Relationships

What Love is to ME

People define love by their own measurements. Be it how much money someone is willing to spend on you, to how much time they are willing to devote to responding to your every text right away. Everyone has an idea in their head of what love should be and the gestures that should define how strong it is. When I see people questioning if their SO loves them based on their willingness to do a list from A to Z, I can’t help but feel their perception of love is a bit tarnished. Of course, to everyone this is different, so I have no right to say that what they expect is tarnished by unrealistic expectations. Rather, I have decided to make a small list of what love is to me, just for fun.


Love is SELFLESSNESS


I don’t know about anybody else, but all too often I see people torn up over the fact that this person that they claim to love refuses to be with them. I completely understand, but what I don’t understand is the anger, bitterness, and unwillingness to let go of the idea that you can’t be an item. Perhaps this is just me, but I have always felt that anybody worth loving is worth seeing happy, and if that happiness is better achieved without me by their side in an intimate way, then I would much rather us be apart. I would rather have them in my life as a friend than not at all, and I would rather see them happy with another person than living a sub-par life with me, simply because I was too selfish to let them go after what they wanted, as I was too consumed with my own desires.

Will it hurt? Of course it will. But if you really love someone, at least in my opinion, you’ll be willing to let them do what makes them happy, even if that means your desires are compromised.


What Love is to ME


Love is WITHOUT PRICE


A man does not need to constantly prove his love to me in the form of overly-extravagant acts and purchases. I don’t need him to book us the fanciest most expensive dinner, and I don’t need him to show up to my place in a BMW. He doesn’t need to write me poetry every day, and he doesn’t need to buy me a dozen roses, even on Valentine’s Day. All I need from him is his loyalty, his honesty, and him. I crave a man’s subtleties, his small but meaningful gestures, and his presence. I would rather have his ability to laugh with me over something stupid that a pair of diamond earrings that turn heads as I pass by. To me, love is all in the heart you present your lover with … not how much they’re willing to do or spend to prove their love to you.


What Love is to ME


Love is the ability to be IMPERFECT


Love isn’t about making you or your partner into the perfect mate. It isn’t about making sure that you never say anything that hurts them and it isn’t about spending every single day trying to win their approval. Love is a long course where you both learn from one another by being imperfect human beings and the lesson is the same: learn to accept and love another imperfect human being. Love will forgive that time you said that one really fucked up thing to your girl when you were mad, love will also forgive that one time you forgot that your man told you he couldn’t pick you up from work and sent him a nasty message about forgetting you. Love is also going to forgive if you don’t always remember to rinse your dishes, or if your hair is always found in odd little clumps all over the house. Love is going to make you want to curl up to your SO even after you spent an hour arguing about one thing that turned into 10 other things, because you love each other. So you learn to forgive, and you learn to communicate, fix, readjust and polish your relationship, all while keeping in mind that things won’t always be perfect, but that with love, they can be great … most of the time.


What Love is to ME


Love is 100/100


While you don’t need to express love in overly extravagant ways, you should never do any less than your best to make your lover happy. This doesn’t mean you need to sweep them off their feet every day with overly romantic gestures, but rather you need to be willing to do what it takes to make sure that they are happy. If this means you have to bite your tongue when they annoy you, or you have to force yourself to be open to new ideas, you do it; if you have to watch Grey’s Anatomy once a week, or if you have to put up with weekly guy’s nights, you do it; if it’s the smallest of romantic gestures, like leaving dorky sticky notes with cheesy one liners on them, or if it means sending a naughty text once in a while … you do it. Whatever the case may be, you both have to be devoted enough to give the same amount of effort to make things work.


What Love is to ME


Love is OVERWHELMING


Lastly, but most certainly not the least: love is overwhelming. Love is the one emotion that will burn pleasantly and painfully. Love is the one thing you will fight and sacrifice for, cry and laugh for. It will make you act many ways, both good and bad, but in the end, you will always feel its worth trying for. It is the one emotion that is so complex in depth yet so simple in theory. Love is one of those things that you cannot define by a singular definition, dictionary or not: you have to experience it for yourself to understand how prolific it is.


What Love is to ME


I hope you enjoyed my mush fest everyone. Enjoy the rest of your week!

What Love is to ME
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