I have a boyfriend but I can't stop thinking about someone else..it's driving me crazy..

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. we have known each other for 8 years.. I love him dearly. I see myself having his babies... the past 5 months have been boring. and between the sheets has not been that great. I've tried to spice things up by buying lotions, oils, feathers, lingerie outfits.. it all has the same outcome. he gets off quickly and then by the second time around will get soft in the middle of our round 2 session.. that has put a damper on things. I'm a VERY passion driven person. and I'm open to a lot of things... that's not our only issue... carrying on a conversation has been tough lately too. we have different interests... compromising is tough. and he is controlling. but he's also devoted to me. and my family loves him. he makes me laugh. and he does except me for who I am... he doesn't try to change me..and I really like that about him... but there is this other guy... I've known him for about 3 years. I met him through my boyfriends sister (who also happens to be my best friend and old roommate before me and her brother started dating)... she was dating this guy briefly... she really, really liked him. when we met there was instant chemistry. I felt it and so did everyone else. including my best friend. being the kind of guy he is, he started to show more interest in me. I ignored it even though it was hard. I couldn't deny the fact I was attracted to him. until he came on too aggressively one night. trying to kiss me when my friend was in the other room. I told her about it.. and we both decided it was best not to talk to him anymore. well a year goes by. she started to date someone else and I start dating her brother. the other guy made ammends with us.. so we started to hang out again. we became good aquantences.. seeing each othere out all the time. until the same thing started to happen again. he started to hit on me and say inappropriate things knowing I was in a relationshiop... I told my boyfriend about it because I didn't want to hide something from him. my boyfriend got pissed and I ended the friendship with this guy... its been about a year.. we still have chatted a few times on fb. ran into each other a few tims at the bar. well I recently started to dream about him.. for the past 2 month its been like once a week. some are dirty. in the others (3) he is leaving me.. and I'm very upset about. he tells me there's no reason to stay. then he messaged me on fb out of no where. asked me how I was doing. and I told him about the dreams... he said he can't stop thinking about me. and he wants to be discreet.. he is now in a relationship also... I know this guy is a piece of sh*t.. but I still can't stop thinking about him... I don't think I want anything emotional with him. I just feel like we have unfinished business. basically, I fantasize about being with him intimately... I want him so bad.. even thinking about it makes me tingle down there... this is awful. I feel so guilty.. what do I do?

[Anonymous]

You should feel giulty because your man can't satisfy you in bed and it's hard to have a convo you are both interested in. I feel for you babe, I was in a simular situation and persued the other woman and I started having feelings for her. I would suggest if you wanted to repair the broken in your relationship with your boyfriend that you find something that interest you both. As far as sex, a lot of men don't know this but if a man eats healthy his libido will go threw the rough, literally. Tell him to drastically cut back on red meat and pasta, pizza etc, start eating white meat and fish and vegetables,no fried foods or rarely. I did that and went from wanting to have sex three times a week to having sex twice a day, no lie it really works. I also exercised too. If you want to be faithful you can, but I think you want something new! Good luck to you.

[Asker]

i appreciate you taking the time to respond... my mind has been going back and forth about everything for the past few days. I really love my boyfriend. what I need to figure out is if I'm still in love with him. this other guy keeps calling, texting, emailing and all that.. but I've decided to ignore. because at first it we flirted about the "what if".. now he is just being perverted every time he says something to me. and its kinda gross. I've realized that's not what I want. so thanks again.