I've always been someone that values space. I don't mind spending time by myself. I actually prefer it if I'm being honest. That's not to say that I don't get lonely, because I do. But I don't mind solitude. The other day a friend of mind asked me "How do you expect to stay in a relationship if you need all this space?" And I told her that space in a relationship was not only a good thing, it was vital to keeping the relationship healthy and on food terms. Here's why.
You Need Time to Miss Each Other
This is a major thing that I think a lot of people don't take seriously. Constantly being with your SO leaves you little to no room to miss them. And when you don't have a chance to miss them, they begin to annoy you. It's like when you got a new toy for Christmas. You were so excited and happy that you played with that toy everyday. And what happened to the toy after the first week? It ended up in the bottom of your closet or worse, broken. Now look at relationships that way. If you're always around your SO you're bound to get bored. And every little thing they do (things that you once thought were so cute) will start to get under your skin. You need to have time apart from each other. You need to have time to miss the cute way that he slurps his cereal. Or the adorable way she laughs. It's extremely important to have that space. You'll appreciate each other so much more.
You Don't Alienate Your Friends
I don't know how many "friends" I've lost because they got in a relationship and forgot that they had a life before that. Being in a relationship shouldn't mean that you stop going about your normal routine. Case and point: I was really close with my first set of college roomies. We lived together but all had hectic schedules. Thursday we all had off so we would always cook dinner together and have roommate day. Until my one roommate got a bf. She started spending every day with him and some nights. Including Thursday. And when we called her on it, she flipped on us and called us miserable and jealous. She pretty much moved in with him after that. They were broken up after 2 months. Come to find out, he told her he felt smothered. He told one of my other roommates that he constantly told her to come hang out with us and she never wanted to. After they broke up, things never got back to how they were with us. Sad to say, but she ended up moving out. It is possible to have friends and a bf. You shouldn't have to pick one over the other. There needs to be a balance.
Space is the Key to a Successful Relationship
I'm not saying that you need to cut all contact with your SO for days at a time, but spending the day with friends once a week won't hurt. I like to be able to genuinely miss you. It makes seeing you and hearing from you that much more special. Always being around your SO and never really getting time to yourself will make you start to feel resentful and that's never a good thing. So take that time to yourself every so often. Spend some time with friends and family. And see if it doesn't help you to appreciate not only your SO, but the relationship as well.