Long Distance Relationships: What You Have to Know

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone! It's my first MyTake so I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Being myself in a long distance relationship (I'll just call it a ldr), my boyfriend (who's not on the gag app) and I are going to share some things with you.

Disadvantages:

Because saying a ldr is all great and pink would be a lie...

1) No physical interactions: it sounds pretty obvious but no hugs, no kisses and everything else. It can be very hard at times!

2) Wifi struggle: It's not the case for everyone who's in a ldr but sometimes, without wifi, no talking.

3) Lack of communication: not saying your SO when you're upset can lead to a failed relationship.

4) Limited gift ideas: if, like in my case, you SO doesn't receive your parcels, you have to be extremely creative (because you can't send a video montage for every birthday/anniversary).

5) Risky relationship: If your SO is hundred miles away from you, he/she can easily hides things from you. That's a risk to take though...

6) Sadness: a ldr will bring a lot of sad moments when you will miss your SO... a lot.

Advantages:

Yes, it also has advantages, I promise!

1) Com-mu-ni-ca-tion: Again ! Because in a ldr, you can't just invite your SO and stay on the couch watching movies the whole day. So in order to work, a ldr is a lot (lot lot lot) of talking. Which means it's a great way to know each other better and faster than no-long-distance-couples.

2) The meeting is amazing: waiting a few months (or even years!) to meet your SO? It sounds terrible but when you finally meet each other, it's a moment of pure happiness and emotions (if you don't believe me, check some videos of long distance couples meeting for the first time. There are many on youtube! Here's one:)

3) Less chances of break up: if you succeeded to go through hard times, far away from your SO, the chances of break up once you're finally together are lower since you went through a tough test. (Though there are couples who realize they can't live together but... anyway).

4) More economical (my boyfriend's idea :')): Of course, a ldr doesn't need as much restaurant/cinema/any other date than a normal relationship. (he's also reminding you that there are less chances of pregnancy :') I love him :'))

5) Almost being single: I put that in the advantages because you have a lot of advantages that single people have, and still are in a relationship. For instance, you have more time for yourself. And you have your own space (guys: your girlfriend isn't here to complain about all dirty socks in the bedroom. Girls: your boyfriend won't complain if you paint your nails with the window closed!)

6) Small attentions feel like great presents: receiving even just a letter might feel like a diamond ring.

For a better/funnier ldr:

With time and experience, you find out that a ldr isn't as limited as you think. Here are some things you can do:

1) Games: common but fun. Many phone games can be played with friends all over the world, hence with your SO as well.

2) Doing things together: for instance sleeping, watching a movie or having a romantic meal. Just use Skype or any video calling app and you can sleep with your SO, eat with him/her or even watch a movie (even though it's harder because you have to put the movie on a laptop/TV and place the camera of your phone towards the movie. It might be a bit complicated.)

3) Ldr apps: there are tons of apps for ldr or even just couples. I'll give you my favorites:

- Couple: it's a great, great app with many fun features. It's very customizable as well. Some features I like are live sketch: you can draw in live with your SO!

- Thumbkiss: if you both touch the screen at the same place for a few seconds, your phone will vibrate.

- Happy couple: it's a fun app which asks questions about you and your partner. The purpose is to see if you know your SO as much as you think ;p

In conclusion, ldr do have a lot of disadvantages for sure, but they're also full of great moments!

That's it for this MyTake, I hope you enjoye it and found it useful!

[Wolframium]

Heh. :-D If you even knew…
I've listening one song which ties up to beginning of my first relationship. 400 km, about 6 hours of total travel time, becuase…long story.
Never again. Waiting to see her was insane. In the beginning, it was about 2 months.
Then…we saw each other. And do the couple things. Cocain ain't got shit on that. Not that I've tried.
And then I get home. I spend about 5 hour on the bus (and 1 hour in waitings). I feel miserable beyond measure. I don't want to be on that fuckin' bus, I want to be there, with her. And I cannot even emotionally collapse, because…I'm on a fuckin' bus. People everywhere.
So I get home, and…everything is suddenly empty. Like…what am I even doing with my life here? This is pointless. Nothing has any meaning anymore.
I had to quit my summer job because of it.
And if something serious happens and she decides that answering me is beneath her, then…I'm just fucked.

So. Never EVER again. Been there, done that. You takling about advantages, from my point, there are none.

Simple math speaks against it as well. Happy and good moments? Minimum. Desert of lonelyness? Waaaayyyy more.

Anyway. IT note on the end. In that picture of them being on probably Skype, not able to hear/see each other: do you know why? Because you don't use cable, but stupid, unreliable wireless.

[myTake Owner]

Well I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, as I mentioned, yes, people in a ldr do have moments of sadness and emotional breakdown but the most important is to keep faith, this situation won't last! Anyway, I hope it will get better for you ❤

[Wolframium]

Don't be, if we would be closer, it would crashed and burned faster.
And every time I see that map in the pic, I see nuclear missiles. :-D

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Good points! LDR is a very modern option for dating (hundreds years ago if you're introverted and withdrawn from society your option is to discover new laws of physics and die a virgin). LDR comes with new exciting possibilities and challenges, I'd like to think of it as a new extra phase for dating, because from what I've seen, successful LDRs are typically only temporary, and the couple eventually meet and date normally.

I also really like that it's basically dating someone while almost being single! so you can date multiple people at once, so if you're attractive you have a lot more options (jk 😂)

[Marrry]

I tried it. He went out with w/o men behind my back had sex calls with other women searched at tinder 24 7 for dates and lied to me the whole time he wants to stay alone and there is noone. Of course in the end I found out everything but what is the meaning? who knows how many more lies he said. And I used to trust him with my life. Go figure... Now he dates. we didn't talk for one and half month and after a month of the last time we talked he dated. No need to say here that I feel terrible for trusting him

[myTake Owner]

It happens unfortunately, all you can do in a ldr is hope and trust but sometimes, it doesn't work :\

[Marrry]

I know now yes and I avoid these relatioships

[MittenstheGlove]

That was a very well written post. I just have a problem in which I need physical contact. I don’t recommend them personally but if you can do it fine.

[myTake Owner]

Well yes not everyone can handle a ldr but anyway it's a temporary situation generally 😅

[RayBandz]

I'd like to think of it as a new extra phase for dating, because from what I've seen, successful LDRs are typically only temporary, and the couple eventually meet and date normally.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that's every ldr's goal generally 😂

[lilacs]

LDRs are actually flat out stupid. You can match up with AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE in this entire WORLD. Why choose someone far from you and yet... ONLINE?

[myTake Owner]

But ldrs aren't always two people meeting online. A couple can be in a ldr because of studies or work and still have met each other irl

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Sometimes the person that I could connect to the most is from the other side of the planet, LDRs are for the people who favor nonphysical connections (and serial cheaters)

[ronaldo75]

Stupid? How so? Are you American or suburban or something? I've been in very deep friendships and even relationships with people from countries where the people I meet have NO ONE who has the same interests as them. For example I was in an LDR with a girl from Egypt who was a metalhead and had to HIDE IT out of fear of death because she was literally convinced her father would kill her and in Cairo metalheads are routinely beaten on the street. So she goes online to talk to people in other countries.

Your comment was very closeminded and judgmental.

[Browneye57]

It's a fail honey. Sorry.
Stats are 90 days and one or the other finds someone else. You're wasting your precious time and energy.

[myTake Owner]

But some couples succeed to go through a ldr more than 90 days. I'm in a ldr since 1 year and 3 months

[cookiiee]

My brothers girlfriend went to college, and he was working in Germany for couple of years. They saw each other every once in a while, summer breaks, winter breaks, one day surprises. Happy to say they have been married for 10 years now and seem to get along very well

[myTake Owner]

That's every ldr goal and great to hear 😁

[Browneye57]

@cookiiee - That's not what I call a LDR. in my opinion it's when you NEVER see the other, like pen-pals. If there's never a consummation of the relationship then it's not really one.
Everybody wants to word-smith, but a romantic relationship where you're apart temporarily is a different animal.

[cookiiee]

@Browneye57 how is that not a LDR, they used to spent months apart, about 1000 kilometers away from each other, in 2000's, with only black and white phones that had expensive long distance calls. Anyways don't give up gurl. Do whateva u want

[Browneye57]

@cookiiee Yeah, it was dumb then too. Oh well.

[Lovi87]

funny, because me and my other half are in an LDR, and it's been almost 8 years now. We weren't going to meet a first which is why it's lasted as long as it has, plus none of us has had any money to travel etc... but we're now able to plan it. And soon.

[Browneye57]

@Lovi87 - Consider dating someone you can actually SEE and BE WITH - you'll get a LOT more out of it, I promise. That's just not a 'relationship'. I would be like buying a car and parking it at the dealership and never driving it. Not my idea of fun or pleasure. Oh well.

[Browneye57]

*... It would be...

[Lovi87]

You know nothing about me and my fella.

[Browneye57]

@Lovi87 - I don't need to tootsie. This isn't about you and your 'fella'. LOL But you keep wanting to make it so.

[Lovi87]

Ah stfu, old man. Get a life.

[TheWalkingDuck]

Oh god, it sucks ass. I miss my lovely pet husky, Issac, he’s one of a kind and he lives with my brother in Arkansas. I live in Canada so it’s hard man. I miss him so so much.

[ChloeStarfire]

I just got out of a long distance relationship after being with him for a month

[myTake Owner]

Unfortunately, not all of them work. But it's just like normal relationship, some work and some don't. I hope you'll be alright though and I'm here for you if you need support ❤

[ChloeStarfire]

Thanks, I’m ok we came to an agreement that breaking up is what’s best

[Grayout]

Been in 2. Lesson I painfully learned-- If you don't see each other in the first few months, one is gonna cave in and fuck the nearest thing possible, and make the other feel like shit for getting hurt. Fuck ldrs

[Miristheiss]

LDR?

Please, I'd never waste my time on crap like that.

[Lance1965]

It is not a relationship till you are physically with the person. Calling it an relationship is your first mistake. I don't know the stats on this but I would guess 95% of LDR's go nowhere.

[Guanfei]

First thing to know is that they almost always fail. Yes, some succeed, but the big majority fail.
If you can avoid it, do it, you'll avoid a lot of problems that way.

[Skateranon]

I'm in a long distance relationship and so far it's going great sure it's not for everyone but me and my girlfriend have found things that work for us.

[Lovi87]

Congratulations and I wish you all the best for both of you.

[RIVERTAY888]

l love all of your take l more than understand every word you have said thanks

[ATuairiscean]

Some good ideas there

[xkildy]

I would love to try one. Someday

[Mikhania]

I am so agree with this!

[PetrovaFire92]

I think it can work if you have money to travel

[legalboxers]

I been in many LDRs.. Im ok with it

[ateequeyaqoob]

Headache

[myTake Owner]

You should take a medication then 😛

[Secretgardenblood]

Good take

[Montana07]

Awesome and true