Should I tell my fiance that I slept with someone else when he was in the jail? (This is important)

[Anonymous]

He was in the jail for two years and he left it without telling me. He went to my house and i freaked out when i saw him because i didn't know he left the jail (this was before a couple months). Now i feel really bad for not telling him about it because i'm afraid he might kill that guy for sleeping with me or maybe he will kill us both. I tried to stop thinking about what i did when i slept with my fiance but that made me realize my mistake, now i can't look at him because of what i did to him, I'm avoiding him and avoid his calls. I want to fix my mistake because i really love him.

[parkway]

If you loved him you would not have slept with another. If he went to jail he for sure learnt new skills on playing games. You are the one who chose a bad boy who went to jail. Don't tell him a thing, if you think he will kill you the chances are very good. If he has a parole officer tell him to make it known that you don't want to see him.

If bad happens it is because you made the choice to take a bad person into your life and then throw gasoline on the fire by screwing another. Buy some life insurance because you love him, Cemetaries and prisons are full of people who were once in love.

[Asker]

Please don't judge him! You don't know why he was in the jail.

[catpetter]

but he is right... crimes of passion do fill cemetaries. it is scary

[brainybutconfused]

I wouldn't offer up the information out of the blue, but if he asks you straight out or even hints that he is wondering if you ever cheated, you need to tell him for sure. If not, it will constantly bother him and he will look for evidence, not trust you, etc.

[xoshelly84]

i personally have never believed in that whole "what they dont know won't hurt them". if i cheated and didn't tell my bf i would feel shamefull, disrespectful, and like our relationship is not true... i know its hard to imagine because you wouldn't know but what if he cheated on you and didn't tell you? its even worse, like kicking dirt in your face.

[Asker]

I know but what should i do?

[xoshelly84]

i think you should tell him. timing is important, you can't just say it out of nowhere. you have to say that you have something important to tell him and sit him down and do it. be gentle, with an apologetic sincere tone. and just be honest. mention why you did it, how guilty you felt, how much you love and dont want to loose him, will never do it again, how you wernt sure if you wanted to tell him but now feel that you should, he should give you some credit for that even though it doesn't excuse what you did, and that you were working up the courage to tell him and thats why your doing it now.

[catpetter]

if he is a guy you are afraid of... BREAK Up with him.. if you are afaid he will hurt you if you do that go to a domestic violence shelter. then breakup with him

[catpetter]

if you knew how much danger... how can you think of spending you life afraid all the time?

[Asker]

I just don't want him to get in any trouble.

[catpetter]

He has not done anything yet. He won't be in trouble for doing nothing. But you know you are in danger. i am a domestic violence counselor.. danger. being with a man who can violent is very dangerous. Especially, if he even suspects you of cheating or leaving. do not tell him. and make a plan to leave. you can pm me

[Hellagood22]

If you're in fear of being KILLED, call the police?

[Asker]

No way! i can't want to lose him again.

[Orangekeuhn]

NO do not tell him if you think he might kill both of you get out of that relationship your in danger.

[kartoos]

If you really love him then just tell him. Even if you get killed we all will get a new story to live on and love will prevail ;) best of luck

[Virtuous]

Lol, just wow.

[kartoos]

Crazy isn't it?

[AloneLove]

Yeah u should and why did u sleep someone else? whyy u cheated on ur fiance

[Asker]

I was lonely and i needed him but he wasn't with me. I feel bad now and i want to fix it.

[AloneLove]

Honestly if my gf cheated on me its impossible to return her again -.- coz there was sexual relationship.. think about him if u r in jail and ur bf sleep someone elses. Can u forgive him easily?

[Asker]

No i can't.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Seriously? You couldn't make visitation arrangements? If you just want to hold hands with him, you don't need to have sex. Sleeping with someone else sounds like you had an itch, wanted to scratch it, and didn't give two hoots who got hurt.

If you really want all to be well, you have to come clean. Admit you did something worse than whatever he did, and that you hate yourself for it. Tell him that if he runs, you won't blame him. But that you'd like to still be near him. Forgiveness over something like that can take time. It can't happen right away. Those trust barriers need rebuilding.

[Asker]

@obscuredbeyond I did told him the truth and he forgive me for it because he did something worse than me and he went to jail for it but i forgive him. We get married and we're happy now, because he's not the same bad person like he really was.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell him.

[Asker]

How can i stop feeling guilty?

[catpetter]

Break up with him