Is it weird to ask an acquaintance if they want to hang out out of the blue?

[potsticker]

My question itself is admittedly rather strange but I just want to know other people's take on this since maybe I'm not self-aware about this kind of thing. I don't have many friends so I get really bored and lonely during Winter break from school. I've texted a few people I kinda know to see if they want to hang out or something, and usually nothing happens. Now to be clear, I'm not really good friends with these people. I would consider them aqaintances, and I've never hung out with these people before other than school and stuff. Anyway, I texted one guy maybe three times over the course of a few months (I didn't want to bother him repeatedly) and each time he said he was busy. I texted another guy about hanging out and he kind of awkwardly avoided the question. I texted a third guy like 6 months ago and he didn't even respond, and I know for certain that the number is correct. I just want to hang out with someone because I'm getting lonely again. Is it weird to ask someone if they want to hang out like that out of the blue? That might explain why no one seems to want to hang out with me. On the other hand, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I don't want to spam anyone or seem clingy though.

[Anonymous]

First of all, the problem is NOT that you're not trying hard enough. In fact, you're trying too hard (three text messages over the course of a few months is far too much, especially if he is not being responsive). And by that I mean, relationships of any kind seldom turn out well when one party is make more of an effort than the other. I used to be this way until one day I said, okay, I'm no longer going to be the one who goes out of my way to make friends and initiate "play dates." If I don't seen any interest, enthusiasm, or effort on the other person's part, I move on.

There are obviously two possibilities as to why these guys don't want to hang out with you: 1) they don't like you personally, 3) they think it's strange that you asked them if they wanted to hang out out of the blue - or 3) perhaps they really are busy, though it doesn't seem like it. Something to think about is, how was your relationship with these people while you were in school? Were you "friends" in class? If not, perhaps that's why they're not interested in interacting with you outside of school. And even if you seemed like friends in school, some people don't like pursuing friendships with classmates. There are some people who never say hi to me or even look at me unless we're in the class that I know them from. In the future, it may be a good idea to observe their behavior towards you in class before asking them to hang out.

On a side note, I believe it's unhealthy to feel lonely without the presence of another person. Perhaps you can try finding ways to occupy yourself that don't involve others. That way, you can avoid situations like this where you want to hang out with someone, but they don't feel the same way. Personally, I'm fine without people and I never get bored because I always have something to do (I'm an artist). In fact, that's the way I prefer it; I'm not fond of people to begin with. But if I end up hanging out with a friend, I'm fine with that too.

Good luck.

[potsticker]

First of all, thank you for taking the time to write a long response. It shows that you care about my situation, and you've brought up some interesting points. I have found ways to occupy myself at home with anything you can do at home really, and I usually enjoy being alone, to a point. I've gotten far from that point though. I need to be around people. I have a gnawing desire to have companionship. I almost feel like I'm in solitary confinement now. My entire free time is spent pretty much spent on the internet since it's the only place with people to talk to. Frankly I just want to get a life. I want a social life, but it's so hard to make friends since I'm an introvert.

[Opinion Owner]

Hm. I'm not sure what to say regarding your desire to be around people since I myself have never been in this kind of predicament.) Perhaps you can join a club at school, if you're in college, that way you can meet people who share similar interests as you.
Do you have family? Do they live close by? You can visit them for a while (though I realize your visit won't last forever). If you spend a lot of time on social media, it's probably not doing you any good because often people will just look at other people's profiles and feel miserable about their own lives. Take a yoga class or an art class at your local community center. (I'm just thinking of all kinds of stuff.)
By the way, I realize I wrote 1), 3), 3), instead of 1), 2), 3) in my original answer. Ha ha…
Anyway, good luck.

[Koolz123]

Give them a call brotha, catch up a little and then ask if their down to chill if they dont pick up text them to get a convo going

[potsticker]

So I should start a conversation with them for a little while first and then see if they want to hang out?

[Koolz123]

Yeah yo, you hit the nail on the head right there!

[Error_204]

That's odd, yes.

[Nothing_]

That would be weird.

[potsticker]

Awesome thanks, now I know! Do you agree with Koolz123 though that if you start a conversation with them first and then ask them it would be less weird?

[Nothing_]

No! Don't call them. That would make you sound more needy.

Start a convo through text then if it goes good, set up a hanging out time.