Do you regret ruining a good relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'm in the process of ruining my relationship with my current boyfriend and I'm regretting every minute of it. All he does is tell me how he doesn't appreciate how I acted or how I'm not open with him ect. I'm a first year teacher for a big school district and very under pressure and we are restricted to only seeing eachother on weekends.
I find myself apologizing a lot for giving him the cold shoulder or not quite listening to him. I go home and cry because I feel like I'm a bad person. I know it's a stretch and that I only act this way because I'm stressed and afraid of losing my job that I worked so hard to get.
Sometimes my boyfriend is very needy and doesn't like to hear MY problems because he feels I have nothing to complain about. Yet, he tells me his problems, I listen, sometimes give him my two cents and always very supportive. He expects me to be supporting, but he isn't very supportive of me. I don't tell him this, because I don't want him feeling bad and I know he is also stressed in his situation. From the way he speaks, it appears he has no hope and blames me for "altering" the relationship. I can't sleep with myself. I never cheated on him or did anything that he doesn't approve of, but at times quite dismissive.
I just want to know if other people feel the same way or regret the way they behaved in their relationship?

[Paris13]

Three years ago, a man from Egypt found me on Fb and we had started a whirlwind romance. After getting to know him on Skype, I ten flew off to the magical land of Cairo where I stayed with him and his family for 30 days. Things went so well that I returned to him once home, and it was at the Ministry of Justice we tied the knot. I then continued to reside there for awhile with him, learning how to become a Muslim's wife and learning more about his culture and religion. However, if you can pick up on my drift, I also learned a lot about a lot of other things while I was there and when I set foot back on that plane to come back home to the states, I had a big sour ball in my mouth about him, his family, our marriage...
I ended up cheating on him with a guy who was closer to my home, a Coptic Christan who was from Egypt. We carried our relationship for over a year and yes, I had told my husband who was angry and hurt but he forgave me, still loving me unconditionally. However, with not returning, for with things being as bad as they are over there in the Middle East since I departed, and with my romance with another, I lost the respect of his family, I ruined a good deal of our own marriage and even now, we have deleted each other for the hundredth time...
I never regretted meeting him, going over to get to married nor the experiences that I shared with him in the last three years. They were something that God saw fit for me to endure and who I am to question Him? My husband is a good Muslim man, but I see where his family takes precedence over me and our marriage and even when I was there, no privacy, much injustice in different avenues of this saga and I will never forget it. However, home, online, he was the better of us because he was more dedicated to our Online relationship and to me. However, offline, I knew where I stood---Second best to his other obligations...
With your own case, my Cinderella, I see where it Isn't just a one sided...
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

Let me continue, for I ran out of space, sweetie... I see where you both have a certain chemistry but there is ashort somewhere... You need Compromise, mor eopen lines of convo and to come to an understanding to be one another's Life supports with both... I think you might feel less stress if he would change a bit and if you would give an inch yourself, I feel it might be a healthier relationship that doesn't have to go dead in the water nor down a beaten path of destruction... If you love one another, Love will find a way... xxoo

[Asker]

Thanks. I really started to feel hopeless about my relationship because I can't take criticism very well. I got the notion that he was either breaking up with me or hates me. I'm a bad planner and have trouble prioritizing.

[Paris13]

It's takes two to tangle, sweetie, and you both need to talk turkey... Find out what is going on so you can either move on or if you choose to do this but don't stay in something where it is stress and strain every day... It is not healthy... xx

[Asker]

Your story touched my heart. I understand a long distance relationship is hard to maintain. My bf lives a state away and it's hard for me to make the effort to drive back and forth every weekend to see him, and that is another reason for me being so cold to him at times. He thinks that I'm just making excuses but he depends heavily on me and that in itself is a tough task. I have let him down constantly but I'm sick of the ramifications of my actions than making me appear untrustworthy or or unreliable.

[Paris13]

Yes, LDR is sure hard and with you living a state away is no stone's throw neither.. However, like my husband, they expect sometimes the impossible and with you you are doing what you can but sometimes it is never enough for him, I guess... Talk it out and maybe a Break away from one another so you can get your thoughts in order... he sounds like a peer pressure, you need to do some soul searching and unless a compromise can be made, it is hard to be in a relationship like this... xx

[Asker]

Thanks. I really appreciate that you took the time to explain your story in such detail and talk to me. I tend to get depressed in these situations.

[Paris13]

Thank you, it is touching, true, sad, but I cannot go right now to him...

[Paris13]

Yes, it is depressing and your own is sad but it needs attention and talking to him of everything.. However, I do suggest a break for now. xx

[Asker]

I agree. A break up will definitely put my mind at ease, but my heart will ache for his attention, hugs and kisses. I just have to learn how to be happier with myself before I can make anyone else happy. My goal is to make my first year as a teacher shine and get used to everything and possibly work on our relationship later on if possible. He's texting me during work all of this and it's hard to concentrate and do my job properly. I can't continue this. I just ignore him.

[Paris13]

No, a Break, not break up I say.. so you can think more clearly... Then decide if a Break up is better or maybe not for your situation.. A break for now.. xx

[Paris13]

Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to share my own story and for being some help in some way with your own problems... hope you're okay.. xxoo

[Asker]

Thank You. I took your advice and I'm a lot happier. It was mutual.

[Paris13]

Ohh, wonderful, glad to have obliged and so glad it helped you..:)) xx

[misscocobutter]

Sometimes situations are unavoidable, it sounds like a highly stressful scenario. U are being very hard on yourself u are only human. He should be more understanding

[Asker]

Thank you.

[slackercruster]

Listen, what you have laid out here is not of your choosing so much. It is what is needed for survival. A loving partner will work with you in times of stress. Sounds like your partner does not treasure you enough to be flexible until you learn the ropes of your job. If you would be happier without the added stress of the relationship then wind it down. When your caught up and in a better place maybe revisit it or find another anew. But don't regret having to do what needs to be done to survive. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you. I really felt alone in this one.

[Invoker]

Yes yes yes... heart heavy with regret. But I wish I was given a sliver of a chance to make things right because I know I could if she just listened.

[Asker]

I hope one day she'll give you a chance.

[Klaatu51]

no i wouldn't if i was in relationship... i'd set myself free LOL

[WiiU89]

Maybe you took on too much, too quickly

[Anonymous]

I didn't respond well in the beginning of our reka