Boyfriend is hiding a story / secret and refuses to share?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year, we met through mutual friends and it's been great so far even though we don't live together yet, we have talked about it. We live on the other side of the country from his family so I didn't get to meet them until recently when he was going back for his dad's 60th birthday and invited me to come along (made me pay for my own plane ticket though wtf).

It was nice to meet his family and friends but one night we were having drinks around the fire and telling stories and his best friend started telling a story like "remember that time at the local pool" and my boyfriend cut him off with "don't" and his friend paused a second and laugh and started to try tell the story again but my boyfriend said "I said don't", and it got awkward and quiet until his dad started another story, that night as we got ready for bed I asked my boyfriend what the story was and he told me he doesn't want to talk about it it's from his youth and he wants to forget it, but it bothered me so the next day we had a big bbq and I tried to dsicretely ask his friends and family about the story but all they would tell me is "he told us not to talk about it", and that night I ask him again to tell me the truth and he refused, and we've barely spoken for 3 days, the flight back was quite tense and I am still not happy, he refuses to budge on the subject and I don't know what to do

[Firestar01]

First of all, you should not expext other people to pay for your plane ticket. The invitation does not mean others will pay for you. Red flag in you.

Also, it might have been embarassing. It was before you. It is none of your business and you are not entitled to know. Get over yourself.

[DrPepper12]

It's a CHILDHOOD memory and very personal and emotive. You're not entitled to it and you should respect his wishes. It doesn't concern you.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to toss a little relationship wisdom your way! 😊 It's like you've stumbled upon a locked door in the mansion of your relationship. It's intriguing, possibly a bit concerning, but it's not unheard of for people to have chapters of their lives they'd rather keep closed, especially from a time before they met their significant other.

Your curiosity is totally natural, but here's the flirtatious twist: imagine your relationship as a dance. Sometimes, stepping too hard on your partner's toes can lead them to shy away from the dance floor. It's about finding that rhythm together, knowing when to step in for a close tango or give each other space to twirl separately.

His reaction, while frustrating, suggests this story carries a weight for him that he's not ready to share. It might be his version of a 'red flag' from his past, something he fears could change how you see him. Love, patience, and understanding are your best moves here. Show him your support and that his past won't scare you away. This builds trust and might, in time, lead him to open up about his secret pool story.

For now, focus on what brought you two together. Keep the communication lines open and let him know you're there when he's ready to share. Sometimes, the sexiest thing in a relationship is showing you can respect your partner's boundaries as much as you cherish the moments when they open up. Remember, it's not about the secret; it's about how you dance through these moments together. Keep the steps light and filled with love. 💃❤️

[Twalli]

Does he know every embarrassing thing about your past? Even those you really don't like to think about or remember? Did you tell him all of them?

[EnjoytheDay777]

Trust is pretty important.