There is no Benefit to "Friends with Benefits" (Page 2)

[Alpha09]

The majority of the population cannot handle this type of relationship, so in that sense you are correct. This article holds some assumptions, but all in all I'd say it applies to the majority of monogamous minded individuals. Those of us who enjoy and look for these types of friends with benefits or poly relationships are another descussion.

[prince350]

Yes, but the whole 'I demand we be exclusive' thing is usually a bargain enforced by the party offering less - typically a woman, but also a 'clingy' man.
If you want the right for women to always be allowed to keep the person they catch - you must advocate the same for the clingy guy.

[Ozanne]

To quote a late friend of mine: "The person who loves the least, has the most power."

If someone is willing to take what they can get, they will agree to what the other person wants just to have them -- some way. Even if they have to lie in order to make the person believe they're not really that clingy.

Person 1: "It's cool if we have sex and that's it, right?"
Person 2: "Yeah, phht. 'Course." (secretly wishes for more)
Person 1: "So you won't be telling anyone I'm your boy/girlfriend, right?"
Person 2: "Psshh.. 'course not. Totally cool. Just sex." (secretly wishes for more)
Person 1: "Okay." (convinced that the other person is in agreement)
Person 2: "Okay." (not in agreement - just want to be with them in any way possible, so agrees to get them into position to be that person.)

[prince350]

You can be that cynical, but it isn't that simple.
People notice, people talk.
I deal (suffer) predominantly with women whose heads are so thick there is no way to get it across to them just sex doesn't so much for me.
For some reason, the wannabees of this world - who on top of it think they are somehow an elite, rather than poor scum - are convinced screwing around gives you social superiority (instead of, for instance, yeast infections, as it does)
Maybe it is the TV working hard to enlarge your insecurity so they can then sell you products or services that will remove the undesirability they just created.
If I look around, there are plenty of women I'd be happy to settle down with - it's just that they are all SO freaked out by what they believe they lack, and so preoccupied with pretending they do have it - they have no time to register I am interested in the person, minus the tv-or-societty-imposed-necessities-for-a-simple-feeling-of-adequacy

Durex promotes sexual variety and amount - for obvious sales reasons. It's visible to me - for some reason, EVERYONE else swallowed the bait and if busy distressing, panicking over it (their 'obvious' inadequacy - from not having a million in the bank to having a few extra hairs to not smiling perfectly etc)

[Anonymous]

And like it says in "Woman to Women" (free from kobo books), women are wired to fall in love with the person they're having such an intense personal connection with (generally speaking). So something that starts out as just convenient sex could become very complicated, especially when the other person doesn't develop the same feelings for her.

[Anonymous]

I had a friends with benefits before and it didn't last long, wasn't because of what you said though, it was because we both wanted casual sex and agreed to have sex with each other and that's it, it wasn't that we were long term friends or anything but mostly I just call what we had was a small fling tbh rather than anything else

[Syrian_survivor]

Personally I can't see myself getting replaced with someone my ex-partner sees as more important, more serious, closer, and provides everything I used to give and more, no matter if I saw her as a romantic partner from my side or just someone I could get sex from, maybe it's my ego or my backbone, not sure

Which is why I'd never engage in such relationships

[Nazgol]

Good point. This is exactly what I had, but I really fell for him. He didn't want anything more than casual sex and said that we had to date if I want something more, but he never asked for date. It shattered me into million pieces. I dont think we were even really friends with benefit, as friends with benefits has much more connection and friendship in it. All in all all these "hookups" are cruel

[Nazgol]

I totally regret even agreeing to have casual sex with this guy and can't believe how much I was fooling myself and believing that maybe "one day" we'll be together. It happens a while ago when I was younger but still affects me to this day... at least now I'm glad I know better and learned my lesson that this is NOT for me

[Nazgol]

*it happened

[Nazgol]

It just hurts a lot... I dont know why people do this to themselves and why did it ever become "normal" and ok

[AFellowWeeb]

''Note how the sex often will stop after one person finds an actual relationship'' and this is the best case scenario, this is one of the biggest red flag i have for a girlfriend: if she had a friend that she used to fuck, thats not a friendship, thats a side-hoe/dick

[PrinceNeo]

Well Friends with benefits actually does have benefits to it if you're doing it right however if you're just being f***** buddies then that's something different. Friends with benefits is more of likehey I'll f*** you and as a thank you for me being able to f*** you I'm going to give you something else in return like food, a place to stay, money for gas, etc. Or at least that's my experience of it.

[VanillaSalt]

I could use one of these my house can’t stay clean lmao

[TraceyByrd]

Friends with benefits is for dummy lames that have no idea wtf they want 💯 more like a waste of space 🙄 .

[eyelidsontheceiling]

There's a difference between sex and love, and in not all friends with benefits relationships is one trying to get more. Oh and aromantics exist. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[zagor]

I think you're wrong. I've known of a number of friends with benefits situations that aren't what you describe.

[FreyaRed]

You can't trust a person who shares intimacy with others.

[insatiable_curiosity]

Why is that? I feel that this is a false conclusion possibly from insecurity. For example, you trust your best friend even if he/she is intimate with his/her partner, right? You're intimate (not necessarily sexual) with family members. People can date multiple people, not having made commitments to a single person, and still be trusted since his/her word hasn't been broken.

[FreyaRed]

Share your intimate thoughts and feelings with whoever you want. Your family, your friends and girls who pump at least 20 types at the same time will be surely amused.

[kambo_trick3y]

You're a brave woman, people LOVE their Friends with Benefits on here.

[Feelicks]

K, well it works for two consenting adults it's not really any if business now is it?

[Ozanne]

That's very true... and then six months later, one of the consenting adults ends up on GaG and needs advice on what to do about the other person. ;)

[Feelicks]

n0pe

[Anonymous]

friends with benefits is not for everyone, and those who have issues with it should just not do it. But it is a great arrangement for two people who are both only interested in casual sex. Nothing wrong with it.

[Twalli]

Not all friends with benefits relationships start from friendships. They do what friends do and have sex. If friends routinely had sex with each other friends with benefits wouldn't exist.

[FriedPickles1218]

Didn't really read but I agree. Sex and relationships should be taken seriously; I've always hated the concept of Feb and casual sex...

[StickStickity13]

Nah, sometimes we don't want the drama that entails a relationship. We may enjoy each other's company and like sex.

[SavageGirl101]

people can fuck and still be friends that’s wht hookups are😹 shut up

[gandolph3]

you need to be friends first and always. sex is not ab every time you see each other thing. you need to be able to say no to the other. from what i have been reading most of todays friends with benefits are not that