He didn't come home last night?

[lolalove]

Last night my boyfriend didn't come home and didn't call... when I finally heard from him I cursed him out and asked a million questions it turned into a big argument... and my girlfriends sense he stayed out that means he doesn't care... is this true did I overreact?

[kittyforlife]

Yes. You did overreact. You have a right to be upset with his actions, but honestly, you shouldn't have started yelling at him instantly. That is just asking for trouble. Communication is key in a good relationship, and if you start a conversation with accusations and cussing, you are bound to get a defensive reaction, and wind up fighting

[lolalove]

But he was acting like everything was ok like he didn't do anything wrong he didn't even apologize and I was up all night worried...

[kittyforlife]

How long have you been dating for?
If my partner did this now, I'd be upset because we have been together for almost 3 years, and have a new baby together, but in the beginning of our relationship, there were times when he wouldn't come home, or I wouldn't come hhome, and it was totally fine. We didn't have as much responsibility, and we're usually too drunk to drive home.
Maybe he really doesn't think anything is wrong. If I were you, I'd just tell him that it got you worried because you had no clue what was going on, and that you're not trying to put him on a leash, but if he can't come home in the future, at least call or text so that way you have peace of mind,

[lolalove]

Ok so what my girlfriends say isn't true and we have been dating for almost a year... my mom even told me to leave him because if he can't come home then he doesn't love me...

[kittyforlife]

Honestly, I think you are over analyzing things. Let me just throw this hypothetical situation out there: your boyfriend gets wasted and passes out at his friends house early. He wakes up at 3 am and is still very drunk, but he's awake. He can either go back to sleep and come home in the morning, or try and drive home at 3 am, wasted, and risk killing himself or others. Which would you prefer? We women, tend to evaluate things in an emotional level, rather than a logical one, and sometimes talking to other women about this stuff can make it worse. Can you talk to your dad/ any positive male figure in your life, and see what he thinks? I'm sure it is completely different from what your Mon has told you

[lolalove]

I don't have much family or friends but the friends i do have all said he's with another woman.. I should check his phone I should leave him alone because he doesn't love me sense he didn't come home etc...

[kittyforlife]

Unless you have solid proof that he is seeing someone else, I would honestly try and let that thought go. It will drive you mad thinking about the "what ifs" (I went through something similar, and was literally going crazy-stalker status) and trust me, it's just not worth it

[lolalove]

Ok I will stay away from phones etc and until there is proof I will let it go but what should I do the next time this happens?

[kittyforlife]

If this happens again I would say something along the lines of, " hey I just wanted to talk about last night. I got really upset because you didn't come home. I was tossing and turning all night long, wondering if you were safe. I know you are your own person, and I'm not trying to control you, but it would mean a lot to me if you would call if you're not going to come home."

[lolalove]

Thank you so much so don't curse or over react and should I ask what he was doing or who he was with? Also should you check your partner phone

[kittyforlife]

DONT CHECK THE PHONE! I repeat, DONTTT CHECK THE PHONE. He will resent you for not trusting his word.

[mammaof4]

Yes u did over react communication and trust are major key points in a relationship if you don'thave those things you ddon't have a relationship

[Sarah_cheeky_tease]

Yea u did. He's young he's going go out get drunk with his mates and time to time crash some where that's not home.

[BertMacklinFBI]

did you immediately start cursing him out and yelling and asking a million questions? was that like the initial reaction he got from you?

[lolalove]

well no when he called he didn't apologize or anything and was acting like everything was fine... and I was up all night worried about him so I got a attitude he was like im fine im ok... Im like really he was acting like he didn't do anything wrong...

[BertMacklinFBI]

do you think he knew or at least got the gyst that you'd be worried about him all night? and if he did then does he truly deeply know how that makes you feel inside?

[lolalove]

No there is no way he could known that I was up all night long and couldn't sleep but why couldn't he call.. and is what my girlfriends say true that he doesn't care...

[BertMacklinFBI]

its kind of an iffy situation at this point then. because if it were me and i chose to stay out all night i would still care about what my gf is thinking but i already know im going to be staying out way late so im not going to bother calling in, MAYBE ill send a text earlier but thats it. it sounds like he may have been pretty stressed out though. but you will know if he truly cared or not within the next few days, meaning he will most likely feel bad, be sorry and make it up to you somehow.

[lolalove]

Ok good to know so what should i do the next time... because he said i overreacted because he said he doesn't do this all the time and he's always home with me so he didn't know why I was so mad...

[BertMacklinFBI]

you know this is like my best friend and his relationship with his GF right now. by the way I'm not comparing you to her but she is very clingy and she wants him around all the time and when he doesn't see her for 1 day she flips and he says whats the big deal im with you all the time. you know honestly guys just dont get it most of the time. and most won't understand why a girl does what she does because of what she feels. if he thinks you overreacted then i wouldn't take it to heart but for his sake you can just touch it down a bit for the future. he just won't get it because he can't reach a level like that in his mind like you have until he's really ready for it. what i said might've sounded confusing as hell:p haha

[lolalove]

No I know what you mean I understand that men don't think like women and you were truly helpful so glad I found this site it really saved me and my relationship...

[BertMacklinFBI]

im honestly so glad I could help in any way:) Good Luck!!