Sometimes I worry that my boyfriend is too simple minded?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wonder if I am with the right person even though we've been together for 2 years and live together. I feel like I am a deeper person who enjoys creative things, events, deep and meaningful conversations, movies that make you think, I'm really open minded and have many interests... but he is not capable of having a really deep conversation, he likes superhero movies (which is fine but would be nice if he would agree to some movies I suggest sometimes), he doesn't get art, he isn't at all creative. Sometimes I wonder if I should be with someone else... I recently decided to try get him to realize his full potential and see if it works. But I still find myself questioning it all.

[loveisbeautiful]

Here's the thing, you can't make him into who you think he should be. You need to
accept him as he is. Obviously, he accepts you as you are. Why can't you do the same?

Also, you said "I recently decided to try and get him to realize his full potential".
And, what makes you think he's not? I mean, it's seems like most of this is based
on the fact that he doesn't have deep conversations with you and isn't creative or
into art. Because, you never gave any indication that his unemployed or lacks ambition.
It's seems like this "reaching his full potential" thing, is another way of saying you
want him to be and think, like you. See, even if YOU decided his life isn't what it should
be. If he doesn't agree and he's happy with who he is and the way lives his life. Then
it's not gonna matter what you do, because it's up to him to make that choice. True change,
has to come from within, it can't be forced. So, he has to think "I wish I had more in my life,
I want more then what I have". If he's not doing that, then nothing you do can fix him.
But, from what I read, he doesn't really sound like he needs fixing. You just think he does.

Some things you need to keep in mind. 1) not everybody is into movies that make
them think. Most people just want to be entertained and relax. If you want him to see a
movie you like, tell him that. Make a compromise. 2) Not everybody is deep person
or likes deep conversation. So, even if you do get him to reach his "full potential" it's not going
to turn him into a deep person. It's one those things, that you either are or you aren't.
3) Relationships are like a yin and yang type thing, you need to balence each other out.
Which leads to number 4) Ask yourself this, do you really want to date the dude version
of yourself? I mean, if you and your boyfriend were EXACTLY the same, you don't think
it would boring and predictable and leave you feeling like somethings missing?

To be continued.

[loveisbeautiful]

It basically boils down to this, accept each other as you each are or don't.
But, if you can't then you need to break and move on. It's really that simple.
Good luck, either way.

[kangy]

what are the good traits you see in him when you decided to be his girlfriend?
there must be some
but also i agreed being compatibile is important

[spankingthemonkey]

You said that you are "together" not that you love him. That alone says something to me. Don't forget opposites do seem to attract.

Also if you loved him, you would love him for his positive and what you perceive as his faults. You shouldn't have to change him but rather support him.

Usually, when the tables are changed the female is always the one saying, "Who does he think he is trying to change me!"

If you are unhappy over all, then leave. Outside of that love him for him not what or who you can make him into. Wouldn't you rather be supported then transformed?

[Asker]

I am not trying to change him, I am trying to help him reach his true potential in a way that he can experience life on a deeper level- for his own benefit. I think everyone has the capacity to do this, sometimes they need inspiration. I am not doing this in a demanding or mean way.

[tennis]

I laughed to myself after reading your issue. but if you're still attracted to him and he makes you wet/ horney/ laugh.. do you have fun with him still? because if so, then go be intellectual with your girlfriends. No man or woman for that matter are a complete package.. he sounds like the dumb jock type, prob has muscles.

[Crazyced]

Is he actually simple minded? Or just not that into arts? Could there be a deeper facet of him that YOU just didn't dig into? (that last one may or may not be rhetorical)

[BlackAthlete]

Your with him so why you complaining?