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What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships

What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships

You all keep asking what's happening to you? Why are you so angry all the time? What happened?

Well, you got it folks. I'm telling you what happened.

I got diagnosed with COPD, stage 2.

What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships

If any of you remembers, in the last year or so I talked about my problems with breathing and costant cough and pneumonias. Just my heavy smoking habit? No. Something more sh*tty that usually only older people should have decided to pick on me.

What it is?

The chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a disease of the respiratory system characterized by irreversible obstruction of the airways (bronchial ways and lungs).

Basically, the lungs are costantly inflammated, the airways harden up and an excessive production of mucus obstructs them, making it difficult to breath. It also damages irreversibly the whole apparate.

In the long term, the consequence of this pathological process is a real remodeling of the bronchi, which causes a consistent reduction in respiratory capacity (chronic obstructive bronchitis).

In layman's terms, the lungs slowly go to hell.

In the early stages, the illness is treated with breathers similar to those used by asthma sufferers, cough syrups and throat pills. In the later stages, stronger meds and artificial breathers are needed.

Other symptoms include:

  • Wheezing and chest tightness, especially after exertion;
  • Weight loss (also due to reduced appetite);
  • Morning headache (sign of nocturnal hypercapnia or hypoxemia);
  • Lack of energy;
  • Swelling in the ankles, feet or legs.

Some of you will remember about my disinterest in food - that's why.

Later stages are even more lovely.

  • Pneumothorax;
  • Pulmonary hypertension;
  • Frequent episodes of acute systemic decompensation;
  • Right heart failure;
  • Acute or chronic respiratory failure.


Big question now. Is COPD curable?

No. It's a terminal disease.

People with COPD who do not die from another condition will usually die from COPD.

Depending on the disease severity, the five-year life expectancy for people with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) ranges from 40%-70%. That means 40-70 out of 100 people will be alive after five years of diagnosis of COPD. COPD is a chronic, gradually progressing lung disease that is not completely curable.

What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships

Well f*ck.

The most optimistic life espectancy is between 10 and 15 years, depending on how the stages progress.

  • Mild (stage 1): chronic cough and sputum production is common. Respiratory function is slightly reduced.
  • Moderate (stage 2): disease characterized by a more consistent reduction in respiratory capacity and dyspnoea in case of exertion; both cough and bronchial secretions are frequent. It can take several weeks to recover from bronchitis or colds.
  • Severe (stage 3): coughing with bronchial secretions becomes more frequent and wheezing makes it impossible to perform some activities of normal daily life, such as walking and climbing stairs.
  • Very serious (stage 4): breathlessness is present even at rest and makes it impossible to carry out the simplest activities of normal daily life, such as eating, washing and dressing. Exacerbations become more frequent and more severe; the risk of hospitalization and death increases

I'm currently stage 2, and there's no clear prediction about when the illness will progress to stage 3 and then 4. It can take some years like it can take two months. And damn, I do feel this stage 2 lol. It's basically very painful and I need to catch my breath for almost every action that requires physical effort. I can barely run any more.

And I'm sorry, but this crap pisses me off to no end.

Most likely I won't reach 30. 35 surely no. So I am pissed off. Really, f*ck it. I wear the mask, I keep the social distance, I wash my hands and yet I'll still die painfully. Because this sh*t just decided to pop up. Damn, old people should get this. Not a 23 years old.

And then screw it all. SCREW YOU ALL.

You won't have anything more to worry about after Covid dies down.

What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships

Then, why care? Why marry or even stay with my fiancée, if she'll be a window by 2030, if not sooner? Why impregnate her, and have a kid who'll be an orphan? I joke she's an old woman because she's 26, but I think she's still young and should find someone with whom she can live many, many years together with.

And instead she stays. Taking all my pain, all my anger and my abuse.

Really, I can't even lol. LOL.

I can't even breathe.

What is COPD? Covid is not the only killer, of lives and relationships
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Most Helpful Guys

  • DJB72
    COPD sucks. It really does. I empathise. My lungs are permanently damaged by covid. I get why you're angry.

    After beating covid - just - last year I was left very weak, I lost at least 45lbs in 3 months, mostly muscle-mass because when you're in a coma that's what happens. My heart stopped. I had over 2 hours CPR to revive me. I made it. I was recovering.

    Then I had a flare up of an infection in my foot and because I was so weak the only option to save me was a below knee amputation.

    In rehab I was known as being the one everyone heard coming. Because I laughed.

    COPD definitely sucks. But you don't know if it'll be 5 minutes, 5 days or 5 decades before it progresses. All you know is you're here right now. Nobody is guaranteed more than this heartbeat. You can choose where you focus.

    You can focus on what you might not get if you die young. All the things you'll miss out on by not being here.

    Or you can see what you have right now. It sounds like you've got a girl who loves you. Why not marry her? Why not have a family? Give your child the unconditional love of a daddy for as long as you can.

    You can focus on your damaged lungs and how terrible it is. Just like I can focus on my stump and how you can't get a leg transplant so I'm forced to spend half my life in a wheelchair these days. While my son isn't 3 years old yet.

    Or I can laugh. It's a choice.

    I get on a garden trampoline with a toddler and fall on my ass because I can't balance on one leg on the surface. He thinks it's hilarious and we laugh together at daddy not being able to stand.

    You can rob yourself of the life you have left and die aged 30, a bitter and angry man. Or you can choose to really LIVE the time you have.

    You've been given a gift. Not the COPD. You are aware of how precious your life is because you know its going to end. Most guys aged 23 don't know that. Celebrate each day. Share your girlfriend's joy at being with you.

    I'm sorry you're sick. But giving up is a choice. I hope you realise that before it's too late.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Damn, I'm sorry about that. I really hope you are doing somewhat better those days.
      Thank you for sharing your experience and your kind words and encouragements, I really loved reading your answer and it's really making me feel better. Thank you.
      I'm sorry you had to go through all the pain and suffering, but I'm happy that you are having a good life and taking care of your son.
      He should be really proud of his dad!

    • DJB72

      Physical recovery takes time. I'm off my prosthetic for a few days at the moment because I pushed myself too hard and got blisters on the stump. Was a dumb thing, but it'll heal.

      I'm diabetic, so I don't heal as fast as I used to, but like I said, it's a choice how to deal with it. There's something that can be gained in everything you face. It's just a question of seeing it.

      Take each day as it comes and make the world face you on your terms. It's not always easy, but it's always a choice.

      Live well.

  • genericname85
    i have a COPD. had it for all my life. but with modern medication, i only notice that i have it, in the moment i'm taking the medication...

    so i am basically in the risk group for covid. and covid is certainly "not a joke". just like a flu is a serious deadly disease that is often confused with the common cold. still i'm not terribly worried about covid at all. just like i'm not terribly worried about a flu. i'm not in an age, where a flu or covid will likely kill me. it'll suck but i'll live. no big deal, which is why i certainly will not take the vaccine either. i think covid is blown WAY out of proportion. and for me, having a functioning and "trained" immune system seems way more important than "not getting last years version of corona virus"... as the media shows: the next version is already around...

    i mean even the WHO says that it's pretty much only as bad as a common flu but the global national governments seem to fail to take note of that... probably cause the pharma industry is stuffing their pockets with money real good and they scared people hard enough to still profit of it...
    Is this still revelant?
    • I'm sorry about that, what stage are you if I can ask?
      Having it for all your life and still being alive makes me both happy and jealous of you. I got explicitly told this will stump my lifespan and this is pissing me off to no end lol.
      I too had Covid and got told it was that one of the factors that precipitated things. But then again, my heavy smoking is my fault and that too contributed to it.

    • well you'll probably scoff at me cause i "just" have asthma xD i mean asthma can be super bad for some people. for me it can suck at times if i go off medication for a few days in a row but at my current state, it won't kill me, which might be a different story in higher age. currently on my medication that i take like every other day, i don't have any symptoms whatsoever.

      in case you're saying asthma isn't a "COPD", yes it is under J44.8 accoding to the ICD-10 classification. and i am of course acknowledging, that on a "suck scale", your thing is like 100 levels above mine. but still i feel like i can understand that shit better than people who don't have any breath related issues. and if i was you, i would do everything not to get covid (or a flu for that matter) ever.

      by the way, i'm quite shocked that you still smoke despite your condition xD i mean you do have at least "some" power to make their predictions about your lifespan "not true". it's astonishing that you survived covid... for me that is another indicator, that the media are just straight up lying about it's severity.

    • for me the worst asthma never has anything to do with coughing or pain. it's just like breathing through a straw at it's worst, which doesn't really ever happen these days.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    Everything makes sense now.
    I'm sorry, I don't even know what to say. I fucking knew something really bad was happening, I didn't imagine something like that tho.
    Now I get why your fiance and your mum don't leave you even if you abuse them.

    I think you have the right to be angry and feeling that nobody can help you but once the anger is gone, what do you do?
    This illness is not totally hopeless and there's a lot that you can do to slow it down and live a good life.

    Don't take this as patronizing, I can't even imagine how it feels to go through what you are going through right now. But I think you should really take out your suffering in more constructive ways and work your grief & fears with the help of others.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      And stop abusing & being angry at your mum and your fiance. Please consider their pain and fears too and not just yours.
      They are scared and they are heartbroken like everyone who cares for you.

      I'll be blunt. Whenever this thing kills you in ten years or some months, don't make this time extra painful for you and them both.

      My dad got cancer and sadly passed away last August, I don't know how you feel but I know how it feels when someone you love gets diagnosed with a grave illness. Please accept & appreciate their support.

    • Thank you for your kind and supporting words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them.
      You are right that I shouldn't take out my pain on them or anyone else for that matter. Actually sometimes I manage to control my anger and despite receiving the diagnosis in November, we managed to have a good Christmas.
      But now I feel so angry, at this crap and at other people too. It's not just the pain, but also because I feel so powerless. I can't buy out this one. It's there to stay until it kills me. And I don't understand why. Why the hell this crap had to happen to me.

    • I'm sorry about your father, I understand it must have been really painful for you. You are right that my fiancée and other loved ones are suffering too and I shouldn't make it worse for them.

    • Show All
  • flamiE
    I’m so sorry, life’s so unfair. I’m asthmatic and I only get breathless for some time, I can only imagine what it is like feeling your chest heavy all the time. I hope you make the most of your life and not let it beat you by letting it occupy your mind and make you feel miserable. You have all rights to feel the way you feel, I just really hope you won’t spend the rest of your life being angry.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you, I'm sorry you have asthma.
      Actually the diagnosis if of November, but I have been mostly able to not explode about it. Didn't even have many issues under Christmas.
      But in the last weeks it got more painful and I'm getting angrier about it.

    • flamiE

      Aw no need to be sorry, I only mentioned it so you know I somewhat understand where you’re coming from. Emphasis on somewhat.
      I’m sorry to hear it’s gotten worse. If talking makes you feel any better feel free to message me.

    • Thank you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Fuck Jean, that is awful. You’ll need to stop smoking because that will only aggravate it. Your fiancée loves you, that’s why she stays. No one knows what could happen to them or anyone else, suddenly, or more long term. Enjoy the time you have together and don’t push her away... that’s important!

    Hope you’re okay.
    • Thank you for your words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!
      You are right, I'm trying to quit although I still smoke daily. Cold-turkey is impossible but I've been trying to reduce gradually.
      My fiancée stays even though I take out most of my anger on her - not physically, I just get pissed off - and she really doesn't deserve it.
      I'm trying to keep my anger in check though because it's not her fault and surely not hers.

    • Well don’t be too hard on yourself, it can’t be easy on you either. But you’re right to find ways to keep it in check, you need her now more than ever I’m sure.

    • Yes.
      Those days I'm doing somewhat well in keeping it in check. We have also agreed that for one of us to go to another room if the discussion takes a bad turn or I get heated up. She generally either leaves the room or asks me to leave.

  • Poppykate
    That really f$&king suck. I am so sorry. I know you can get through this. No one knows when our number is going to be called. We could drop off tomorrow without any warning. You just need to take one day at a time and try to live each one as best you can. There are many people who love and care for you, and will support you through this. You only have to reach out and ask for help.
    • Thank you for your kind words.
      lol, now you get why happiness and optimism make me angry! 😂
      But I think you are right. I should do my best to live better and make the people around me live better. Althrough I admit that just thinking about how my remaining lifespan is probably no more than 10 years - if I am lucky - makes me boil with rage.
      Still, I can do my best to stall the disease and earn some extra time.

  • SphynxUK
    You have a very negative outlook.

    I know quite a few people with this, though only one of those is young (27). Others are 40+ (which is young in my opinion)

    They’re all at different stages, and different ‘severities’ but have all gone way past the 5 year limit.
    All lead full lives, blotted with the occasional lung infection or periods of illness.
    • I'm happy they are doing well.
      I got told that the five year expectancy is for the worst cases, while mine is on the average ten years.
      May I ask, has any of your friends got over ten years, or are they between five and ten?

    • SphynxUK

      Um the oldest is mid 50’s and she has had it about 10 years. She’s doing well, still
      Working, knows her limits... had to give up cycling a few years back... she also has asthma, and incidentally, her father had copd.

  • lanadelrey25
    I'm sorry, I really am. Reading this made me extremely sad. I would've expected someone so young to be even more irritable. You're mature for your age, you're only 23. I hope you can have the longest and fullest life you're able to have. <3
    • Thank you.
      It's mostly about stalling Stage 2 as much as possible.
      We'll see, although honestly I admit I'm costantly angry because of this lol.

    • You have every right to be. There's a reason I didn't block you earlier on. I honestly didn't think you were just this angry for no reason, you seemed extremely hurt and I feel you.

    • I understand. Yes, I have been pissing off people left and right lol.
      Actually the definite diagnosis is from November. For a couple of months I didn't really consider it and just went on.
      But now I don't know. It's setting in almost as a late boom and the realization it won't get better.

    • Show All
  • Agape93
    Damn, and so young too. One of my friends step dads has it, stage 3 and he’s in his 60s, but he also got it late in life. I’m sorry Jean. I’m not the best when it comes to empathy and what have you, but I mean it. I’m here if you want to talk.
    • Thank you for your kind words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them.
      I'm sorry your friend' stepdad got it, it's an ugly beast.
      The best course of action is to slow down the progress as much as possible and if feasible, try a transplant - it's not always possible though.
      And here you can't even get in list for a transplant unless you are stage 4. Realistically we are considering going to treat it abroad.

    • Agape93

      Yeah definitely do what you must to get proper treatment.

  • Itsroxxie
    Oh Jean...
    thanks for unblocking me, I couldn't imagine... I knew there was something, why you made all those angry posts...
    Hugs and prayers ❤
    You are strong, you will not let this beat you... everyone roots for you.
    • Thank you.
      Yes, I am really pissed off and taking it out on people again, I'm sorry.
      Thank you for your kind words and encouragements, I wholeheartedly appreciate them.

  • Gedaria
    You can prolong life with steroids and your life style.
    I have it in one lung but it can be controlled.
    • For how long have you had it?

    • Gedaria

      Ivy known about it for 18years. Before that the same lung had a cancerous polyps. They sorted it out but left a weakness in that lung.
      To start with they said it was Asthma.
      But it didn't react to the tablets and inhalers.
      So there approach the inhaler is a steroid which calms the lung down and tablets to help.
      Plus breathing lessons.
      And physiotherapy it helps to clear the lungs.

    • I understand, that sounds really though and interesting case.
      However, I've got told in clear terms I have a lifespan left of about ten years, more if certain treatments works in slowing down the progresses.

    • Show All
  • Twalli
    She loves you. I don't know if you like sappy romance movies but it's kind of like "A Walk to Remember". The girl had leukemia. The guy fell in love with her before knowing. When they discovered she was going to die, he did everything he could to make the remainder of her life happy. It's fine to not get married because you know you'll die soon, but don't force her away. If I had a girlfriend 12 years ago, when I was supposed to die, I would have wanted to spend every remaining moment I had with her. Clearly your fiance wants that.
    • I think you are right, thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience.

  • I'm very sorry to hear that you're having this problem. I don't know what else to say to you except please take care of yourself.
  • Gwenhwyfar
    I’m sorry. My mom had that.
    • I'm sorry about that. How many years it has been for her, if I can ask?

    • Gwenhwyfar

      She was diagnosed with COPD at 50 and died of something else (sepsis) at 54

      Thank you

    • I understand, I'm sorry about that. It must have been really painful.

    • Show All
  • winterfox10
    Oh shit... I'm so sorry man.
    • No problem.
      This is why I stopped caring lol.

    • Yeah, that'll do it... For what it's worth, even though near death experiences aren't same thing, I have had several of those and they do have a certain liberating effect after a while. Maybe the same thing happens in situations like your's?

    • I guess so. Although I admit this pisses me off to no end.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    What is the underlying cause of your COPD, in your case? Just curious because you are so young.
    • They told me it's genetic predisposition, plus heavy smoking from an early age.

    • Anonymous

      Yes I've heard of that. That it can be genetic. I hope you can curtail this!

    • Thanks.
      The biggest issues is quitting smoking, but I'm trying to and supplant with chewing tobacco, which is less heavy on the lungs and bronchial ways.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    My dad has COPD and congestive heart failure
    • I'm sorry about that.
      I hope he's doing at least a bit alright and is not too far into the disease.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you !