5 Signs That Your Marriage Might Be Headed For A Divorce

[Idontkissandtell]

So ladies and gents... I know we all had that feeling where we thought our fiance or husband might want a divorce but doesn't really know if he or she can do it...

So, here are 5 different signs your marriage might be headed for a divorce!

1. You begin to feel apathy 
for the marriage and for your spouse. You feel your love for your husband or wife disappearing, not because you feel angry or hurt, but because you feel nothing. If the flames have turned to embers and the embers are burning out, you relationship is definitely at risk.

2. You're negative about your spouse. 
All your conversations with friends and family members about your spouse are negative. You find yourself focusing on what your spouse does wrong and have difficulty identifying what your spouse does right. You only seek out friends and family who agree with your point of view and validate your negative feelings.

3. You begin to avoid being home with your spouse. 
You find yourself making plans with friends, having drinks with colleagues after work, or worse, having an affair. If you are spending all your free time with others with the intention of avoiding your spouse, you have already disengaged. At this point, you may prefer to avoid the marital issues rather than address them. This will definitely lead to the relationship's demise if this behavior continues.

4. You fantasize a lot about being single and on your own. 
While it is normal to fantasize about what it would be like to be single or with another person every now and then, if you are doing this on a regular basis, you may have one foot out the door and are preparing the bring the other foot along. Remember, thoughts precede action and you can talk (or think) yourself into a divorce before you know it.

5. You have a "light bulb" moment. 
And that light bulb tells you you've been tolerating a marriage that simply does not work. In fact, you believe that you have kept yourself in a situation that is not good for you and conclude that this is no longer acceptable. You feel committed to your well-being and will no longer accept disrespectful or abusive behaviors. When the light bulb goes on, the marriage needs to change NOW or you will gather the strength to leave.

If you do not agree with anything... tell me why.

[godfatherfan]

sounds just about right.
however, if you truly love someone you can never NOT love them.
there is no such thing as saying 'I dont love you anymore" or the one that makes no sense " i have fallen out of love with you" . If you can say that then you never loved that person in the first place.
If you truly love someone you can love them differently, but can never loose love for them.
So I am left wondering why someone would spend 25 years with me, have 3 kids and never love me. maybe never even cared for me. I was played a fool for so long it is difficult to trust any woman at all. Up until the woman i am currently with I have never let my guard down and never felt any kind of connection with any of them in the 14 months since my divorce that I did not want.

[Bethanycats]

Just try to stay positive!

[CreepyOldMan]

I somewhat disagree. These indicators may work for conventional marriages, but not abusive marriages. Truly abusive marriages are far less likely to break up. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it is true. A real abuser is also the best 'comforter. He or she will console and comfort. It goes in long cycles of abuse to comfort, from comfort to abuse. The abused partner will rarely be able to have to the mental wherewithal to break free. They simply will have become too co-dependent. They will also have come to trust the abusive partner to such a degree, that they literally cannot tell the difference in reality and fantasy except based upon whatever the abuser dictates.

Conventional marriages that have come from hookup, to shack up, to justice of the peace can easily fly apart, and divorce rates prove it. Not so in true love or true abuse. Both are stronger than convention.

[CreepyOldMan]

My basic point is that there is no lightbulb moment for an abused spouse. And if there is, the abusive spouse can quickly switch it back off. They know all the buttons to push. An abused spouse NEVER fantasizes about being single. It is the one thing they are most terrified of. It's what keeps them co-dependent.

[Idontkissandtell]

yea but Im not even talking about abusive marriages

[UnknownXYZ]

So what type of marriages are you talkting about?

[Idontkissandtell]

The normal marriages

[chrisbigman]

@Idontkissandtell - are you trying to be the final nail in my brother's married coffin? My sister in law's been pushing for divorce the last few years for her selfish reasons, or at least leaving my brother. My brother is not a bad man. He's not abusive. If he is, she should let us know so that we can turn him around. I understand she might think we are biased/prejudiced - which I suppose we are - SLIGHTLY. But if one of us in the family is not doing right, we will call them out on it - even if they are family. She (sister-in-law) should know this. She's been married to him for a while, and we've known her for even longer (than they've been married).

[Idontkissandtell]

Is she black or something... the other way around... your black and she's white

[chrisbigman]

"Is she black or something"? Where did that come from? What makes a difference if she is black or white? She's white, by the way. We're all white.

[Idontkissandtell]

I was just asking... and why are y'all baised

[chrisbigman]

What makes you say we're biased?

[Idontkissandtell]

Read what you said

[chrisbigman]

I'm just stating that me and my family are white, and my brother's wife is also white. Why would we be biased?

[chrisbigman]

Just because we are all white doesn't make us biased. Maybe there's not many black people that live in our area. I could date a woman of any race, as long as we liked each other.

[Idontkissandtell]

I didn't mean anything like that and I say to you this is what you said... you said She might the we are biased, which I suppose we are... I asked... since I seen that... I asked What makes y'all seem biased? And I dont care that not many African AMERICANS, live y'all neighborhood... Yea I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT!!! SO THAT WAS SO IRREVELANT

[chrisbigman]

Oh, no!!! You misunderstood me. I meant that she was biased on the fact that we are all blood family - you know, me and my brother? She is only family - by marriage. It had nothing to do with race. You were the one that brought that up first.

[malakkaman]

I agree with all of the above and I feel all of the above

[Tormentarian]

Vague signs, thats why