What to do when your boyfriend says another girl is hotter than you?

Question

I got in an argument with my boyfriend earlier today. I was going through instagram and Facebook accounts that we share and noticed that all he really does is like all these hot girls pictures that live around the area. Well it makes me jealous and mad, so I said to him "oh but you want other girls too" after something he said. He replied with "If you say so. Jordan is hotter then you ;)" (Jordan is one of the three girls he's told me he'd like to date if we weren't together. I had asked him about two weeks ago if he had a crush on anyone else before and after convincing him he told me.) 
Anyways after I read that text my jaw completely dropped. I am still in shock. I just poured my eyes out crying and haven't replied since. 
Side note: we have been together for over two & half years and I do know he loves me so I don't understand how he could say this.
What are his intentions by saying this?
How should I treat this situation?

unbothered · Accepted Answer

Hello There:) First off, STOP CRYING. I know that it hurts like H*LL but try to stop crying. Let it out and once you have, try to let it go for a moment. When your emotions are running at an all time high, it clouds your judgment and prevents you from making sound decisions. It's good that you did not respond to the text though, as anything said would've no doubt sent you into emotional overdrive so distance from him right now is good. This guy may have once been a perfect Prince Charming but he is no longer. Process that first. Secondly, someone that loves you would not say things to destroy your spirit such as he did. A guy that is occupying the "Boyfriend Seat" is the guy that cherishes you, encourages you, supports you, uplifts you and makes you feel great about yourself, not a guy that makes you feel insecure or low by saying that another girl is more attractive than you. He is not boyfriend material for YOU. Regardless of what may have sparked the comment, it was indeed below the belt and unnecessarily hurtful. If he knows you as well as he should, then he no doubt knew that the comment would really hurt you, so the fact that he deliberately attempted to destroy you says a lot about his character as a person. Furthermore, social media sites tend to cause riffs in relationships for these very reasons. It would be best to unfriend him and to stop searching for photos of other girls that he has liked. It won't make you feel better. It sounds like whatever he has been doing or not doing has brought anxiety to you; you were badgering him about other girls, why? does he make you feel insecure? jealous? these are more reasons that you should not be with him anymore. Don't text, call or message him. Ever again. Just break it off cold turkey. Even if he attempts to apologize, you will never forget this. End it now.

LovingLife139 · Accepted Answer

Yikes! Sounds like there's a lack of respect for you on his part. Here's the thing: even if a boyfriend/spouse finds other women more attractive than his mate, he needs to make sure to have enough respect for her not to tell her so bluntly. It also speaks of a lack of maturity. Yes, you got jealous, which is a normal human thing to feel when you see that your boyfriend is not only looking at other women (which is normal), but going out of his way to follow them and like their photos. Even if he thought your reaction was unwarranted, his reply to you was callous. A simple, "I didn't realize this hurt you. You know that I've been committed to you for over two years, so I hope you know that I want YOU" would have sufficed.

He may or may not intend anything by what he said. It seems like it was just a crude and disrespectful thing to say. Let me tell you this: my husband and I have been together for ten years. We were 16 and 21 when we met and began dating. He NEVER once said anything close to resembling this. Did he think it? Maybe, who knows? But the point is that he respects me enough that he never said it, not even to try to get a reaction out of me, and not even to get "back" at me in an argument. There are certain lines partners do not cross, and this is one of them.

My advice to you: ultimately, you decide your own fate, but if this was me, this boy would be out of my life. "She's hotter than you" are not the words of a man, but of a boy stuck in a high school mentality with no regard to your feelings or your worth. You've been with him for over 2.5 years, which is 2.5 too long. Find someone who is worthy of your time and affection and has respect for others, particularly the person with whom he chooses to share his bed with.

Maebe · Accepted Answer

I think since this was over text it may have been miscommunitcated? MAYBE. i'm not sure because i'm not him. he could've been serious or maybe he was just trying to flirt a little by teasing you and pushing your buttons. I know for me at least me and a guy i used to be with would get into play fights over how our celeb crushes were better. I used to joke and tell him how hot i thought luke hemmings was and how the guy i was seeing couldn't compete. He'd say similar things about ariana grande. It was really just to tease eachother and neither of us got bothered because it wasn't serious

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

I would say, "Why the hell are you with me then?" and then leave him so he could be with any of those other girls he apparently desires so much.

You see, it's not the fact that a boyfriend may find other women more attractive, I am well aware that there are MANY better looking women in the world, it's simply the fact that no guy should ever actually say that to his girlfriend. If my boyfriend felt the need to tell me that, it's a sign that he doesn't respect me and that's not someone I would want to stay in a relationship with.

justbanANNAz · Accepted Answer

wow... well, this would hurt me too, but the only excuse i can make for him is that he's trying to make u jealous. maybe he likes seeing u get upset when he compliments other women. he may not even mean it.

if he did mean it, i guess u should confront him hun=/ just tell him that u feel like ur falling short of his affection and impressing him. believe me, i get it. nothing is worse than not feeling beautiful to ur man. just try to understand why he did it and hopefully u can move through it together.

wonderhappytime · Accepted Answer

lemme ask you something. do you think there are hotter men out there? if you could copy your boyfriends personality to a man with a sexier body, would you trade men? you'd be stupid if you didn't. greater abs, sexier arms, all your enemies who ever hated you would be jealous of the guy you snagged. lemme flip this situation around. do you think there are hotter women out there than you? if jordan had personality traits like you, but a sexier body than you, i'm sure he would trade. lemme put it in another way to show why your thinking is wrong.

when your 50 and he is all saggy and fat, unwilling to get off his ass from the couch, would you rather date a younger man? and when you no longer want sex and look like a saggy potato, wouldn't he want a younger girl?

look none of this was meant to offend you. i'm just making you see the true meaning behind your words. i'm dating too, and yes i notice girls that don't have a flat chest like my girlfriend does. i notice girls who are cuter. but that doesn't mean ill leave my girlfriend because of that. there are moments we create that can't be copied to a persons body. memories that bond our love together. thats the shit, the reason why i'm not leaving her for a hotter sexier body. when he says he would date jordan, remember he still ended up choosing you. thats the men you want to marry. when you tell us that you got offended by him saying that, you are telling us you don't trust that your boyfriend loves you, and you are emphasizing physical appearance as the foundation if love, and it is not.

DodgersGM · Accepted Answer

Why does he tell you girls that he'd date if he wasn't with you?

And why are you asking him if he likes anyone else? Is there a reason there?

Him saying that wasn't cool. Whether he meant it or not, he knew that it would bother you. Maybe he felt like you were nagging him, so he decided to respond this way? Regardless of that, what he said was pretty cruel. He was either being intentionally provocative or he's just a total doofus.

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I'm with someone she is the hottest one to my eye. Sure, the world is filled with attractive people, but your partner is special. People might think I'm being P. C. with this opinion, and that's fine; that's just how I feel.

softenchantress · Answer

That's very cruel and mean of him... You don't say hurtful things to people you love - that's not love. If he knows you then he knows the impact of that comment. A comment like that from my man would break me.
Plus if he loves you, truly then you will be the most beautiful being in his eyes.
I am sorry but I would have told him "well we aren't so go have your Jordan - you hurtful, callous, cold-hearted prick!!" But then again I have a short fuse towards douchebag behaviour and that statement would have probably escaped my lips before I had a chance to consider or weigh it...

Scmitch · Answer

Gosh if he is that disrespectful I'd kick him to the curb. A man who loves you will think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. He doesn't deserve your love. Trust me, if he's fantasizing about that, then see ha is what I'd do. In a relationship it's okay to demand respect. If he doesn't and you do. It is time to move on. That makes me so sad. I'm sorry you had to go through that~

LittleSally · Answer

Him saying "If you say so. Jordan is hotter then you ;)" - sounds like a playful taunt to me, but in context of him wanting to date other women is worrying.
Maybe you need to talk things out - obviously there's something you feel that he might have no idea about. You don't trust him anymore. That IS a problem.
He looks at other girls - on the street - completely normal, looking for them on the internet (girls that live close by, girls he could actually meet) - gotta say, worrying again.

Talk - don't let him tease the situation away, be serious.

Peachy7 · Answer

If he tells you who he would date if you weren't together then dump his sorry ass because he shouldn't want anyone else. That's not really love is it if he does want someone else? He should only want you. He really shouldn't be thinking about other girls. I wouldn't give him the time of day. (That's just me I don't mean to be hurtful or offensive, :( sorry!) That's my honest opinion but I don't really know he full story and if you really love him then that's up to you. If you had said something hurtful before had in a fight, he is obviously going to retaliate and try and get even. Or maybe it's just his way of joking and breaking the ice with a sarcastic hurtful comment and ending it with a ";)" face to let you know that your not fighting anymore. Asking him yourself, I think would be best.
Good luck! :) Hope this helps

Helen200 · Answer

Oh my god. If my boyfriend ever said that to me.. I would punch him or get my brothers to kick his as* That is so disrespectful. If he truly loved you he would never tell you that. He would make sure that you knew that he thought you were the most beautiful girl. I've had boys that have had crushes on me but I wasn't dating tell me I was beautiful or gorgeous but they made sure to make me feel like I wasn't the average girl. I'm so sorry that he said that and you've cried :( honestly you should tell him that it made you cry and has offended you and tell him that if he thinks this Jordan chick is so hot that maybe he should go date her instead.. Or be like well Jordan's too hot and would never date you.. I don't know how you are.. But I'm a very bull headed person and a strong believer of standing up for oneself. And I don't believe that men get to walk over women and have nothing be said

AnnabelLee23 · Answer

Sounds to me like he was taking a jab at you for making him answer a 'no-win' question...

Its one thing to talk about the attractiveness of celebrities or unattainable people, but he's actively looking at and thinking about the pursuit of other women... Let him go. He's not grade A material.

Also, I should mention, after you leave his ass... You might want to check your insecurity, and jealousy a little bit. Its alright to take note that your man 'likes' other women's photos, but try not to let it get to you. We're all beautiful, and you can't be upset if he uses his eyes.

DancingWithDragons · Answer

I'd say, "then go date her" and stop talking to him. I don't stand for a guy disrespecting me in saying he finds others more attractive than I and prefers to date them. If he wants to date them then I'll let him go because realistically he's probably close to cheating or dumping me if he's saying like that talking about girls he'd want if we weren't together. Either that or he's just a flaming imbecile who doesn't know how to treat a gf and in that case I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy who's to dense to understand how to treat me right and know boundaries.

LaDouleurExquise · Answer

if this happened to a man he might have a bruised ego but he wouldn't be an emotional wreck. clearly women are not used to the idea that they're not the center of the universe, but finding out that you're not actually the hottest girl in the world--shouldn't be that much of a shocker. if you're sane. or practical. or whatever. finding out that you're not the hottest girl in the area shouldn't be a surprise either, especially if you live in a large metropolitan area. I guess what i'm saying is, is it an insensitive thing to say? Yep. Should he have said it? probably not. Is it true? Probably. Did he say it specifically to hurt your feelings? Maybe. Maybe he's just an airhead with a poor brain to mouth filter.

either way, you should probably take it as a learning lesson to not be so goddamn full of yourself as to think you're the hottest girl ever to walk the face of this earth, but also tell your boyfriend to next time keep shit like that to himself cause it hurts

PhotoChick87 · Answer

People tend to say things they don't mean while having an argument. But in my personal opinion I think when you get into an argument you will get the honest truth out of people. Yes there are other girls that may be prettier than you but the fact that he said that to you is very disrespectful. If you truly love someone or care you would not say those things whether your mad or not. Although he's with you, he could be thinking about Jordan. I will say to you not to text nor call him. Because silence is the best argument. If he truly care for you he's gonna hit you up. And wonder what's going on with you. But I think you should take some time for yourself just to calm down and figure if this is someone you want to be with. I have a question who ignited the argument?

JackKerouac77 · Answer

I love GaG, because it gives me more and more evidence every day of why I shouldn't be on Facebook/Instagram/Tinder/Pinetrest/Friendster/what the fuck ever

Y'all have been together two and half years, so just spice it up by kicking him in the nuts.

Or tell him you've converted to Scientology and that y'all should go off to the ocean together.

What can I say? You can't really fix stupid.

Kshppatel · Answer

Lol your boyfriend is retarded. Why would he even say that? Mind equals blown. But that is not the reason you should dump him. You should dump him because he spelled "than" wrong. Serious.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

If a guy says this to you please make sure u don't give him anymore pussy. He clearly doesn't think very highly of u to be saying that

no26108108 · Answer

Shoot.. id say if you want her go get her. Just because a womens hotter dosent mean he would be happier with her. If he does get a shot she might do the same thing to him. Karma. there's always going to be someone better looking out there. No need to waste time on jelousy and be treated wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

You may be too young to follow my what to dos but here goes...
Guys will always LOOK at other gals but they choose more wisely who they STAY with, therefore IF you don't shoot yourself in the foot & force him away & towards these lookers, he's with you to stay, so kill the drama, insecurities and arguments... people don't care to change under those circumstances anyway.
You could begin to emulate those top lookers in order to both titillate him and tease him, since "that's what he likes" (what guys like changes like the wind... be glad he's ticking to you w/o change)

Guys are all mouth and everything coming out is either
how cool they are via some association or trophy
or
how to get more sex out of you
Both of the above apply to keeping lookers around... think about it
he feels cool by association
and oddly thinks you'll provide more sex in competition with them

Hubris · Answer

Don't share accounts in a relationship. That's asking for a fight every time.

That said, the relationship and conversation seem fairly juvenile, and I'm willing to bet you're not much over 18, if you are at all. You both need to learn to disagree without bickering like children, or the relationship is going to tank, if it hasn't already.

Roycaryn · Answer

There was absolutely no reason for him to say anything like that. It's just a very bad character flaw on his part.

Azara · Answer

Tell him he's free to ask her out. Literally free. He's dumped.

Of course someine cating you doesn't mean you are the most attractive most intelligent most anything... However in a heakthy relationship you are the most to them. And even if not , only an ass would throw it in someone's face.

Not intersted in being with someone who doesn't value our relationship.

RockaFella · Answer

well that means your not keeping his attention. Maybe you've gained weight, or stoped somethinf you use to do. but he has found potential in other woman that he dosnt see in you. Does that makr him a bad person? Yes and no. yes because in a relatioship you shluldnt give your eyes. to another. No because he. is only human and apparently he isn't satisfied in what you have to offer. contempt? maybe. satisfied? no

Janett21 · Answer

If he really loves you, for him you will be the most beautiful one. His behaviour wasn't nice at all.. Now I dont know if he meant this but I dont know if I could manage to stay in this relationship after this. These kinds of thing are not good to be said to your partner, and he should be aware of this. How would he feel if you would say the same for another guy?

findingdreamland · Answer

Honestly his behavior is very rude, whether he meant or not. He is your boyfriend, not someone on the street. His interests should be on you not on someone else s. Being beautiful, finding someone more hotter is just bullshit. Relationships are not found on beauty. There are way more important things. If he's not aware of this, then that is it.
He wants a breakup. Then give it to him.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

what a dick lol. if you watched The Office, did you see how pissed off Pam got when Roy said to Jim (right in front of Pam) "if I wasn't dating Pam right now then I would totally hit that", fucking idiots bruh hahaa. your bf is just another idiot. his only hope might be to learn the hard way.

BabyImAUFO · Answer

he's playing you're emotions be ause you let him. next time just say, im sure there's plenty of people hotter than you and I.. haha

murphtheman · Answer

its time to move on! this guy is obviously looking at all of his options and will eventualy hurt you. Your young and 2.5 years is a long time. Believe me that you will find more better guys in the near future. Enjoy him for what he is until you find a replacement

BaileyJansen · Answer

After almost 3 years, maybe he's not attracted to you anymore? He may want new girls. He sounds disrespectful and rude.

If he isn't telling you that you're THE MOST beautiful girl in the world.. he isn't worth the time.

Don't take the relationship so far that you get to the marriage stage. You don't want to be married to someone like this.

hominid98 · Answer

Well he seems to be a idiot telling you such things. But one should not judge others so casually. Maybe he did that so that you want him more than ever. Thats the best case scenario. Or maybe his loyalty changed and he loves someone else now. (Happened with me once. Luckily I hadn't proposed anyone then. So no harm caused). Thats the worst case scenario.
Talk to him and find out what he actually meant and try to solve them. If some other problem arises, we are here to help.

sawno · Answer

Relax you took it the wrong way.
While very blunt the way i see it is a sarcastic way of saying you shouldn't worry. He truly thinks she is hotter and yet he is with you , loving you. Thats says something right? While he finds her physically more attractive he loves you way more.

AnnaMariee0412 · Answer

I think he's trying ti make you jealous , maybe you should try spending more time together. But I dont blame you for being upset. Im a sensitive person myself so I couldn't imagine. But depending on the type of guy your boyfriend is. But I say he's just trying to make you jealous for most part , if he didn't wanna be with you im sure he would have already gave off hints that he didn't want to be with you or just broke up already. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless its becoming an everyday situation

noneyabusi · Answer

what the fuck? Excuse my French but that's horrible. You should say tell him that "if you two weren't dating" he wouldn't be able to get those girls anyway. Sure we all think that people are attractive and there's nothing wrong with that, but to say that out loud or to text you that is wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

That is a BIG nono. You can't do anything about what he might be thinking, but he should know better than to say that with you around or with anyone around for that matter. He's made a commitment to YOU and if he can't honor that commitment then dump him. Also, if he tried to defend his words, that probably means that he doesn't see what's wrong with what he said, which, by extension, means he probably doesn't care either. I obviously don't know either you or him, but based on what you said, he is an ass. If nothing else, he could've reworded what he said, but chose not to. That's on him to live with, and on you to decide what to do about it.

... But, hey, that's just my two cents

kangy · Answer

I find him insensitive to make that remark, guys tend to be insensitive.
why dont u try to compliment another guy infront of him and check his reaction?
tbh, I would be little jealous and if he make that remark on me, I would be upset and tick him off.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone finds other people attractive in their relationships, if he had any respect for you though he wouldn't be telling you he is thinking of other women he would actually like to date, not fuck, but date. That's really horrible of him. Why would your boyfriend want to date other women? Sounds like this may not be 'the one'. Sorry.

kellytheman · Answer

I think since u guys were arguing he might said something that he regrets in the heat of the moment. I say wait see whar he says if he is sorry forgive him but if he doesen't either dump. him. or go to couple counseling and resolve some issues. No guy should say that anothervl girl is hotter than the one he dating also he should stoplooking at other girls because he might then cheat.

PinkFreud · Answer

All guys cheat or eventually get bored. Keep that mentality and you won't be so shocked an heart broken when the next asshole comes around. As for this asshole, get rid of him. You don't need that kind of disrespect.

godfatherfan · Answer

If any guy says another woman is hotter then his woman, unless of course he is teasing you or joking around, then he is a complete moron and you need to find someone else. No decent man would ever say something that stupid to his woman.

jjodllwedo · Answer

you deont do anything unless his going to start cheating on you. there will always be hotter people then you and uglier people then you. deal with it. as simple as that.

Anonymous · Answer

I suggest you to look at his mood. Guys usually say such thinhs but they dont mean that actually. I also say somtimes similar but have never cheated. So i guess he was just pteasing you. So be optimistic and behave like mature girl unless he really do it. Good luck:-)

vblow · Answer

Dump him and run... Sorry, but when a guy starts talking about our commenting on other ladies he really doesn’t care if you are hurt or not. One of these days he will be with one of them and you may be the last to know... Have a bit of dignity for yourself and get rid of this creep now... It doesn't matter what he says it will be self-serving and until another girly girl is in place. Don't feel bad about it either because he will treat her the same exact way...

badger25 · Answer

Well you are always going to find other people attractive. He's stupid to actually say he would date her if you two were not together. But you did open the door a little when you asked him about liking a photo on IG

serp777 · Answer

how do these guys get girlfriends? Seriously they must have some magical powers.

GrownUp · Answer

act like you are dead and never move again till he leave the house.. he shouldn't say any stuffs like that.. this is so rude..

Belzedla · Answer

You should beat his ass!! That's what you should do! He wouldn't like it, if you thought other guys are hotter!

Prettygurl12 · Answer

My boyfriend knows better than to say something like that. I know I'm not the hottest person in the world but he acts like it so it makes me happy.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him about all the guys you think are hotter than him and if you've had sex with another guy before, tell him who had the nicest dick and how you miss it.

But then say "oh I'm sorry, I thought we were playing a game?" When he throws a fit.

jackyct · Answer

I'd dump him probably If his behavior doesn't stop. What he's trying to do is keeping his options open.

Zachary1317 · Answer

He just wants to make you jealous, and he succeeded. He just wants to know you care is all. Men need positive reinforcement as much as women do.

Anonymous · Answer

Dump him. He doesn't even say "Than you"... he put "then you..." you need someone uplifting with good grammar in your life ;)

Anonymous · Answer

Make him suffer
dont let him touch your body

Make him want u more.
Dont dump him
do things which will make him wanting only u
guys mind get diverted very soon
so do something which will make him go crazy after u

genericname85 · Answer

Easy: be proud, that he choose you over her for your character. There are always hotter chicks than you in this world.

Slowliquid · Answer

Yeah, you should probably dump him

AmberDawnxo · Answer

Ugh then Id hate him lol. I would probably be likely to brake it off as well :(

madiangel · Answer

I usually enjoy fucking the girl with him... If she is ok with it of course.

RationalMale · Answer

The simple lesson is, be careful what you ask! You might not like an answer, and someone might not be feeling nice enough to lie to you and tell you what you want to hear.

Marrryyyyy · Answer

he's being honest, but awful too. just explain that it hurt your feelings.

Crazyced · Answer

What did he tell you that prompted you to say: "oh but you want other girls too"

stevephillips706 · Answer

say another guy is hotter than him and see how he feels about that

veronica44 · Answer

You have to ask yourself why you are with such a tosser.

--clueless__ · Answer

I would have broke up with him there and then what a twat!😑

05Jueey · Answer

Omg. What a thoughtless thing to say. I'm sorry. I feel for you. Tell him exactly how you feel

PhoenixItalian · Answer

You should get over the fact that other women are "hotter" than you but that doesn't make them better.

Anonymous · Answer

This exact thing happened to me many times. We were very in love, but he still chose them instead of me and we broke up.

What to do when your boyfriend says another girl is hotter than you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What to do when your boyfriend says another girl is hotter than you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.