Relationships

The Power of "I Love You"

The first problem is that we don't say it enough - I love you. Sometimes we forget to say it, sometimes we want to say it but miss our chance. Sometimes we don't realize we even love the person till they're gone. I didn't get to tell my grandparents that I loved them before they died, I didn't get to say it to the first guy I ever loved, when I was fifteen, and I never said it to my dad who left when I was little.

Yet, when we go along with our daily lives we can never find the right time to say it, because it would be awkward, or because we're afraid they won't feel the same, or because it's not the right mood to say it, or because it's too soon. It's hard to find the right moment.

After my grandparents and high school teacher passed away, I immediately started telling my teachers and friends that I love them and that they mean the world to me, because I finally started to feel the clock ticking. I realized that I could lose anyone at any moment and that there was no time to waste. My sister-like friend since Kindergarten tells me she loves me every time we end a Skype call. I love her for that.

The Power of

But, wait a minute, what about in relationships? Isn't timing and reading the other person's feelings important before saying it? Aren't the magic words so powerful it could either improve or deteriorate a relationship? Shouldn't those words be used with caution? That's what I always thought - until today, that is.

Today, my arm-inked, hair-set best friend (here on referred to as "wingman") told me that his new girlfriend dropped the L bomb first, and I was impressed (although they were tipsy. Still, it's brave.) I haven't met her but I like her already. I applaud her for first of all saying it and second of all for saying it before him. I wonder what she'd expected. Did she know he would say it back, or did she decide to take a bold chance? It for sure wasn't the alcohol speaking, because they're going strong since the day she said the words.

So, after my wingman told me about this I felt a tint of jealousy because my boyfriend almost never expresses his feelings in words. He's not shy, I mean, he's a very confident guy and shows me he cares. It's just that I'm always the one saying meaningful things. I was the first to say I'd miss him before his mission (special ops) a few months ago and I was the one to start the sentimental water-work session before we parted last week for his next mission. It makes me wonder how long it will take till he says those three words to me. Possibly never. I know he cares - I can tell by the way he looks at me, by the way he talks to me, by the way he holds me, and by the way he's always eager to see me. Yet, he hasn't said it. Does that mean he doesn't love me? Or is he as hesitant as I am? Or does he feel it's too soon? Should I say it first like my wingman's girl did? Will my boyfriend say it back?

My wingman says he's relieved she said it first, because he was hesitant and couldn't say it even though he wanted to. So, does this imply that it's unfair for a girl to always wait for the guy to say it? Is it equally humiliating when a guy is rejected? Who should say it? When? How?

Is there a right moment to say it?

All I know is that time goes by fast and the worst feeling is the regret of having lost the chance to tell the people we love that we love them. So, maybe I should tell my boyfriend that I love him. After all, we don't get much time together and he doesn't exactly have the safest job. Maybe we all need to use these words more often, and sooner - before it's too late.

The Power of

I'm starting to think, well, if he doesn't say it back then at least I'll know we're not on the same page. Maybe it doesn't necessarily mean I should end things there. Maybe there's just no time to waste, no matter what.

The Power of "I Love You"
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