Help! Boyfriend wants to keep relationship a secret.

[babiigurl]

So I'm in a relationship with a guy. He says he doesn't want anyone to know about us because "he doesn't like it" and once I just jokingly said that I told my school friends that I'm dating him and he got all worried. should I break up with him? because I asked my friends for advice and they think that he doesn't want anyone to find out probably because he's a cheater

please help!

[jdcpa]

he's not necessarily a cheater.. but that's standard player dialogue..

i dated girls that did that to me.. and I used to say that to people too..

this is what it basically translates to:

"I like you.. but I would like to see other people too.. to see if there's anyone better than you out there.. let the best man/woman win"

when you call him/her on it.. it's usually followed by a b/s justification:

- my cousins are very overprotective

- I don't want people to talk sh*t

- I don't want people to think I just from relationship to relationship

- I think we should give it some more time

- I don't want to move too fast.. I just don't want to get hurt

blah blah blah..

but if a guy likes you.. and you've already been physically and emotionally close.. and the intimacy is REAL.. and his feelings for you are REAL.. then HE WANTS to carry you around next to him and have the whole world know that you're his girlfriend..

otherwise.. he's either just using you for sex.. or he's seeing other people and you're still in the (being considered) stage in his mind..

i would be fair to yourself if I was you and keep your emotional distance from him.. so you do some damage control and don't set yourself up for getting hurt.. don't try and MAKE or FORCE a relationship to happen.. if he wants it.. it'll happen..

now he's put the ball in his court.. from this point on.. it's all on HIM to make you his girlfriend and let the whole world know.. if he doesn't.. please save yourself the emotional heartache and any more wasted time.. and just move on..

[twinklebee]

If your relationship is still fairly new(like in its first few weeks), it might be a good idea just to go with it for a bit, because I don't like telling people right away because I am afriad that it will jinx it or people may wnat to toy with it, which never ends well

but if he still doesn't want anyone to know after a few weeks, then cut him lose because that shows that he is not interested in somehting long term, he is interested, but also interested in other girls too. I've been down that path before.

play it cautiusly, act cool about it, but be aware of what he is up to, oh yeah and don't jump to conclusions it will hurt you in the long run. find facts and if the facts are too hard to take, let him go, if he returns then it was meant to be, if not it never was.

[sammy-d]

I was in a relationship like this for nearly 2 years. don't do it. It brings you down and you start to worry wats so wrong with you. He is the one in the wrong. give him an ultimatum. he tells people or you walk. and if he won't tell make sure you walk cause the longer you stay a secret the harder it becomes for you. x

[Anonymous]

He is either trying to keep his options open so he can cheat. He can't get other girls easily when people know he has a girlfriend.

Or he is embarrassed of you. Just dump this guy, you deserve someone who is gonna be proud of you not hide your relationship like it's some dirty little secret.

[Cool-Relax]

It usually isn't a good sign if a guy wants to keep his relationship a secret. Why exactly doesn't he want other people to know? Saying that he "doesn't like it" isn't a very good reason.