My standards for a potential SO. Wow, this got really long.

Me with no head. Yeah it isn't my best picture but I don't take pictures very often and this is what I could find.
Me with no head. Yeah it isn't my best picture but I don't take pictures very often and this is what I could find.

When considering being with someone I only consider them for long term so my standards are quite high. I'm not sure if I'll ever even be able to find someone that is good enough.

1. Not a recreational drug use

I don't want someone that uses drugs or has used drugs. They prioritize drugs above others, can't be trusted, are irresponsible, will have bad health problems later on or die in their 50s, and she will damage her eggs which can damage all future potential kids.

2. Doesn't drink alcohol.

I don't drink alcohol and I expect a partner to not drink either. I don't want any excuses that they did something bad while drinking so it isn't their fault. BS. They made the choice to drink and are responsible for their actions.

3. No promiscuous people.

If she has done hook ups/ONS/FWB I think it is immoral and gross. I also don't believe that people that do that could be faithful long term. Sex with someone like that wouldn't be special because they could do it without an emotional attachment.

4. Not friends with any ex.

Unless they have kids with someone, there is no legitimate reason why they need to have any contact with any of their exes. People that stay friends with an ex are just keeping them around as a back up plan. Plus whenever they have a disagreement in their relationship they go to their ex to be comforted and end up cheating. (I already consider that emotional cheating)

5. She needs to contribute.

I'm not an ATM. Women can work and should contribute to a relationship just like the man does. She should contribute to the family/home and not expect everything to be handed to her by her SO. First date we pay our own way, then after that we can take turns. I won't pay for her until she has done it for me first. If they insist I pay I would just leave because she would just be another common greedy gold digger that is easily replaced.

6. Housework is divided up based on how much we work a job.

If I work twice as many hours at work I certainly am not going to be doing an equal amount of work at home as someone that sits around for half the day doing nothing. I want equal or close to equal contribution in effort.

7. She needs to initiate stuff too.

I want to be hugged by her just as much as she wants it. Same with other stuff too. I shouldn't have to feel like I am unwanted, which is exactly how I feel if I always have to be the one to initiate things.

8. I want handmade gifts and special gestures.

My feelings matter too. I also want to feel like I am special to her. Girls aren't the only ones that need to feel cared about. And a last minute store bought gift that I don't even like that she saw advertised on TV telling her I should like it isn't a good gift.

9. I want a family.

I can only be with someone if she also wants a family/kids. It is very important to me. And I want to spend time with them too. I don't want to be one of those dads that is just an ATM to their kids where he only provides money and the mother gets to spend time together with them during all their special events. I want to get to be there for their life events, school events, to have a family game day/night each week, teach them things, etc. I don't want to be excluded from my future kids' lives just because I am the man.

10. Disagreements need to be private.

If there ever are disagreements, they should remain between the two of us until we solve them. It shouldn't be about complaining to others to see who can get more people to side with them. It shouldn't be about who "wins" an argument. It should be about doing what is good for the relationship/family/etc. and possibly compromising sometimes on certain things if need be.

11. I want more than just physical attraction.

Yes, I need to be attracted to her, but I want more than that from a relationship. I don't want all of our time together to be only sexual. I want to talk about stuff, I want to share common interests/hobbies, I want to have compatible life goals. I would really like to have a girl that is into some sort of gaming. Board games, Table Top RPGs, Card games like MTG, video games, something like that. Those are my favorite hobbies and sharing them, even one of those with someone would make time spent together so much more interesting.

12. As far as work goes.

I want someone that has a respectable job. No internet cam girl whores, nobody that has an annoying calling job that harasses people all day aggravating them. And their job should be something where they get to come home to me and our family each day, so no traveling jobs or on call jobs like doctors or stewardesses or military.

13. Not a feminist.

I don't want someone that is unfair to men, is against men's fair treatment under the law, etc.

So those are many, but not all of my standards. I myself live up to all of those I listed though I doubt I could find someone that will meet those standards.

As far as physical stuff, They need to be White, Hispanic, Asian, or some mix of those. Between 4' 9" to 5' 10" but 5' to 5' 4" would be much more desirable. Petite build is my favorite (short, skinny, small breasts), but athletic is my second favorite and just slim is alright. I would say average is fine, but these days average somehow means 50 pounds overweight. They need a face that is attractive to me (Highly subjective. Some I find the most attractive are only average to others and some that many others think are 9s or 10s are average or below average to me). No tattoos or very little. The more they have the less attracted to them I am.

So how do I measure up physically? I am White, 6' tall, strong/lift weights, 265 pounds, Dark brown slicked back hair, no tattoos, attractive face (I won't show it on this site to all my haters), and I have a deep voice. I know it's a big surprise I'm not actually a green troll like my profile picture. :P

How I sound:

I started this as an answer to someone's question about high standards but it ended up too long so I made it a MyTake.

My standards for a potential SO. Wow, this got really long.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Commander_Red
    Hey, so yeah, I'm totally with you about having high standards because I too only seek long term/serious relationships.

    I feel like nowadays, most people want something quick and easy and when they get bored, they'll just look for the next person. It's really hard to find someone serious because most people want something casual, and I've even had some men trick into thinking they wanted the same thing so I'm always wary about men I date. I'll totally dump any guy who wants to have sex too soon because unless I know they're serious for sure, I'm letting them put that thing anywhere near me.

    However, I do think for some of these things, you should lighten up on or have an open mind.

    3. No promiscuous people -- Sorry but I have to ask, have you had sex with any prominscous people because I've met men who want a pure girl or a girl who isn't a slut yet they themselves are. If you aren't, feel free to ignore this.

    4. Not friends with any ex. -- I feel like this is a gray area because I'm still "friends" with my ex but know I would never have sex with him. He just happens to have connections. But again, it depends how close they are. If they're too close, then yeah, maybe I'd want to draw the line.

    13. Not a feminist -- Okay so that's basically majority of the female population already and you already have high standards. But I think you have a pre-concepted view of feminists. I'm a feminist but I agree that men and women are equal. I don't agree with women who say men are inferior. Honestly, I think you should just ask the girl what he views on gender equality are, instead of letting a title automatically do that for you. Because the root definition of feminism IS men and women equality. The group just has shitty people in it (like every other group of people).

    "As far as physical stuff, They need to be White, Hispanic, Asian, or some mix of those." -- So is this a demand or a preference because it sounds like a demand. Because I'm Hispanic but I have a strong attraction to Asians but I don't say that I NEED Asians 😂

    Sorry, I was an English major so I'm a bit picky with words.

    Also, you look and sound fine. Good luck 😄
    Is this still revelant?
    • *not letting them

    • And sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it's early morning and I'm using my phone here šŸ˜­

    • Maybe you missed this part: "So those are many, but not all of my standards. I myself live up to all of those I listed though I doubt I could find someone that will meet those standards."
      No, I have never been promiscuous. I've never done hook ups/ONS/FWB.

      The race part, should I just put I won't be with certain races? I'll just get called racist and have complaints. There are some types of people that I have never been attracted to my whole life and have no interest in at all. I thought it sounds better to say what I do want instead of pointing out certain groups that are totally undesirable to me.

      And since feminists have never did anything for men's rights, I will continue to consider them as sexist man haters and hypocrites.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • monkeynutts
    Buddy, drop down your strength training and work on leen muscle development. Personally if you want a woman to be all that and more expect to be on your knees kissing arse all the time. And start dating everyone any woman. Who cares what she does, you don't have to jump in the sack with them.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • el_Te_de_la_Rosa
    Buff is awesome. Keep lifting please!
    Do you smoke?
    I can't find anyone to play board games with at home. How about Escape Room? (I'm not good at it, but these kinds of games are my fav.)
    Well, I think I can only draw a portait of you haha.
    • No, I don't smoke, do you?
      I've never played Escape Room, but it looks interesting. The games that I do like are Catan, Clue, Stratego, Clash of Cards, Skrimmish, Risk (Starcraft edition), One Deck Dungeon, Aggravation, Battleship, UNO, Betrayal at House on the Hill, Welcome to the Dungeon, Armadora, Castle Panic, Connect 4, and other games like those. Have you played any of those ones?

    • Only UNO that I know šŸ˜…. I will try other games you mentioned. Just finshed Tiny Room (unity).

      by the way, I don't smoke.

    • My favorite one is Catan. There are videos of some of those games on YouTube.

    • Show All
  • JessieMartins
    If you expect each and everyome of these than you'll never find someone
    • Why? Because nobody else is a good caring person except me? Nobody can resist being promiscuous, selfish, or a drunk/druggie party person?

      I know these are difficult to find in someone, even though I have all of those qualities myself and more, but I hope not everyone is such a terrible person with bad morals that it makes it impossible to find a good compatible person.

  • Dav1ss
    I'm almost all of these exexpt I'm too scared to initiate stuff
    • Ever?

    • Dav1ss

      No but a lot of the time also my ex called me a slut. I dont think its true tbh

    • Dav1ss

      I intitate stuff rarely

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  • DollySummers
    Sorry. Iā€™m way out of that. I want a little liquor sometimes.
  • uglycarrot
    I have almost the exact same standards. Fun.
  • Ms_Dijahlove
    You've got a point! Its totally fair.
  • Emily2375
    Your standard are reasonable
  • alice55
    Seem pretty reasonable except the gift stuff.
    • What is wrong with the gift stuff specifically?

    • alice55

      If a woman said that everyone would jump on her saying she's a gold digger so I don't see how can a man think it's ok to ask for that in a relationship.
      If someone enter a relationship wanting gift then they don't enter a relationship for a good reasons.

    • I said I like hand made thoughtful gifts, not expensive store bought stuff. That is totally different. Like I would want a hand decorated photo album for an anniversary with pictures of stuff we did together over that time. Something like that.

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