if it's scary........ but that's pretty much all I can do.....

Just like Sisyphus's torment, pushing a boulder to the top of a mountain, only to see it roll down the other side, I feel crushed under this emotional weight, and it could go away so easily if I held her hand, made her laugh or simply cuddled.

I take my mind off it, I play guitar, I talk to my friends, I watch our old videos where we were together, I look at our old pictures we took, I cherish every moment I ever was in her presence... and hope that this year will pass as fast as possible....

Short myTake sorry.

[NEOTUNIA2U]

You both are fortunate to have each other, even when you both are far apart yet your hearts never apart. Sweet confession, I hope the best for you two.

[Iron_Man]

That's tough man

[FrenchyRomain]

thanks for the support, i know we haven't seen eye to eye on many occasions (none actually if i recall) but i genuinely appreciate the support.
we've been bickering for the better part of 2 years now but when i'm down you didn't kick me while i was there... i'll remember that

[Iron_Man]

You're very welcome

[Iron_Man]

Thank you for most helpful award

[FrenchyRomain]

honestly i never thought you'd be the one whose words touched me the most yet here we are

[Iron_Man]

Yes it's happened and here we are for sure

[Logorithim]

As someone who is also in an LDR, I understand perfectly what you're going through- you're doing the best you can to overcome the separation and just hang in there- you have a good future ahead of you!

[AndyFo]

Those are always tough relationships, I was in one myself, one that failed unfortunately. I could tell you that distance can make the heart grow even more fond, but it doesn't erase knowing your not there with them every waking moment. An those feelings will continue to grow the longer you go at a distance. But even though mine failed, it was in the end, worth every second of my time. If she is willing to keep walking than keep walking with her until the day you can hold her hand again, remain strong for yourself and for her. Cherish the moments when you have a chance together, they help to keep you strong.

[AlienParasite]

I feel you. I'm going to study in another city and be a year in a LDR with my boyfriend. I've been just a month and a half without touching him, and it's awful. I hope I get some free time to do maaany trips.

Your take shows a lot of love and cherish for your girlfriend, you sound like a really good boyfriend. Hope you both can get through this LDR phase well. Best wishes for you both.

[FrenchyRomain]

thank you for the support

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

I get what your feeling man. I had a relationship once that was long distance. it hurt bad and he didn't even want to stay with me because he couldn't handle the distance even though it was just a state away. I can sense that amount of love you have for this girl. It truly is love when 2 people can stick together even when they are physically far apart.

[PlsWork]

What you're going through right now is called life. You have to realize that for men, life just keeps on getting better with time, and so that means that it sucks while you're young. With time you'll see how much better life is, especially after you have a stable job and know how life works. Right now you can't do anything about this. The only thing you can do is focus on your career and just tank through it, because there's no other way around it, other than you hitting the jackpot.

[skateranon123]

I'm on the opposite end of this. I'm currently in a Long distance relationship. I've never been in one before but me and this girl grew so attached so fast that none of us can believe it.

I've had plenty of relationships where I could see the girl every day and I can honestly tell you that I've never felt closer to anyone in my life as of yet. The distance seems irrelevant to both of us and I trust her very much.

If you feel like this then I think it might not be the right girl for you to be honest. If you're relationship is based on just physical contact that is gonna be rough when shit hits the fan. I'm gonna go see her soon so I'm very happy.

[VixenRach]

Aww, yes ldrs are hard but they're so worth it. How long have you two been together? 😊

[FrenchyRomain]

we have been together for almost 9 months... i spent 7 months with her and now i have to stay in france to finish my studies

[VixenRach]

Oh nice

[Aenetone]

Be thankful you have someone in your life. Some people don't.

[Wammu]

You need to find another woman and move on with your life. . . Long distance relationships aren't a thing. . . They are a lie people who are broken up but don't have the stones to move on tell themselves to hold onto the past.

You need intimacy and sex, and you're fighting yourself.
Stop doing that, its stupid.

[VIVANT]

It’s just a year not a big deal.

[Wammu]

@VIVANT A year? Do you know how much a year means to me? I can read a book in a day, I can learn guitar in a month, I can learn calculus in a month along with 2 other classes, I can ask out 20 girls in a week and have some amazing sex with 1-2 of them, I can go through SO much protein and SO many workouts. A year is 12 months 12 months is 30 days multiplied by 12. Time is a resource you are literally NEVER getting back. EVER.

Just a year? Not a big deal? It's LITERALLY the biggest deal of them all.

[VIVANT]

You could do ALL those things except one. i meant it’s not a big deal if you want o be with someone. Nothing is stopping him from learning thjnhs, actually sounds like he’s got more time to do so.

[VIVANT]

by the way,

Did you do all of those things this year... time being so impotent to you?

[Wammu]

@VIVANT actually I did all those things during the summer. I've always been a gym goer, and calculus was one of the summer classes i took along with western civ and principles of programming languages. Guitar wasn't hard to pick up.

[Wammu]

@VIVANT and yes i did read a book a day and have some good sex. ^^

[VIVANT]

Being in love is special and different than just dating a bunch of people. You can do all the things you did and wait a year for someone you care for. I don’t tjjjk a year is long when tbehmattef , though I’m comfortable being alone and going without things I want, so maybe that’s why it’s not a big deal to me. I can understand other people being bothered by it, 🙂

[Wammu]

@VIVANT excuses.

[VIVANT]

Excuses towards want exactly , I don’t know what you are referring to?

[FrenchyRomain]

@VIVANT leave him... he's an idiot

[VIVANT]

Still , I couldn’t figure out what I’m ostensibly trying to excuse lol

Some people care about certain things others care about other thins others care about the same things but pretend they don’t bc it looks good to them. Just don’t see excuse coming in as if one way is superior- remind some of the pretending group

[Wammu]

@FrenchyRomain

Who are you and what have you accomplished this year?

[Wammu]

@VIVANT. . . Dude, good luck.

[FrenchyRomain]

@Wammu computer engineer student, created 3 websites, 2 apps and just studied for an entire year abroad in the Jonkoping University in sweden, learned guitar (like you did), mowed the lawn a couple of times, found the love of my life, started my final year of studies, found a part time job and started my own company

[Wammu]

And you know something? I respect that.

[FrenchyRomain]

and you know something i don't care what you respect considering what you have said and what you believe in this thread.

[Wammu]

@FrenchyRomain : It's a shame, so much potential and action, yet so petty and obtuse. If you were initiated as a man you and I probably could have had some common ground. :/

[FrenchyRomain]

I'd rather slit my wrists than have any common ground with the likes of you

[Wammu]

Too late, we're both programmers. Join the dark-side.

[FrenchyRomain]

i.kym-cdn.com/.../COOLSTORY.jpg
i couldn't care less... seriously

[Wammu]

You literally went into your PC to get a picture of a meme with one of the most obscure Marvel characters ever just to say : "I couldn't care less" kind of ironic, non?

[FrenchyRomain]

google image "cool story bro" copy paste... and yeah i don't care i don't like you

[Wammu]

I don't need you to like me.

[FrenchyRomain]

great bye

[Wammu]

Later.

[Xylem1992]

i can only imagine how hard it can be. long distance is rough.
only way to make it work is making time to see each other as much as possible.

[Lance1965]

I hope it all works out for you but these situations are tough.

[Dingaldongal]

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. Women are pretty much interchangeable, it's always a mistake to imagine there's something special about any specific woman, a hole's a hole.

[LadyAvon]

I'm sure she's lucky to have you.

[FrenchyRomain]

if only she read it

[Harsh_Ch]

Life is short and the world is a big place, why pursue an LDR when you could find so many other women near you?

[FrenchyRomain]

because i love HER and no one else

[Chelle15]

Like the viewpoint

[FrenchyRomain]

thank you

[Wifflesnoofer63]

You need to get a side chick. Or visit a prostitute.

[FrenchyRomain]

i know i already lost faith in humanity when i was 10 or so but damn...

[happychappy999]

Great take l understand

[RedRobin]

Nice take

[Penelope_]

Great take!

[BillieJean1070]

Good story to share.