Should I tell my husband his brother touched me inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

I am really conflicted about this. Guys, would you want to know? What would your reaction be?

[udolipixie]

Should I tell my husband his brother touched me inappropriately?
I don't do should or shouldn't unless it pertains to harming children or animals.

In my opinion it's not suited to tell your husband as this is a case of 'negative' male on female sexual behavior and as you're female most likely you'll be the one who is initially thought of as lying and if believe you'll be the one shamed and blamed.

I'm not seeing any reason for you to tell your husband this when likely he will side with his brother and if he believes you he'll probably think you did something to invite this or asked for it.

The only conflict I see is how the brother reacted to this. Most likely he didn't acknowledge what he did was unwanted if he even acknowledge that he did something. If so this may be increased threat for you as not only can he guess you aren't physically capable of warding him off he can guess that there won't be consequences for his actions as he didn't even have to acknowledge they were 'inappropriate'.

[Loveneedsfire]

Yes, you should tell him. It isn't right at all for a man, let alone the brother of your husband, to touch or make contact with your body without your O. K. first. As for the sleeping arrangement you should change that as well, and sleep with your husband/BFF. Hope this helped!

[Asker]

Thank you. The sleeping arrangement wasn't planned that way, it was just something we had to make do with in the backcountry. My husband is deployed at the moment and his brother was accompanying on my drive back home to KY from AK where we are stationed.

[Loveneedsfire]

Oh. Well you should tell him that it made you VERY uncomfortable and that you would like your body to be respected next time. As for your husband god bless him!

[dipta]

Not something you wanna hide and that may come up later on a different light.
Too bad about the brother, but he should have thought about that before doing anything.

[Mirrabella]

I have to agree, you really need to tell your hubby. That kind of behavior is abhorrent and you need to do something about it ASAP.

[Asker]

My husband is deployed at the moment, so unfortunately it can't be dealt with ASAP. That makes this so much worse. What was he thinking?

[Anonymous]

I think you should just deal with it yourself. Was it scary and aggressive when he touched you? Could it have been on accident?
Also if they are brothers you'll have to be emotionally prepared for family drama because as soon as it's all out in the open your Husband will disown his his brother and actually have hate towards him. I have brother's and I can't ever even begin to imagine how much it would hurt me if I knew my own brother was upset with me and hated me. So unless your 100% sure this was sexual harassment done on purpose and your scared of the guy now than yes tell your husband and file a sexual harassment case against him. Sometimes when women give men a certain look or make eye contact smiling staring back makes guys think they have a chance. I'm the type that waits but in his case he's either a sick psycho or maybe confused and thought you were hinting out signs to him

[Anonymous]

If you want to try and completely ruin their relationship, and run the risk that hubby won't believe you and side with his family, then I say go for it.

On the other hand, you could just deal with it yourself.

[Asker]

That is why I'm conlicted. My husband is so close with his brother, and I don't think any of us ever thought he was capable of such a thing. I really think my husband would believe me, but it would cause so much drama. What do you suggest I do to deal with it myself?

[Opinion Owner]

First, you say he seemed to not acknowledge that he did anything. Why was that? Was he asleep? Pretending to be? Where were you at the time?
Second, there's plenty of ways you can put him in the doghouse. Just because he's close to your husband, doesn't mean you have to have to be any more than barely civil to him. Treat him like shit for a sentence of oh say 5-8 years and maybe give him time off for exceptional behaviour. And after that, maybe you can begin to warm up to him again.

[Asker]

We were backcountry camping in Yellowstone and the situation wasn't ideal so we slept in the same tent that night. He pretended to be asleep.

[Opinion Owner]

Well if there was no possible way he was asleep, treat him as guilty.

[Asker]

After the first time I woke up to his hand where it shouldn't have been I threw it off me and scooted as far away as possible. At that point I was hoping it was there by mistake but later on that night he moved closer to me again and that time he first laid it on my leg then gradually moved closer. He was definitely awake.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Yes, you need to let your husband know. I would probably be quite pissed off at my brother.

[kate9582]

Hell yeah. He must know. Keeping secrets may poison your marriage. Tell him what happen.

[kate9582]

Besides having a secret will make you feel pressured and guilty.

[Anonymous]

Definitely tell him. Your husband has a right to know so that he can defend you and protect you. Otherwise the brother could just keep coming round and doing stuff. He would want to know.

[cajun]

Yes.. make him repent about it, fear is an important tool

[Strider90]

You should tell him! His brother might tell him someday to get you two in conflict. Don't ask how and why. Its just a scenario.

[Anonymous]

Yes! He should know esp if this thing with his brother could get worse.

[legalboxers]

why not? is it right your brother in law hits on you?

[truthbeknown]

What happened exactly?

[Asker]

I woke up to his hand on my area and he kinda dry humped my side while I was sleeping. I told him to get the fuck away from me but he seemed to not acknowledge that he did anything.

[truthbeknown]

Oh fuck! Big time tell your husband!

[zombiebabe]

yeah be honest and tell him

[Anonymous]

Yes definitely tell him