Relationships

Why is the Truth so Hard to Tell in Love?

In relationships, we hear time and time again, why it's so important to be honest with each other. I'm not talking about outright lies either, I'm talking about the honesty and integrity it takes to be who you really are which takes trust - that no matter what - you'll be loved, flaws and all.


Why is the Truth so Hard to Tell in Love?


It's hard to believe but I think that kind of unconditional love is out there, I've seen it. But it can't happen unless you expose and share all your scars and imperfections, admit to your mistakes and accept your flaws yourself before you expect someone else to do it.


That means that to connect with someone truly and utterly (as limitedly human beings can), we have to shed so much ego and preconceptions of ourselves, to step outside the facade we have created for ourselves to survive in this world. It's so ironic that to get a mate we put on so many airs and performances and then to keep them we either have to maintain them which is tiring, or have to strip it all down to the ground to let them really see us, so they can love us, totally bare.


I believe no matter who you are - or whatever defences you put up - we all want to be loved truly once. I also think we want someone to love our uglier sides more than the beautiful ones because that's how we can be sure it's real. And so, some people even go as far as acting out negatively, to put love to the test, because of their inability to believe that someone can love them whole-heartedly. Instead they sabotage relationships before they get off the ground, because they are too afraid that their flaws won't be accepted at all, but rather criticised or used against them.


So that's why people tell these small lies - to hide their raw and naked selves because risking the truth is so hard when your whole existence is on the line - awaiting acceptance at someone else's hands. It's a lot of power to give someone else... and so when we hold back and not reveal everything about who we are - we live a little lie. And though these lies are sweet because they are made to have others endear themselves to us - they realy cover the darker parts we find so hard to love ourselves. And so, others fall in love with a you that is not wholly you, and we are cheated of the safety and satisfaction love is supposed to bring us.


Our truths are so hard to tell because we have everything at stake, our identities and selfhood is threatened when exposed to the harsh light of day, when we open up and look to someone else to adore us. Many have been hurt countless times, but still, nothing is more worthy of chasing down - in yourself - than the ability to accept love and to be loved.


Love is actually a state of mind you share with someone rather than something you possess or attain from them.


The real truth of relationships is, it's easy to give love openly, but it's much harder to accept love in that way. And the only way to start on the path to a greater love, is to tell the truth of your Self.




Why is the Truth so Hard to Tell in Love?
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