Why do I keep thinking about the guy I cheated with?

[Anonymous]

I can't stop thinking about this guy! He is on my mind everyday dang near. When I wake up, go to sleep. I even have dreams of him and keep replaying everything in my head like how it all went down. We no longer talk because he pulled away. He said it was just crazy. I also got clingy by texting him everyday through the drama of it all with my husband. I don't like this at all. I don't like how I feel. Why can't I forget him? He acted like he wanted more than a hook up from me. He said he was sorry for it all and that it was all his fault when stuff blew up. I want to reach out to him and tell him how I feel that I keep thinking of him and I miss talking with him. I feel so lost. My heart aches and feels heavy but I feel empty and lost. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to work it out with my husband, but I get sad and break down when I think of the guy. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if I should reach out to him. I don't know if he'll even want to talk to me. I don't know if he has somebody now. It's been 3 or 4 months since all this happened and still can't shake it. I think I'm doing fine and moving on but I break down and cry because I miss him. I've never cheated before in my life. I don't know if that's why I feel like this... never having been in this situation and not knowing how to handle. I want to tell my husband about it, but I'm scared to because I'm fearful of how he'll react. I met this guy through mutual friends and he knew I was married and still put the moves on me and I got hooked. There was literally something about him when we met that I felt instantly! I just need advice and help on how to handle this and maybe some explanation on why I can't stop thinking about him! It's driving me crazy because I feel like my close friends are tired of talking about this with me. I've been dealing with this alone for 2 months maybe... my silent battle.

[incognito121]

Your guilt is tearing you up and it won't be long until it ruins the relationship with your husband. You are missing the little bit excitement that you were getting with him instead of your husband. I can't believe that you could do this to your husband, a marriage is for good and bad maybe if you had put more effort into your marraige instead of seeking outside excitement you wouldn't be feeling this way... i actually dislike people who do this to other people, it ruins lifes and karma is a bitch, so from me to you take what comes to you because it won't be nice and it won't be easy. But i would do something soon before your husband finds out or. you ruin your marraige with guilt.

[Asker]

I did put effort into my marriage for years and always got shot down. I was fine just dealing with it all until this guy came along with his silver togue and the lonely house wife fell for it. My husband blames himself for a part of it as well because he knew he was being selfish with his time and not being a good husband. We are working on marriage and he's said he'll do anything to keep me. I'm wanting to tell him about this... how I've been feeling but I don't know if I should.

[Anpu23]

If you are trying to work things out with your husband, let him go! Yes you will have fond memories and maybe even think about him from time to time, but he is in the past as he should be. You will never be able to BE with your husband if you keep one foot out of the door.

[Bastian93]

Cause you're a slut. I feel sorry for the guy which whom you betrayed. Too many sluts nowadays smh.

[incognito121]

Too true

[Asker]

Thanks. I already know, I did a slut move. I feel like sh*t. My husband knows. He blames himself a bit too because he knows he could have been a better husband and wasn't. He traveled for work a lot and knew he wasn't the best when he was home. We are working on marriage and I want open up to him about it.