The fatality of long distance relationships (5 things you should know)

[DiegoO]

PART#1. THE FATALITY OF LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

This MyTake may not be liked for obvious reasons, related to the pandemic. I must say it's tough for me to publish it and question everything I felt during a LDR (Long Distance Relationship) I experienced myself, however the "truth is rarely pure and never simple". Oscar Wilde couldn't have say it better, therefore the only truth of this MyTake is what I experienced and what I learned from the experience.

Long distance relationships are now part of our life. There are those that are LD from the beginning, and others that due to external motives were push to become LD, like in the case of couples who for X or Y motives had to separate and live in different states or countries for a known or unknown amount of time. I only will be covering the first, those LDR that were LD from the start. Is what I lived and is what I am going to write about.

Whoever passed trough a LDR without previously having a physical relation, knows how challenging it is to maintain a relation of that nature, afloat. It's mentally exhausting after a few months and a persistent clueless effort of how to close the gap imposed by Km apart. Since it's a complicated topic, which can be approach several ways, I am gonna short it up to:

5 things you should know from The fatality of Long Distance Relationships:

1. A Long Distance Relationship will never aloud you to know someone with the same depth you would know someone in person.

It sounds ridiculously obvious, and I mean, you can't go against that. Text messages, phone calls, video calls, pictures and recorded videos are used in LD relations. That technology can only permit you to have a hint of who you have chosen as a partner. We need all our senses to not only have a hint, but a certainty also to know who we choose. Certainty is not a word you can apply to a LDR.

2. A Long Distance Relationship makes you vulnerable to a pile of preconceptions:

Preconceptions can be harmless, not so when we are referring to Long Distance Relationships. By having a LDR we drop easy in preconceptions we create and in preconceptions made up by our LD partner, which means a feed back of false expectations appear, expectations unrelated to reality but close to our desires, those desires that we haven't fulfilled in what we call the real world. Only that combination of preconceptions and expectations can be problematic. It leads slowly to a verge of deception.

IT WILL CONTINUE...

[OlderAndWiser]

I concur. I understand that some established relationships Missy sometimes endure s temporary separation. However, I would never encourage anyone to begin a relationship at a distance.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[TrustMeIGotThis]

Personally, I don't agree. While LDR's might not be possible for some, I think it very much is possible for those willing to put the effort in. My boyfriend and I began dating in high school and we now go to college six hours away from each other. Aside from the fact we don't see each other aside from every couple of months (summer excluded), it has honestly allowed us to grow in independence and trust. In order for a LDR to work, your entire relationship has to be a) constructed around trust and b) established before the distance became a thing. He's my best friend. Six hours haven't changed that for me.

[DiegoO]

"There are those that are LD from the beginning, and others that due to external motives were pushed to become LDR, like in the case of couples who for X or Y motives had to separate and live in different states or countries for a known or unknown amount of time. I only will be covering the first, those LDR that was LD from the start. Is what I lived and is what I am going to write about".

I never developed the topic around the type of LDR you described.

[TrustMeIGotThis]

Ah, that makes more sense. Thank you for the clarification.

[1truekhaleesi]

I don't think I could be in a long distance relationship from the beginning. I even remember a guy that I was talking to over a year ago say that he felt different about me in person. He swore that it was my fault and that I'm a different person in person. I don't think he was either of our faults.

[DiegoO]

It happens. I mean, I was skeptical before starting the LDR I was in. I remember telling my LD ex to let's only be friends and start something once we see each other in person, but she was like "let's have a relationship or nothing". I finally agreed with her. We lived what we lived, and a few years after we ended, I understand completely how unpractical a LDR is, and how unpractical it is to even meet someone (you "know" online) in person, for romantic or none romantic reasons.

[DiegoO]

The latter I came to understand after reading a lot of anecdotes of people who have met each other in person, after having a relationship online (romantic, friendship relation).

[1truekhaleesi]

I agree. I think we're too different and I should've seen it earlier. He's uncomfortable with silence while I am. We actually got into an argument about it because I said that constantly talking isn't always communicating. I can sit in total silence with my boyfriend and not feel uncomfortable.

[DiegoO]

That's the thing with LDR, there is half a truth in it, or less than that. We want to believe is everything we need to know, and once the distance is closed, reality shows us what is what.

[SarahsSummer]

I actually think LDR's make you vulnerable to MISconceptions.

[DiegoO]

I was gonna add that one. Good point.

[SarahsSummer]

I'm not aware of any "preconceptions" those in LDR's exhibit.

[DiegoO]

I mention preconceptions since there are stuff in a LDR you will never surely know from an online relation, and that generate preconceptions. Those appear to fill the gaps. For instance, I have this preconception that an online acquaintance likes to make exercise, without really knowing if she practice any exercise or sport, at all, just because last time I saw her she was slim. I also have the preconception that she likes to use a lot of perfume, again, without knowing if it's true. A misconception would be if I knew she practiced a sport, and if I believed she is good at it.

[akanetuk]

Long distance relationship is best for couples who are steadfast

[menina]

That's all true and unfortunately I've experienced the things you mentioned.

[Browneye57]

"Long distance relationships are now part of our life"
I quit reading here. Uh, no, they're not. Do a LDR at your peril.

[DiegoO]

"Truth is rarely pure and never simple. Oscar Wilde couldn't have say it better, therefore the only truth of this MyTake is what I experienced and what I learned from the experience".

I tought it was clear.

[Browneye57]

Perhaps it was. I skipped it for an early false statement - LDR's are NOT now a part of our life. Unless YOU make them. in my opinion you're wasting your time.

[DiegoO]

Read all I wrote, don't judge so fast.

[legalboxers]

I've been in many LDRs. They work if you have faith and are loyal.

[Secret6620]

GREAT Take (◍•ᴗ•◍)

[DiegoO]

Thanks! Please check PART#2 for a complete review:

PART#2. THE FATALITY OF LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS (5 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW). ↗

[Jamie05rhs]

I definitely agree with point #1.

[BillysBabe]

Interesting

[DiegoO]

Thanks.