I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend with other girls!?

[Anonymous]

So last night I did something really stupid: I looked through my boyfriend's Facebook messages while he was at work. We've been together for almost a year now, and I do trust him, but it was just too tempting to take a look. He hasn't been talking to any girls after we became a couple (other than work or school related stuff), but last automn he was talking to like 10 different girls. One of them I understood had spent the night at his place just a couple weeks before we met. I know this was before we met so it shouldn't matter but it just makes me crazy to think about him with someone else! Another girl (she's now dating one of his room mates, so i see her all the time) seemed reeeally into him, turning all conversations towards sex. What makes me sad is that both him and I hate this girl, she's always trying to make a fool out of people and really annoying. But my bf seemed to enjoy talking to her and invited her over to watch a movie. The thought of her sitting with his arms around her makes me feel sick. I admitted what i had done and talked to him about it, he said he didn't kiss her and didn't have sex with any of the girls. then I asked when te last time he had sex before me was, then he answered 4 months before with his ex (they were dating 2 years earlier but she cheated on him and he ended it). Now i just see these images in my head of them having sex in our bed. What should I do? How can I stop having these thoughts?

[Anonymous]

He is being awfully patient, understanding and forward with you. . . don't take that for granted. You need to learn how to deal with this internally, it is YOUR problem, not his. If you keep breaking his confidence and rehashing the past he had before he even knew you existed, it will wear him down. Learn how to deal with it yourself. You need a way to talk yourself down, a way to remember what is important. I get easily jealous too so this is the thought process I go through, "If he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't be. If he starts seeing someone else or cheats on me, it'll come to light eventually and I will leave him because I don't want a man like that and if he acts like that, he doesn't deserve me. So in the end, worrying about it or making a fool of myself or harrassing him about it does absolutely NO GOOD." Things will work out how they are supposed to.

[RestlessYouth_]

You deserve all of those images, learn to respect your boyfriend's privacy and shit like that shouldn't happen.

[AleDeEurope]

You have to convince yourself that he's not a cheater, that you trust him. Every time those thoughts come to mind, tell yourself that's impossible, smile and think of another thing totally unrelated.
It's something you have created yourself, for what you've said, since you've been together he has done nothing that means he can be unfaithful. So just trust him, think of how happy you're both together and that he feels the same way, so he has no reason to cheat.

[AleDeEurope]

oh, and you shouldn't have gone through his Facebook account without his permission, it's a violation of privacy. It was a mistake and you've acknowledge it, just don't do it again.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Someone opened the can of worms. You don't really trust him, otherwise you wouldn't have opened his fb page.