How to overcome low self esteem from having a lazy eye?

[Anonymous]

So I have a lazy eye. I was born with it. My mom got the muscle pulled in my eye when I was 2. She says it didn't last long. We tried the patch. That didn't work either. I was really chubby growing up too. I recently lost weight and I'm starting to build confidence but every time I look in the mirror and notice my eye my confidence plummets. It's made me really self conscious, especially around guys. And I never look people directly in the eye which bothers a lot of people. I don't know what to do to help. It's made me so depressed lately.

[hypnicjerk]

There are treatments out there that offer hope of correcting lazy eye even in adults. You could look into finding a specialist if you haven't. Other than that, I can only push you to break the habit of avoiding eye contact through practice. Everyone has insecurities. I never really liked my nose, and then as a teenager I was in a car wreck, broke my nose and needed a whole bunch of stitches to put my face back together. It just enhanced my insecurity to add a bump and a scar on what I didn't like, right in the middle of my face. Eventually I got tired of feeling that way, pierced my nose and said fuck it if you don't like it. That attitude, in moderation, can be very therapeutic and it is something you can learn. PS? I dated a guy with a lazy eye for like 3 months before one of his friends called him 'a lazy eye motherf*cker' in front of me and I was like... oh, he does have a lazy eye. I never noticed it. He was still just as cute too.

[Asker]

Lol this made me laugh. But trust me. I've tried the fuck it attitude. It'll last for like a week. Then I'll take a selfie and it'll be perfect. Except for my eye!!! It's so frustrating. I try telling myself that it could always be worse but that only makes me feel worse.

[hypnicjerk]

Practice! You may never entirely master your critical feelings, but you can fake it! I swear, it will help. Going through the motions when you're a shy person or lacking confidence is proven to help confidence levels. Because you engage people as a more confident version of yourself, they react differently to you and provide reinforcement and it gets easier as you go along. I swear to god girl, commit to it and really try it, even if you want to run and hide for the first several times.

[Asker]

I'll try anything at this point. I don't want my eye to hinder me anymore. It's kept me from doing so much already.

[hypnicjerk]

Make a New Year's resolution for yourself! No more hiding because of insecurities. Highlight your positives and move on. I definitely want an update from you too

[Asker]

That's actually a good idea. I will definitely consider it! No more hiding because of insecurities. I'm gonna write that on my mirror.

[hypnicjerk]

Yes! You know what they say--you miss out on 100% of the chances you don't take

[Anonymous]

Have you actually seen a specialist about this recently? I used to have a lazy eye and got surgery about 14 years ago and it's still good. I think if it bothers you that much you should at least check with a specialist if anything can be done.

[Asker]

I got the muscle pulled in it when I was younger. It went back. My eye doctor never mentions surgery or anything.

[Opinion Owner]

When I had my surgery done they told me that it will loosen after a few years and the ssurgery has to be redone, I think generally it's about ten years. Mine has been 14/15 years ago and it's still fine. Maybe bring it up next time you see your eye doctor. Perhaps s/he isn't aware that this is something you would want to do. When I had mine done, I specifically asked him about the surgery and wasn't suggested it automatically.

[Asker]

I definitely will bring it up. I was under the impression that it was almost impossible to fix in adults

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe there are some extreme cases where it's harder. My age on here is actually wrong and I can't seem to fix it. I am 37 now and when I had the surgery I was about 23 and it wasn't a problem at all, and they told me that when the muscle gets loose again, I can simply have the surgery done again.

[Asker]

Oh ok well I'm 26. I'm definitely going to mention it to my doctor. Although I'm a bit nervous about eye surgery lol.

[Opinion Owner]

I was very scared of it because I guess nobody likes to have their eye touched hahaha. But it wasn't a big deal at all. The surgery itself was less than 30 minutes and to them it's a routine surgery. I think I had to stay in the hospital for two nights. After I looked like someone had punched me in the eye for a few days. But I'm really glad I did it. I also get much less headaches now that I don't have to constantly control my eye :D

[Asker]

It's odd that you mentioned headaches because I do suffer from them as well. I never thought they might be connected to my eye.

[Opinion Owner]

The headaches are definitely connected to it. It's incredibly tiresome and difficult for us to try to control that eye, even if we don't do it consciously. I could never read for very long and always covered up the eye that was bad which made the other eye get worse and worse as well.

[Asker]

Omg that's definitely what I go through and I love reading. I cover the bad eye and look at my phone or tv and it sucks. Hopefully I can get a breakthrough.

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so, too. It shouldn't be a problem at all!

[TheWiseOwl]

I have a lazy eye too and I don't notice it until I see my face in photographs and I think "damn boy, you look hideous" and then I forget about it after a few minutes. It's not nice this lazy eye business, but I haven't found that it hindered me in any way and I wouldn't write a girl off for having lazy eye.

[Asker]

Same here. I hate taking pictures because of it. I'm fine until I notice it, then I obsess over it.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Honestly, i look completely over flaws of a girl, it's that beautiful personality that matters to me
just think of nice guys who don't care about it i have flaws and if people want judge me let them
i got a sweet, pleasant personality not always right on things but hey no ones perfect.

[dakraziest]

Go to a psych, second know that humans are more then just computers we love people for who they are on the inside plus im sure u r noticing way more then it really is

[Asker]

I've been to a therapist for this, amongst other things before. And my friends tell me that it's hardly noticeable but I always notice it. When I look in the mirror, or try taking a picture or anything. And I know people aren't computers but I've had a guy tell me that my eye was the main reason he wouldn't date me so excuse me if the whole "we love people for what's on the inside" thing doesn't move me.

[dakraziest]

you are excused my dear but then again not every one is an asshole
if you had one bad apple that doesn't mean that every apple on the planet is bad
have a little faith in humanity

[Asker]

Yes I know everyone is different. But once you've experienced that it kinda makes me put my guard up.

[rufurrealz]

i have a hard time looking people in the eye too... i think girls with lazy eyes are cute.

[Asker]

You're like one in a million.

[jimjohn]

I'm dating a super hot chick right now that has a lazy eye. No biggie

[SaltandVinegar]

How bad is your lazy eye?

[Asker]

It's horrible in my eyes. Like I don't know how you want me to explain lol.

[SaltandVinegar]

like is one eye going off in another direction? a picture would really help.

[Asker]

That's what a lazy eye is. It's my left eye and it moves outward. And I would've just made this post unanonymous if that was the case.