Told my GF I'd dump her if she got fat. Am I wrong?

[TheRealDonDraper]

The other day my GF jokingly said would I still be with her if she got fat. Needless to say my answer was probably not.

I am sure I will get quite a few comments like - then you're shallow, you must not like her that much etc...

But I feel as though there is an unwritten rule that is engaged when two relatively fit and healthy people start dating. And that is that you do not put on a significant amount of weight. I think this rule maybe can be at least be somewhat softened as the relationship carries on into longer periods of time and youth starts to fade but thats really it.

And here is another piece of my mind for the ladies. If you can't handle the truthful answer to a question, then don't ask it. Or ask it and just make sure you don't turn into a cow in the near future and we have no problem.

I'd dump my GF/BF if they got fat

I would not dump them if they got fat

Updates

+1 y

Here's another fun little piece for all you people out there that are just sooooo deep and saying things like "omg thats so shallow" and that you "would stick it out with someone who decided to let themselves go..."

Step yourself off your high horse for a second, and ponder the scenario where you are now with this person who has since become overweight. Do you think you would have given them the chance for a relationship had they been fat when you first met?

Doubt it.

[Prettygurl12]

I love my boyfriend for who he is as a person, not what he looks like. Looks don't last. I'm probably not going to be as thin as I am for the rest of forever and my boyfriend is not going to be as thin as he is for the rest of forever either. But we're in it for the long haul. In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for thinner or for thicker, till death do us part.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that his fitness level means nothing to me in terms of attraction - it does. And I'm sure my fitness level is a big plus for him in terms of him finding me attractive, but there's an entire person in that body you find so attractive.

When you told your girlfriend what you did you basically just said that who she is as a person is no where near as important to you as the package she comes in. That can be devastating for a girl especially.

And as for your update... when I met my boyfriend he was 5'6 and pudgy like a dough boy with buck teeth and chubby cheeks and all covered with his baby fat. And I was head over heels for him. Immediately.

I love him then and I love him as the 6'5 nationally ranked swimmer bodied man he grew into and I'll love him if ever he turns back into the dough boy I met in the beginning.

[Fleur-Rose]

Aww thats love

[Keyspirits]

I think.. ma face juz turn into HAWT potato reading this O_O'

[Prettygurl12]

... is that a good thing?

[Clovergirl-Lily]

are you guys married yet? if not, can i come to your wedding? please? :)

[Prettygurl12]

Hahaha well we're not married and I don't want to go jumping to conclusions, but I'll keep you posted :p

[Clovergirl-Lily]

:) seriously, if you guys were fictional characters, i'd be wrting fanfics for you two already!

[Prettygurl12]

Really? We're just two normal people lol nothing special. But I'm glad my relationship finds favor with you.

[Clovergirl-Lily]

:) anyone who can write what you wrote about your relationship in today's world is special and seems to have jumped out of a book or a fanfiction. it's hard to find deep, true love in a world where many people are so fake or can't do long-term relationships. what you and your boyfriend have is special beyond compare. :)

[Prettygurl12]

I'm flattered that you think so.

[girllovesquestions]

You're right, so right. This guy is being shallow. And I can say it if I want to. If u loved her, really for who she is, nothing else would matter as long as you're together.

[TheRealDonDraper]

@girllovesquestions the next guy you think you are in love with you should get as fat as possible and stop shaving your legs, armpits etc and then see what happens..

You should stop wearing make-up immediately too. Because that is superficial.

[girllovesquestions]

Lol, ok😊

[geekyguy1991]

why the username? you are not exactly "pretty"...

[Prettygurl12]

No, I am exactly average. I am the exact average for a female. I am aware of that. I am a 6/10 at best. Both in body and face. But 16 year old me who made the account needed a pick-me-up from being a tad bit suicidal. 21 year old me is content with her averageness. Acceptable answer?

[Anonymous]

Even if you would no longer be physically attracted to her, that is a pretty rude thing to say. You would just dump her, no questions asked? That completely disregards you entire relationship and emotional connection.
First of all, how would she get that fat? If you are both as fit as you claim to be, then I think you would start to notice if she started eating junk food and stopped going to the gym. I'm assuming at that point, before she even gains weight, you would either help her to get back into the fit lifestyle, or dump her then because your life-style habits are no longer compatible. But I"m assuming that if you really loved her then you would try to make a relationship work.
I love my boyfriend, so I would try to make it work. I can't imagine him gaining so much weight, but if he had a disease that caused him to gain a ton of weight then I would at least try to work through it. If I'm no longer attracted to him and we're no longer sexually compatible then I'd have to end things, but because I care about him I would at least try to stay with him.
So when you say you would automatically dump her if she gained weight, you are essentially saying all that matters is her appearance and her personality and love is not worth it.

[AshleyMD]

If you mean she put on a couple of pounds and it was noticeable and you would break up with her then yes that is shallow, but if you mean she gained a significant amount of weight and it wasn't due to a pregnancy or illness than you're being perfectly reasonable, I would probably do the same.

[TheRealDonDraper]

Yes i am talking about significant amounts and not due to reasonable circumstances.

But apparently this is crazy shallow for all these righteous saints here on GAG

[CuiqueSuum]

Part of me goes "Yeah I definitely would because I would lose all physical attraction at that point", but then I also know that if I truly fell for a woman, I probably wouldn't and would still find her attractive. Since I've fallen for women once or twice before, I can tell you that it is almost shocking how somebody you aren't really physically attracted to can start to seem physically attractive when you start to fall for them.

It's as though you actually associate the features they possess physically with what is now attractive because your feelings for them are that strong. So while I sit here now single, not possessing any such feelings for any such person, my mind tells me "Yeah man you'd leave don't lie!" the truth is when the situation actually came up, with those feelings involved, I'm not so sure that she wouldn't become my definition of physically appealing, added weight or not.

That being said, if it gets to the point of unhealthy, I would ceaselessly prompt her to get it together because that type of morbid weight gain kills in the long run, no two ways about it.

[DodgersGM]

I think that honesty is never really the worst thing you can give someone, but you could have worded it with a little more consideration.

Most people can understand someone leaving their marriage or their relationship if their partner made a major, destructive change in their lives. That's totally understandable. At the same time, we all have low moments and periods where we struggle with things, and I think most women (and men) just want to know that they can be human; they can have these struggles, and their partners will stick by their side and support them.

Basically, a lot of people will hear this and think that you're the type to cut ties and bail at the first sign of trouble; naturally a lot of people wouldn't care for that attitude.

Whether that's you or not I have no idea, all I'm saying is that a lot of people will infer this.

[TheRealDonDraper]

I think I respect this opinion the most so far. Mainly because you didn't jump to a million conlcusions of what a shallow asshole I must be.

You are clearly right about the conclusions that people have jumped to thinking that I would bail at the first sign of trouble. And you are right about low moments etc...

I am not talking about moments like some people said, the girl breaking their leg, pregnancies etc.. Things of that nature where it is perfectly understandable, and are well within reason and ridiculous points to bring up seeing as they are very understandable.

[Clovergirl-Lily]

my first boyfriend was chubby/fat, or right in between. he is not attractive to anyone, and he had a lot of acne. but i thought he was a nice guy. until he turned out to be a pervert. fast forward to a couple of years later. i met a nerd who clearly doesn't have anything that resembles a six-pack. wears glasses, is way beyond blunt at times, has acne all over his forehead and the sides of his face. yet his intelligence mesmerized me, and his behaviour of a gentleman was something rare that i hadn't seen in forever. he still fascinates me. and now this year. this guy is a nerdy geek. really smart, kind of quiet and shy. looks quite scrawny on the outside. isn't exactly a mr. tall dark and handsome. but is sweet and gentle and intelligent. still crushing on him. and lastly, ever since i was 9, i loved an autistic girl two years younger than me. she is much shorter than me, because she doesn't have the opportunity to grow much, and as i got taller each year, she seemed even shorter. she is chubby. she puts her hands in her mouth and will grasp your hands the next second covering them in saliva. she has the mentality of a newborn. she shrieks in a way that will burst your ear drums. she digs her nails into your skin. when she sneezes, she doesn't realize it, and hugs you regardless, wiping her snot and saliva on you. she grabs my hair with her saliva-covered hands, and i care about my hair more than anything else on my body. and after all this, she is the one person i love as much as i love my family members. because she is my pillar of strength, my sunshine on every cloudy day, my saviour who gave me hope when i felt like my life had no purpose, my guardian angel, my best friend. and even to this day, i love her. she still recognizes me no matter how much i've changed or how long it's been since i last saw her. so how much does appearance matter? when the person may really be unable to keep themselves healthy?

[TheRealDonDraper]

wowzers

[Clovergirl-Lily]

you probably don't believe me? it's very true though. but i think if anyone needs to learn how to accept someone completely, it's a good idea to start by understanding autistic children - they teach us many things we used to know in our childhood, but grow to forget. and that is to simply be kind to anyone who's kind to them, no matter their appearance or anything. the autistic girl made a big impact on my life. but not many people take me seriously because they've never had such strong feelings over a person who can't communicate normally and can't take care of themselves. but if you can love an autistic child whole-heartedly, or any person with many disabilities, then appearance eventually seems like nothing, and whenever you meet someone, you'll want to see their inner self more. it's difficult, and not everyone is able to do that. i've just had a pretty rough life, so every good feeling is intensified. :)

[epiman94]

I got to be the first person to thumb up your beautiful opinion!

[Clovergirl-Lily]

haha, thank you. it's a very important part of why i am who i am today. thank you for believing me, and thank you for thinking that it's a meaningful story. you're actually one of the first few people who accepted this story so easily, so i'm pretty sure that even if you do think you'll dump your girlfriend if she gets fat, i think your love for her will overcome this. in fact, your love should help her become a better person by making her feel that there is someone worth taking care of herself for. and then everything just falls into place. if she does begin to eat unhealthily, your love for her will take care of her, and she will understand how to take care of herself to her very best. :) trust me, once girls have something worth living for, they try to keep themselves as healthy as possible

[Clovergirl-Lily]

no wait, epiman24. i have mistaken you to be the asker, in all my ditziness :P but if you have the same worries about a girlfriend getting fat, that message can be for you too! :)

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest, I'm athletic and kick boxing, dance and yoga are part of my daily practice. I've been in relationships where my boyfriend has been lazy and hasn't enjoyed exercising. I loved them so much, but I would get frustrated, being athletic is part of who I am, it's how I stay calm and collected. I love being healthy, but I couldn't be with someone who didn't feel the same way.

I fell for their personalities, but I believe in having the freedom to be yourself in a relationship. I didn't feel I could when I couldn't express myself through dancing, I couldn't handle bailing out on my kick boxing classes. If there was a condition that made it hard for a man to loose weight, or made them gain weight, yet they were still trying to stay healthy, I wouldn't leave them. I would stand by them and support them to being healthy again.

BUT, if they were just lazy and they gained weight, I couldn't handle it, it would work well with my active lifestyle. The best date I've been on was when we ran the bay together, it was raw, we were happy, and we felt amazing.

It all depends on the circumstances, I won't judge you, but I can empathies.

[Yeahhbro]

Lol i know i wouldn't either, mainly because yes i do care for myself (i jog, i do a lot of body weight exercises and i play a lot of soccer) and well if i do care for myself, i expect the other person to do that as well, it is just common sense. I guess if the other person doesn't do it, then i would understand why they would give you crap for that. Either way, humans always look for somebody at par or better then themselves anyways, So you can't expect somebody that looks like a model to date somebody like the walmart girl with the spongebob dress (its am internet meme). We humans do not like to to "settle for less" when getting stuff or partners for that matter.

It is actually a great idea to show expectations of what you expect from her. Obviously not nothing extraordinary, but something more withing the limits of rationality. Its like when you buy a car, you won't buy any tin can that the sales man tells you to buy, you always buy what you buy the most convenient within your expectations.

So i guess if you do show that you have that much value, you can expect nothing else from other women, plain and simple.

[lananoel]

I'm not going to bullshit you. I have a problem with obesity.. Chubby is perfectly fine, but a person should stay within reasonable weight gain. I'm chubby now and I'm either going to stay where I'm at or lose weight! I was a cute petite woman before I had two kids and I should still maintain my physical appeal to my husband. I can't gain another 30 lbs and then get mad when he looks at smaller women! That makes no sense. I have no medical condition so I have no excuse. We have both talked about weight gain and he says chubby is okay and I agreed chubby was okay too. I like a soft man. lol, but muscles and slim builds are alight too. Standards don't make you shallow. Everyone has them.

[TheRealDonDraper]

Finally someone with some sensibility around here !

[lananoel]

Men are visual creatures. I will never be a size 2 again, but that doesn't mean I can't still look my best.

[TheRealDonDraper]

See, a lot of people are concluding that I am just shallow. But your mentality changes if you choose to let yourself go. Like you said, you may not be able to be a size 2 but you can still put in an effort to look good. Women want effort in relationships just as much as men do. I don't know what all these people are getting their panties bunched up about..

Apparently most of them just get the answer they want to hear...

[lananoel]

The word "fat" hits womens ears harshly. We constantly worry about our weight even if it is sense less to do so. Another thing is if a person were reading with their emotions they misunderstood what you were trying to say and took it as you dumping her over 5 pounds.

[TheRealDonDraper]

Women react with emotions? Noooooooooo

If people just take their health and well-being into account, there shouldn't be any problems with this. That's all I am saying. But yeah you are right when women hear "fat" all the cosmos they read just flash through their mind I'm sure

[TheYellowBear]

I don't think you are wrong to feel this way because I feel exactly the same way as you do.

If a man or woman balloons out while they are in a relationship I see it as a sign of them being far too comfortable in the relationship. They have decided to settle in life, accept their lot and complacency sets in.

I view it as a sign of disrespect too. I watch what I eat and I try and get regular exercise just by walking to work and I expect my partner to do the same.

Being overweight is also problematic for a person's health. Overweight people increase their risk of developing cancer and type two diabetes as well as increasing their risk of suffering from heart attacks and strokes.

It's vitally important to a person's mental and physical well being to remain a healthy weight.

[TheRealDonDraper]

You know it's really nice to know that there are people like you who don't have any issues with having at least some sort of grip on reality.

[TheYellowBear]

As I say everyone has their own preferences and nobody is right or wrong here and while I don't believe appearance to be the 'be and end all' of a person's beauty, I do see overweight people as being talking and walking health hazards. I also hold women who consume large quantities of alcohol on a regular basis and women smokers in the same regard.

[snowangle]

My boyfriend probably will get fat in the future! He doesn't take care of himself but his metabolism is keeping him thin for now. It won't last forever, though. Probably won't hit until his 30s or 40s, but I am planning on marrying him and being there for that.

Anyway, I hope she didn't get mad at your response. My general rule is "never ask a question unless you're prepared for the answer."

[skullly]

Well, that's completely reasonable, but also if you start to get bald, you shouldn't take offense either if she decided to leave you for this.. and yes you might argue that, "balding" is inevitable, as oppose to being fat, but they are BOTH part of the aesthetic appeal, and if you are not longer appealing, just the same as you'd no longer be attracted to her cause she's fat, someone could no longer be attracted to you just cause you can't grow any head hair.

My point is, it's not wrong in either way, sure it's vain, but we are not blind... and if the love is not strong enough, all the outer beauty counts more than the inner love. and if she does get fat, and if you do leave her solely due to this, then your inner love for her is not as strong as your outer lover for her (if that makes any sense), irrelevant to what you say. It is as it is.

Having said that, if my boyfriend got fat and bald, I'd still love him, but I will not encourage it D:

[lumos]

Nah. I mean sure, I'd be less attracted to him, but at that point I would love him for everything he is. I wouldn't just wake up one day and be like "ew you're fat bye" because that's really unnecessary. If you truly love someone, you'll be able to see past that. And if it really bothers you, you should bring it up and talk about it. If I thought he had gotten too big, I'd encourage him to eat healthier and to exercise more. It's not the most important thing in a relationship. Dumping someone over something like that without even trying to work it out at first is so stupid. This is why relationships don't last anymore. People break up over the most stupid things without trying to work it out first. It's some instant gratification bullshit.

[FlyingTurtle]

This, though.

[Mikaychay95]

Ok in all honesty she really should not have asked that question and get all butt hurt when she got the answer she wasn't expecting to receive. Also by fat do you mean a little pudge or morbidly obese? If you meant obese then yes I wouldn't want to be with her anymore. It's extremely unhealthy and she obviously doesn't care for herself if she were to let that happen therefore if she can't respect herself anymore why should she expect you too?

[TheRealDonDraper]

Exactly what i am saying.

And yes I am not talking about just a little weight. I am talking about really letting go.

[Kyndra]

''Step yourself off your high horse for a second, and ponder the scenario where you are now with this person who has since become overweight. Do you think you would have given them the chance for a relationship had they been fat when you first met?''

My boyfriend is overweight. He was overweight when we met. Yet I asked him out. Because I care about him more than his weight and he always finds a way to make me happy. So I think I do have the right to say that you're probably not that into her.

[TheRealDonDraper]

I find it hilarious you think you have the right to confirm whether or not I am into her just because you have a different preference when it comes to dating fat/unhealthy people.

[Kyndra]

That's okay, I find it hilarious that you even managed to get a girlfriend with an approach like that.

[Kyndra]

Besides, you were the one asking if I'd given him the chance if he was fat when we first met.

[TheRealDonDraper]

I would find it hilarious if you got real fat and your BF dumped you.

[Kyndra]

I'm glad that'd entertain you, however not every single guy on this planet is as superficial as you are.

[TheRealDonDraper]

Either that or not everyone of them is as honest as I am and you may just be in for a big surprise should you pack on some lb's

[Kyndra]

Yeah, you try to convince people that being a dick is the same thing as being honest. Let's just hope you won't end up gaining weight, how would you even look at yourself?

[TheRealDonDraper]

Being honest is being honest that's all there is to it.

If I got fat I would look at myself and say whoa how the fuck did this happen, do something about it now you fat fuck. And then I would do something about it.

[Kyndra]

How do you know she wouldn't?

[TheRealDonDraper]

Did I say that I know if she would/wouldn't?

[Kyndra]

Oh my god, arguing with you is like arguing with a 6 year old. If your girlfriend gains weight, and you leave her, that means you're not going to wait around for her to take control of the situation.

[TheRealDonDraper]

If she was willing to do something about it then that is a different story. If she is not willing to do something about it then i am not going to waste my time and energy on it.

Does that clear things up for you?

[Kyndra]

Mmhm, yeah

[justbanANNAz]

yes u r wrong, glad we figured that out.

i mean dont u sit there telling me ur gonna b this hunk all ur life, because ill give u a piece of my mind, we're all gonna get old [if we live that long], get ugly and die. u won't have abs, ur skin won't b tight, u won't have as much hair... ok? its inevitable. even if ur still fit as an old man, do u really think it will make up for much?

and if u think calling a woman a cow makes u look good then ur an asshole. a woman has NO obligation to become ur constantly sexy woman. if she wants to go out with her hair not done, in sweats and her hair up, she will. u can't stop her. if she wants a cheeseburger and doesn't wanna work out after it, then fuck u she will do it.

if u can't see past all that and accept her for who she is rather than the aesthetics then u dont deserve a woman.

yes, women can give a piece of their mind too. eat it.

[Aus15688]

You are so hot. I would let you stuff me with a strap on any day!

[TheRealDonDraper]

Uhhh did you read through my whole statement to the part where I said it's different in significantly long term relationships?

And did I ever call anyone a cow? No...

And did I say anything about going out with no make-up, sewats etc... no...

Misinterpret much?

[justbanANNAz]

i read the entire thing.

"Or ask it and just make sure you don't turn into a cow in the near future and we have no problem."

this statement implies ur ready to use the term.

no u did not but I'm expanding the trail of thought here, unless that was too much for u, i apologise.

dont play smart.

[staciebee]

You can dump anyone at any time for any reason. Relationships aren't obligatory or contractual.
Personally, if my boyfriend said he would dump me if I ever got fat, I would save him the trouble and end it right then and there, because who wants to be with someone who clearly doesn't love them?

[Kshppatel]

I think you were being honest with yourself in what you want out of a relationship. Let's be real women and men have or are thinking about exiting a relationship because the other person isn't attractive to them anymore. If you want a girl to remain fit and healthy that's your right and by no means should you have to defend yourself. Sure you could have worded it a little more considerately. As a fat guy if a girl said this to me I would be hurt but I would understand because unfortunately for fat people that's how the world works.

[BelleGirl21]

I would not dump them I would love them enough to encourage a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy together, do fun physical activities together, workout together, let her know you still love her.
Are you dedicated or not? What if a girl left you because you lost a little muscle mass or she decided she liked a guy with more muscles. I'm all for honesty but where is your loyalty?

[Shut_Up_And_Marry_Me]

Hey! I have a pizza problem! LMAO!

[BelleGirl21]

Don't we all? @shut_up_and_marry_me

[Shut_Up_And_Marry_Me]

Ya but I'm dangerously awesome so it balances into the black :)

[BelleGirl21]

I'm just dangerous @shut_up_and_marry_me :P

[Shut_Up_And_Marry_Me]

Too much kung fu.

[Vennie]

To be honest, if my bf gained massive weight to the point it's filthy, did absolutely nothing to care take of himself and is endangering his health but he didn't care at all then yes I would break up since this isn't something that can't be fixed.

If it was a medical issue causing him to gain weight but he was desperate to fix this problem and is taking care of himself, then nope I wouldn't break up.

What I really can't stand is those people that complained about being fat and yet, I see them laying down and eating junk food as well as not even exercising. I think that would be a turn off for most people; lack of drive to self-improvement.

[Theguyoverthere]

It does depend on your definition of fat and if they were doing something about it or not. But if I was dating someone and they got fat, yes I'd dump them. This is also a "damned if you do, damned if you don't question." One girl wants the bullshit "No honey of course not..." answer while the next girl's gonna be thinking "What a bullshit liar."

Like if she put on a little bit overtime I wouldn't go nuts. Plus she could workout with me and we'd be doing something together and it'd be fun. But if she just got lazy and stopped caring and settled in, I'd dump her for sure. Not just for health reasons but because I don't find overweight women attractive. I have a right to my own preferences just like she does. Being overly sensitive about such an issue is why society's so damn sensitive all the time.

[aamy811]

To be honest that is kind of shallow. Life takes over things happen you get fat. And if you wouldn't even try to get her back on track, or even try to continue loving her; then you never love her in the fort place. When your in love they could be 300lbs but something about them doesn't make you care. And if your physical attraction is all that really ties you then there's a problem. I've dated bigger people and trust me things are harder (even talking to them and hearing some of their life stories makes me sad), but they're great wonderful people. So yeah, relationships have layers

[wishfire10]

First off, if you arn't with your girlfriend expecting it to even last for a long time, then why bother getting into a relationship with her? You obviously arn't going for the right type of girl. So, your gf should be offended if you won't stay with her if she gains weight, in your eyes you don't see it as a long term thing, so why bother wasting her time? Things happen, she could break her leg and gain weight while recovering, what kind of man would you be? A relative could die and she could be depressed for a while.. how would you like it if something bad happened in your life and you put on a couple and she just drops you? What's the point in a relationship if you can't even count on a person.. im sorry.. but you suck.. I wouldn't want you as my bf.. im a good size (not big. . Im fit) but if something were to happen to me.. and it has before.. im really glad you weren't by my side

[Anonymous]

I was actually super skinny when I started dating my overly fit marine boyfriend (now ex) I gained over 100lbs right around our four month mark. And to be honest he straight up told me he would be there for me until I got back into shape. Working with him I lost my weight in 6 months and we still dated for a year after that. He was never deployed and he was still with me everyday so it's not like "he didn't have to see you" type of thing. He even took me to the marine ball when I was 50lbs over weight. If you can't see past her looks.. if I was her.. I'd dump your ass in a heart beat.

[TheRealDonDraper]

If you were her you wouldn't dump my ass in a heartbeat. You would have already long been dumped.

[Anonymous]

Would you stick around if you found out her weight gain was due to cancer? Granted MOST cancers cause a person to lose weight when they're not trying, my sister was trying to lose, but kept gaining, the only symptom she had was fatigue. She was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Thankfully her husband (who thought a lot like you do) decided SHE was more important than her weight, and has stuck around. (her ex, who thinks similarly to you as well would have left the moment she started gaining weight.)

[Opinion Owner]

And if you got fat, would you expect her to stick around, or leave?

[TheRealDonDraper]

To answer your 1st question of course I would stick around. I am talking about fatness due to simply letting go and being lazy. not pregancies, injuries etc.. Just letting yourself go out of laziness and not doing anything about it.

To answer your second question, if i was to let myself go willingly and she conveyed to me that it is causing her a serious problem in our relationship, then I would get healthy again for the sake of saving it if I didn't already have the desire to do so for myself. Which I would expect that I would.

[Opinion Owner]

So you're saying you would giver a chance to get healthy again, before you just up and left? Then I could agree with that - and as long as you're willing to ensure that it isn't due to physical illness, etc. :)
thanks for answering the question. :)

[TheRealDonDraper]

Of course. And thanks for asking the question first without jumping to a million conclusions and insulting me.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course. :)

[Opinion Owner]

and, I will be honest, I let myself go, mainly because I fell into a pretty deep period of depression after breaking up with the last guy I was dating. Before then, I was maybe 15 pounds over weight, but I thought I was gonna marry the guy, turned out he had another girl on the side. Needless to say, I was devastated. I had moved away from my friends/family so had no support, and would eat a lot - because that was all I felt I could control. Needless to say, I gained a lot of weight... I am working to get it off, but sometimes it's hard to get enough motivation - maybe I need anti depressants to help, I don't know. But, on the other hand, sometimes the "fat girl," just needs a friend to go to the gym with to help keep her motivated when it gets hard. you know?