My boyfriend keeps me a secret from his friends?

[poppysox]

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years. We get on really well and are very close. All my friends know about him and he has met some of them. He has a lot of friends but he keeps different groups of friends separate from each other. None of his friends know about me and they don't even know he is dating anyone. I have tried to talk to him about it and he says he is a private person and doesn't want his friends gossiping about his business. He swears he is not cheating. We have similar backgrounds and I am attractive and sociable and get on easily with people. Why would a guy want to hide his girlfriend from his friends and not even tell one or two close friends?

[Tractorbeam]

I don't see this as good.He should be proud of you, and want you to meet his friends.
It looks like he's either not proud of you or his friends, or he's hiding something.I don't think it's ever good for a person to have friends they don't want to introduce to their partner.If his friend aren't good enough for you to associate with, he probably shouldn't associate with them either.

You're not likely to meet many of his friends during the first month of a relationship, but after that it's normal.There's more to this than just "friends gossiping about his business".If his friends are men, they're not likely to gossip (men have better things to do).

Whenever I visited friends, a partner was always welcome to come along if she wanted to.I wouldn't have it any other way, or expect any less from her.

[parkway]

He is cheating. Simple, everyone knows the girlfriend but you would be a mess to drag in.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Wow wow wow. My ex husband did this. I didn't meet his friends for like 10 years some of them. I was brainwashed. It sounds like you're headed in that direction
This is not normal nor is it acceptable.
I don't even know what to say. He is wanting to live a pseudo single life, for one thing. Even if they know about you, he's as good as single if they don't know you.
There's just so much wrong with this that it's not even worth explaining more.
Drop him, please do yourself that favor. Don't make excuses for him and don accept his BS excuses.
He doesn't want his friends gossiping... Because he has a girlfriend? Gossip about what exactly? And why is he friends with them then? This has NOTHING to do with being a private person, either.

[adriana89]

Honestly, I can only think three reasons for doing that.
1) He has someone else and you are "the other woman" -> walk away
2) He is embarrassed of you -> walk away (probably not likely when you say you're attractive and social)
3) He is embarrassed of his friends - > what is so bad there then? maybe walk away
4) He doesn't actually have any friends and is embarrassed to admit that -> not likely but possible, then you need to find out why this would be the reason

Anyhow, you need to confront him and have a honest talk. This is NOT normal behaviour in a relationship of 2 years.

[kelly173815]

Destroy his secret! I find that ridiculous, maybe keep it secret for the first few months but for two years? NO WAY! He has to come to terms that his friends should at least know about you. He may not want to divulge anything else about his private life to his friends but hiding a two year relationship is just plain weird, he should feel proud to show you off not hide you like a dirty little secret.

[virginguru]

My advice...

...destroy that secret without mercy! When he is with his friends wrap your arms around him and kiss him deeply, you make your relationship public and his friends won't think less of him; hell they may just think he's a stud.