I start off with stating that I have not written this myTake, at least not all of it.
This started out as an answer on one of my questions by fellow G@ger @Kakella.
We kept discussing it in private and I found the whole thing interesting, and we agreed to post it as a myTake.
Being the person of interest, we agreed for me to publish it and comment it - he agreed for me to post this, to make it clear.
I'm not a professional or a psychologist, but seven years married and five growing up a daughter make good references. - @Kakella
So, let's begin.
"Basically you are living a three way relationship, with your girlfriend and your sister.
I'm not implying any incest subtext or some poli crap, I'm just saying you three make up your little intimate and family reality."
Your sister
"She raised you and is really close to you, and it's clear she still wants to steer your life in the direction she desires.
I picture you two grew up pretty lonely and relied on each other for support. Especially for her, you were something to look for and nurture, even by forbidding you to make friends and get girlfriends.
She's deathly afraid you'll get away from her. You are the product of her love and care over the years, love and care that even got suffocating and greatly conditioned your approach to women, love and sex. Even if she didn't bore you biologically, she developed that "womb feeling" all maternity figures develop.
Now she sees you are living your own life and enjoy the popularity she shielded you from, and this scares her."
Your girlfriend
"Judging from what you shared, I picture a deeply insecure, traumatized woman who's trying to "reinvent" herself, after a very unhappy past.
You are her ticket for her dream and happiness and when she "freaks out" it's because your actions are snapping her out that dream.
She can't take it. She's investing so much in this world she built she'll not allow anyone to interfere, not even you.
We come to her states of agitation and psychosexual overtures. You and most people there label her as selfish. She's not.
She's actually a pretty giving woman in certain terms, because she has this need to give.
You said she has little material requests.
That's because her mind wraps on two things: if she gives to you, you'll give her the love and attention she craves and keep her happyness dream alive.
Second: she knows she has mental issues. She's aware of it.
She compensantes because she knows that when she'll give in to her obsessions and have a meltdown, you'll remember how she usually is and will forgive her more easily. This need of being loved, accepted and in charge make their way in your sex life. It's an animal thing, and in her mind she pictures it as the most efficient way to make you hers."
The relationship they have
"It's a love-rivalry thing in my opinion.
They are best friends and click on everything, but you mentioned they argue among themselves and make up just as quickly.
Two females and a male in a house: the two females try to assert their dominance on the other and be the "alpha female", the male's favorite one. They need to mark their territory and establish a hierarchy.
Again, I don't think and I don't imply any sexual or incest subtext from your sister. It's just raw instinct that acts there.
Finally, when they see you act in a way that doesn't please them or there's a risk real or imagined that you might get distant from them, they quickly ally to prevent that.
You make up the nexus of their world.
You are the big man they want to take care of them, the dream husband and little brother they want to love and cherish. You are building your life and they want to jump on the wagon."
Finally, you.
"You have issues too. First, you have no issue posting about every little thing it happens to you here. It's like it's a continuation of the journal your kept.
Second, you communicate very little with people in your actual life and find it easier to share here to complete strangers. Maybe it's because you can easily shrug off judgements here?
Third, you try to project a strong, gruff and manly image by smoking cigars, drinking, working hard, play betting card games and dressing in suits.
But you are actually a really delicate and timid individual outside of your comfort zones. You bury yourself in work and projects because you do well in them, people listen to you and and you don't have to deal with your latent fear of love, intimate talk and contact."
I admit this is really making me think. I can't even formulate comments right now, but it was really stimulating reading it. It's pretty strong and will probably keep me awake.
Thank you, @Kakella.
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