Should I tell my boyfriend his brother touched me inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Recently his brother started flirting with me. It started with harmless compliments and progressed into in depth fantasies he had about me. I always tell him I don’t appreciate him talking to me like that but he says he can’t help it. I’ve not mentioned it to my boyfriend yet because I don’t want to ruin their relationship if it’s something I can handle. However, over the weekend he took it a step further and ran his hand up my thigh to between my legs as we were playing cards with my boyfriend and a bunch of their friends. I quickly shut him down, and I feel sick about the whole situation. I don’t want to ruin their relationship by telling him, but I also don’t want to keep secrets as this is now making me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you everyone for taking the time to weigh in on this incredibly difficult situation. Just an update - before I disclosed the situation to my boyfriend, I confronted his brother. I motherf’d him for a while, and in the end he basically said it’s his word against mine. My boyfriend was beyond understanding and felt so terrible. He wants nothing to do with his brother anymore and I feel so guilty even though I know I did nothing wrong. Thank you all for giving me the confidence to do this.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Immediately, yes you should tell him.
If it’s something that bothers you, you need to tell him. No matter who tells your boyfriend, you or the brother, it’s still going to possibly ruin the relationship. The brother crossed a line, and if you don’t tell him, how else it going to stop?

[JustiReno]

I hope you have time to raise your kids you’re a smart person and it’s a scary world 🙏🙏🙏

[AndrésC64]

That's a difficult situation. This creep is probably going to deny it, in which case your boyfriend is going to have to decide who to believe. That puts him in a very difficult position. Try doing a surreptitious recording I'm him when he's telling you these fantasies and you telling him to stop it. At least that way you will have some evidence. Tell him that if he doesn't stop it immediately that you are going to share that recording with whomever necessary.

[Lionman95]

Tell your boyfriend because if you don´t he could feel like you´re not trusting him. It´s something that will ruin you´re relationship if you don´t.
Also tell his brother that you´ll not let him play with you that you´re not afraid to go to the police if he keeps making you uncomfortable.
I don´t know how old he is but make known to him that there are consequences for his actions.

[PrettyPriya]

I would first talk to the brother. The "I can't control myself" nonsense is exactly that. Tell him to knock it off immediately and that you aren't going to stand for it.

Tell him if he continues the inappropriate and uncomfortable behaviour, you will have no choice but to tell your boyfriend. End of story.

[PrettyPriya]

Ref update: You did the right thing and took care of the issue. It is a shame the brother wouldn't take the warning and stop. You did exactly what you should have done and then told your boyfriend.

Sorry to hear you even had to go through the situation.

[Asker]

Thank you so much ❤️

[PrettyPriya]

Most welcome. Very unfortunate situation but you did well and you did the right thing. I would have done exactly the same as you did.

[ticonderoga2]

You know what to do. Yes you tell him. At least you didn't do the brother. I've seen that situation and yes the woman told her boyfriend, um there's something you ought to know... Somehow that family was strong enough that it didn't end the brothership out right.

[MrOracle]

It's time to tell him. The brother crossed a big line, and your boyfriend needs to know - in fact, he'd be upset if you didn't tell him. I know it's likely to cause some problems within the family, but that's on the brother, not you.

[Now_Here]

Yes, you should tell him. But make sure you have some solid proof or evidence so that you aren't put into the situation of creating trouble or telling fake stories.

[bamesjond0069]

The sooner you tell him the less likely it would ruin their relationship. And now its progressed to the sooner you tell him the less likely it will ruin your relationship. If i found out about him touching you somehow someway other than you telling me soon after that happened id probably dump you too. You can't not disclose that.

[TrillXHippy]

This 💯

[Anonymous]

Yes, I really think you should tell your boyfriend. He wouldn't like his brother touching you like that.

[Fireguy17]

it is probably best if you tell him.
it won't be a fun conversation to have, and the the brother may deny having done what he did.
But if it bothers you that much you need to tell him.

[bklynbadboy1]

You have a good boyfriend cause he's supportive of you in the future just stay away from his brother he's a major dick

[SnakeBoop]

Dude is sexually harassing you. Course you should tell your boyfriend.

[TrillXHippy]

Here’s some advice that I advise you better take. Stop asking random people on the internet if you should do something. Disagree with me and I hope you know what you can do with that

[Asker]

There’s nothing wrong with asking for help :)

[TrillXHippy]

Yes there is

[Wise4myage]

Yes, of course. But here's the problem. You should have told your boyfriend long before now, because his brother might make up some BS story about you liking it.

But do tell him.

[TrillXHippy]

But she didn’t want to keep it a secret tho

[Zygum]

Tell your boyfriend about this matter or slap hard on his face or kick on his ass

[noohair]

Brother or not he is a sick puppy. He has no respect for you or his brother.

[lrina]

report him to the police if this persists.

[Passion_Devil]

Right away

[SignedAutographs]

Maybe

[anylolone]

Yes. Of course.

[Kurdistan1991]

Yes you should