Relationships

Nobody's a Mindreader


So, nothing like a Friday night that consists of a change of clothes, a rendition of makeup and a straightener through your hair. After all, Friday night was when your man planned on seeing you, since you only get to see each other twice a week, really. And then you get a text asking if you want to hang out all day tomorrow...




You're finally off from work, and you still have to deliver Joe's lawn mower over to him before going home to deal with online banking... Friday evening's always the end of a long weekend hauling for the moving company you work for. You just want to jump in the shower and crash tonight. Turns out you won't be driving two hours to attend your uncle's friend's baby shower tomorrow either. Tomorrow would be perfect to take her out, so that you won't be dead tired by the time you see her...


Nobody's a Mindreader


Miscommunication. The mortal enemy to a steady relationship. It's all a "he said, she said" fiasco in our minds. The scenarios I gave you were rehearsals of what I thought, and rehearsals of what my boyfriend was most likely thinking, this Friday evening.


What made me mad was, he was the one who called for Friday night to see me, and he cancels his own plans on me for that. I felt like not only that he took me for a mind reader, assuming that I knew his prerogatives for switching to Saturday, but he apparently took himself to be one too, having it in his mind that I'd be just fine with that.


I think that's what men (and women) need to bear in mind in our relationships-we are not mindreaders. It's easy to say that the guys don't pick up hints, so the ladies need to be less subliminal and more straightforward. Women, on the other hand, are often expected to know everything (it's a bit flattering come to think of it), but truth is fellas, even if we like to think we do, we don't. If you even have a hint of wanting to change plans, let her know hours beforehand, so she doesn't feel she (or you) would be wasting her time. We're quite sensitive about that. Otherwise, if her heart's set on ice skating, stick with it, even if you're dying to see American Sniper. Those are the type of nights we don't forget.


Gents, I can't speak on your behalf really, but I will say that stepping back to narrate my boyfriend's probable thought process before he texted me about hanging tomorrow did help a little. I'm not sure if I'm on to something there, but maybe he was trying to think about the both of us having a good time together.


All in all, the relationship I have with him is very recent. We started dating a month ago, and already we've run into roadblocks like this one, mostly pertaining to communication and assumption. A few things I learned are:



  1. Unless you've been dating the person long enough to know their tacts & preferences, it's never safe to assume anything from the other. This is where feelings are hurt and frustrations arise.

  2. Problems surfacing in the blossoming stages of the relationship? Good. Nip them in the bud while the relationship's still fresh. Making establishments to omit those bad habits will prevent them from integrating into the relationship as it goes on.

  3. Also, if one of those problems is the question of staying with the person, although it'll be a pretty big bud to nip, it's still one that needs to be contemplated, even if you have only been with them for a little bit. Hang on tight if you feel there's surefire way of resolving the issues at hand, but if your contemplations spell out some different writing on the wall, it's better you part company if you foresee unresolved blemishes.


This is the state I'm at with my boyfriend, and the awkward phone call & ignored texts are what inspired this Take. I hope you all enjoyed it.


...and rest assured I have no clue what you're thinking right now.


None of us do.



Nobody's a Mindreader
Post Opinion