Why can't he just tell me to leave him alone if that's what he really wants?

Almost 2 years ago I met this guy through a friend. He and my friends boyfriend at the time were simply meant to take us to birmingham for clothes show live but we couldn't make it, therefore we all spent the day chillin together.

He and I got on well but it wasn't like a set up, we ended up sleeping together that same night, out of nowhere he just lunged at me and kissed me. The next day on the way home he cooly picked up my phone while he was driving and added his number...from here we always talked on the phone or online and would see each other when we could...

4 months in I decided to tell him I wanted more, he said he wasn't really into relationships but to me it already felt like that's what we had. He basically said we were friends with benefits and I accepted this because I didn't want to lose what was already there.

So far so good til I started accusing him for not caring about me, using me, that I hated him, wished I never met him etc.

And after just over a year, this april he finally said 'fine, I don't care anymore'...and we stopped speaking.

I feel bad because he DID care, he was there to listen to my troubles and he was good at helpin me feel better bout situations and myself etc.

After april I seemingly got over him, he wasn't on my mind AT ALL til two weeks ago...I was reminded of him a few times and now all that hurt from losing him is back and I want to make it work, I just want to be friends again because we were on the same level intellectually and we got on so well.

I tried calling him, he sent a text sayin 'wot is it?', so he never deleted my number, and then when I called him again he just answered the phone but didn't say anything.

Then a week later I told my best friend how I saw his name 3 times within 10 minutes and how I wondered if he was ok, so she called him from her phone and told me just to ask him...so I did, he said he was fine, he wasn't rude or anything, and then my friend took the phone again before I hung up and talked him round to speaking to me again, on Facebook to start with...she said how I was different now etc...which is the truth to a certain extent.

So I've added him but he hasn't accepted my request, I've tried textin to ask how he is and I finally sent him another text askin him to give it another try and if he doesn't want to then to text me with a simple no.

why would he ask what's wrong, or answer and say nothing, or say he'll give the friendship another chance then not take the steps to move forward from there? why hasn't he just told me to leave him alone like I said he could? does he still care? what should I do? I said I'd call him on sunday to speak about it, what can I do to bring him round and to trust that I WON'T be the way I was again? I really value him as a friend and I don't think I'll ever get over it if I can't make this work :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • The best set of advice I can give you is the same thing I told someone else believe it or not you cannot expect to have a "REAL" relationship with someone that you gave the goods to the same night mainly why I say that is because once you give up your body to a man you skip everything that you were suppose to gain like trust love friendship which is suppose to come before any relationship sorry to say that this situation seems to be your fault although temptation can be very

    hard to resist I mean you just cannot want a relationsip with someone you have sex with the same night he probably figures he got what he wanted from you so it really doesn't matter I mean he is a jerk for not talkin to you but this seems to be a lesson learned get to know the person next time I mean if a man figures a woman is easy he feel like he doesn't have to put forth and effort or friendliness of any kind ya know be stronger next time and he doesn't want to talk to you just let it go

    it does not seem liek he thinks much of you anyway especially if he's ignoring you 9 times out of 10 he's seeing somebody else who is absorbing his time and possibly even laughing at you sorry it's just the truth some men are completely ass holes and they figure if you don't care they don't care.


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What Guys Said 1

  • mianicbrn: wake up, smell the coffee.

    It's over.

    You're better off without this guy.

    Please set up boundaries between you and him.

    Unfortunately, I'm not available. At least, that's what my wife says.



What Girls Said 1

  • your story is wayyy too long you might wunna make it a little shorter next time if you want people to read it... sorry I didnt... way too long!