I Do Not Help My Wife

[Haxxus]

I found this bit of text online and the title caught my attention. "They have some nerve and I'd like to know what they have to say for themselves" was my thought. After reading, I couldn't agree more with it. What do you think of this?

I Do Not Help My Wife

A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores

.

I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said "thank you" but a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart! You are fantastic!

Does that seem absurd to you? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job. Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity.

Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home; in his house. The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship!

[taleswapper]

On the other side, though, it's ridiculously easy for a wife to get he husband to do chores by offering him a little affection. My brother will do almost anything for a kiss from his wife; it's a Pavlovian response. He can be neck deep into something, and if she shouts "Hon? Can you take out the trash?" he will leap to his feet and race to do it, because he knows she'll give him a hug and a kiss as soon as he's done. They're one of the most physically affectionate couples i know, as a result.

"Should she HAVE to do it that way?" No, of course not. But it works like a charm, and she gets a loving and affectionate husband out of the deal, and can bask in it. Win-win, I say.

[SkipStop]

If I understand this correctly, you do chores not to help someone but for yourself. You live there so it's your responsibility to take care of it. And anyone else who lives there has the same responsibility. They do chores not to help you but for themselves.

[Haxxus]

I don't think it's really doing things *for* anyone, even yourself. If I were to look at it that way I would think it would be very selfish of me. You do it because it is supposed to be done. It's a responsibility as you said. If my roommate were to say, "Thank you for washing the dishes" and I reply with, "It's cool. I did it for me" he would give me a funny look.

[Ellie-V]

I too have heard of males complaining about the lack of praise they receive when they finally decide to do their part.
And it is very annoying. Why would anyone hand you a cookie for something you were SUPPOSED to do?

[princessfromjupiter]

I completely agree, needless to say that such men with massive entitlement issues, as the "friend" in this story, clearly aren't marriage material to begin with.

[Haxxus]

I don't think it's that. I think it's lack of teaching or teaching the wrong way

[princessfromjupiter]

It doesn't matter where they stem from, entitlement issues are a no no.

[Kiran04]

"I do not help my wife clean the house..."

Nor do I. I remodeled it. I tiled the floors, put the wood down, painted the walls, installed the counter-tops, fixed the leaks.

"I do not help my wife to cook..."

Nor do I. I made the kitchen and paid for it.

"I do not help my wife wash the dishes..."

Nor do I. I bought and installed the dish washer.

"I do not help my wife with her children..."

Nor do I, because she has none, and when she does they will OUR children.

"I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes..."

Nor do I, I bought and installed the washer and dryer.

Only the most short sighted and ignorant simpletons believe that "house work" is limited to only the chores done inside the house. My girlfriend (yes not a wife, but woopty doo) does all of the internal chores. But I tend to the trees, I planted them. I mow the grass, I laid it, maintain the car, clear the gutters, re-paint the walls, do general repair work, remodel, stain the deck, and shovel the drive way. My contributions are felt without doing an ounce of chores or housework, because chores and housework are not even a small fraction of what it takes to maintain a home.

[Ellie-V]

Relationships are supposed to be a partnership.

[Kiran04]

@Ellie-V And?

[Ellie-V]

I was just adding my two cents.
What you and your girlfriend have is not a partnership.

[Kiran04]

@Ellie-V That only tells me that you didn't actually read what I posted.

[Ellie-V]

I read every word. But you entitled to your opinion ☺️
I was just giving you mine.

[Ellie-V]

you are*

[mistixs]

@Ellie-V yes it's a partnership, they both contribute

[Ellie-V]

@mistixs if one person is doing the most and the other is doing the least that is not a partnership in my opinion. It’s like working on a project doing all the research and construction while the other writes down the answers/explanation.

[Kiran04]

@Ellie-V Only in your skewed mind can you possibly come to the conclusion that one of us does more than the other.

[Ellie-V]

Okay

[dantetheexplorer]

I agree with you.
When you say "I help my wife", the assumption is that it's your wife's responsibility to do it - you're just helping.

So yes, you're right. You're not helping your wife. You're just taking care of the house and doing the chores.

I'm always very appreciative of my parents because they both shared the responsibilities at home, so I grew up knowing for a fact that married men and women should do house chores as a team, not one "helping" the other.

[FatherJack]

I was the man in this situation , my ex ( one of the main reasons why I dumped her ) was bone idle and did nothing around the house , I am a single parent , still working FT , and it is actually easier without her , one less person to clean up after. Second nature to me , was expected to do chores as a child and former British Army.

[yasii]

I agree. With my parents it was always 50/50. I wouldn't expect less from a partner. Otherwise I couldn't share a home with him.
If both work, both should do the housework.

[TonyMetal86]

Agreed, that's why i will never marry a business woman 😏

[yasii]

Whatever works for you🤷🏻‍♀️

[TonyMetal86]

Sure, everyone will search for what works the best for them 😏

[Alice2398]

I like what your saying men shouldn't expect praise for cleaning their house, cooking their own dinner etc that should just be expected of any normal capable person. When dose the average house wife actually get thanks for the work she does probably only rarely but if she was gone for a week the whole family would probably be fucked without her and she doesn't do it for the praise they do it because they know its what they have to do to keep everything running well for everyone else.

[TonyMetal86]

If i had a housewife, even if it's her role to serve and does everything in the house, also i know that i provide for her and buy her food and her needs, but i will still thank her for everything she does because i love her as she will always thank me too, i lived this type of life for 9 years and now i'm looking for it again if i'll get married someday in the future...

A housewife is a princess, she shall be appreciated... if she tells her man that without him she's nothing, i tell her that without her we are nothing too...

A man must take sometimes his wife out and make her feel happy, and give her romance, since she treats him like a king, make her feel that she's a queen too, also assure that she looks always beautiful for you, a housewife can makw love to her man without worrying about time or missing her job's schedules 😊

[Alice2398]

@TonyMetal86 well that sounds nice but unfortunately not all women are that lucky to have a man like that.

[TonyMetal86]

Sadly miss alice, but we start going by this quote, our lives might change, "treat the way you want to be treated"...

For me marriage is sacred, no lies at all, the word divorce doesn't exists as long there's no cheating, it's true that there will be a lots of ups and downs but when you feel that life is impossible without your man and your man shares with you the same feeling, you will live together forever simply and might leave everyone for the one you love...

There is nothing nore beautiful coming back home tired from work to be welcomed by your wife with a big hug, sweet words, lots of kisses and a delicious meal, a man in his house is like a king in his castle with his wife who is an angel, someone whom he can sleep on her lap comfortably where he finds peace and sorrow...

When your wife treats you like and gives you her everything and you become her entire life, make her feel that she's your everything too and she's the reason of your everyday living 🙂

[Alice2398]

@TonyMetal86 thats so sweet but I work with all men and constantly have clean up after them or the place would be disgusting and make them tea and I never get any thanks, instead they have the cheek to call me lazy and tell me off for taking their bins to empty. They are so rude and ungrateful when I'm trying to keep on top of my jobs whilst looking after them. They hardly ever offer to help and ignore me when I need them. a lot of young men have no idea how to treat women unfortunately and I doubt I'd ever be so lucky to have a man who appreciates me for the rest of my life that's called being "high maintenance" these day to most young man.

[TonyMetal86]

And that's why miss alice more women are becoming feminists and the world is changing to the worst everyday that passes by, it's because of these actions and such males "don't call them men" because real men aren't like that, they are just bunch of males and males can be found in all kinds of species...

A lady like you is a true princess, many people don't realize what they had until they lose it or when it's too late...

The simplest thing a man can do to you when you treat him like this, is to always keep you hugged, feeling safe and always be there for you, because girls like you are rare these days, he won't walk on the streets and find women like you, just like rare diamonds which are priceless and rarely to find...

Don't lose hope, i wish that you meet the man who really deserves you someday.

[Alice2398]

@TonyMetal86 thanks 😊

[TonyMetal86]

Your welcome 🙂

[yougurt]

Thank you! This is what I think too. I hate when people talk about "helping" the wife like it's her job and the husband is doing a great favor.

[Monalisamaryangela]

Same as when people say they're babysitting THEIR OWN CHILDREN. No! That's called PARENTING!

[Anonymous]

*eats popocron*
Don’t mind me, I’m just waiting for the haters to appear.

[Giggletr0n]

Ran out of popcorn yet?

[Pejtu]

girls -you got the looks you can have everything u dont even need to learn anything
guys- handsome tall intimidating guy can have everything also the same as hot girl

now the ugly people or below avarage - u are fucked untill you die basically , im brutally honest but thats how the world works these days

[TonyMetal86]

I do nothing at home and will do nothing in the future since my wife will be a housewife... she has her role at home and i have mine outside...

When bith works outside, i think that it shall be 50/50 at home...

I'm not this type of men.

[Pinay_ako]

Short but a home run! <3

[TonyBologna25]

I pay for the food, the mortgage, the utilities, and pretty much everything... the least she can do is make meals and upkeep the place.

[Kiran04]

Only simpletons measure a partnership in household chores. That's a meager fraction of what a home and relationship is. May as well measure a car by the paint job.

[TonyMetal86]

@TonyBologna25 well said...

[TonyBologna25]

I really don’t know how this is getting downvoted. I literally pay for everything and she can’t make dinner considering I’m working all the time so I can continue to pay for everything? Fuck that lol. The woman in this scenario should contribute at least something.

[TonyMetal86]

Kick her ass out, for sure you don't need statues at home, at least statues cost you once and not daily.

[TonyBologna25]

@TonyMetal86 Yeah that’s not the scenario with my woman at all. She helps out and is a great cook. Makes me feel like a king. Just addressing all of these girls downvoting me.

[TonyMetal86]

The ones who are downvoting you are surely feminazis

[bamesjond0069]

Hey, as long as she is the one who grabs a gun and goes down in the dark if we hear a noise at night, mows the lawn and pays half the bills then of course i would wash my plates. Otherwise her ass better be in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

These are the men whose mothers cleaned everything for them and now they want their wives to do the same

[RetroAlpha]

Let's praise this post. Excellent!

[ChgzDaniel]

Can you come clean my house too?

[Kinsey]

I love this!

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Well said.

[John_Doesnt]

I like my women like a like my coffee: quiet.

[ChocolateCheesecake]

Awesome

[TonyMetal86]

No one can beat you in baking pies miss grapefruit cheesy cake 😄

[ChocolateCheesecake]

@TonyMetal86 lmao

[The_Revolver]

I also don't help my wife