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Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

This year was horrible for me. I know for many as well. But this year, was not the best. So I will explain in a way I only know how...

This song is playing in our house...

Our friends are over, despite this covid crap..

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

The table is set, the place settings are there. The food is in the oven. You look amazing in your dress. Your eyes really stand out in what you are wearing, regardless you saying you "hate dressing up" and look "bougie" , whatever the hell that means.

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

The tree is full.. presents under the tree.

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

I propose a toast. To your friends.. My friends. And especially you, to the person who got me through this hell. Who was there by my side, my soulmate my love, my person. The person who was by me through thick and thin, The most amazing woman who I am lucky enough to call my fiancee... My better half. My love. My mirror... Someone who I know who I would spend the end of time with, someone I know who would be with me through thick and thin...

But then I wake up...

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

I try and see through the fog.. the haze....

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.

I scream out you name. I shout.. I cry... You are not there anymore. You were nothing but a dream to me. A dream which I will try and hold on to. In my darkest times. To Try and take pieces of the good times, to shine the light when the days and nights are cold, to keep me warm at night. To know you were there when this whole world was falling apart. And to know your no longer there and I had to fight it by myself.

Merry Christmas.. Wherever you are...

Why did this holiday suck for me. And maybe a few years to come.
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