I wish I could read his mind just for 1min! Help please

[Anonymous]

He gets squeamish when I get even slightly emotional, trusting or complimentary towards him, wtf?

Examples of what I mean:

Emotional: He'll tell me he's having a bad day or that he's nervous, I'll ask why, he'll ignore me

Trusting: I'll tell him a secret, then I'll do something to offend him (intentional or unintentional, doesn't matter) he'll tell it to his bff

Complimentary: "You look hot" he'll look away and mumble thanks awkwardly

We've hooked up twice before but never got any more serious than that. I really don't know how he sees me. So I tried prying a little bit and he told me he doesn't and won't ever be able to see me as a friend of his.

What does that mean? Is he subtly telling me to get out of his life?

In person we get along well, smiley and polite but when we text or msn or email he always sounds on guard, defensive and ready to fight, what's that about?

Sure I haven't been outwardly nice to him all the time and I try not to be on purpose so as to not lead him on... but now that he's told me we can't be friends, I think I want to date him!

Any clues what's going on in his head?

[madmisskelly]

From what it seems like it seems like you see this as more serious than what he sees it as. It sounds harsh and I don't mean to be- I just want to be honest.

When some guys are just hooking up with a girl they tend to stay away from pretty much anything that resembles a relationship, So the whole telling secrets thing doesn't interest him because he sees no reason to earn and keep your trust just like he feels no need to confide in or trust you. The same goes for getting emotional or going beyond the surface. It becomes too much like a relationship and he will distance himself from that. His awkwardness in general could be that he feels like you are taking it more serious than he is.

If you want to keep your hookup I suggest being more aloof and take things at face value. When he says he's had a bad day- tell him you're sorry and that it sucks and then drop it.

dont tell each other secrets- if he tells you some, awesome, if not its fine.

[csulbfriend]

Hmm, first part of your post makes me think he likes you.

Second part either means he can only see you as a possible girlfriend, or literally as not part of his life. However if you haven't done anything to him, I doubt its the latter, unless he has serious issues of depression or what not.

He might be insecure, and block out people he's interested in, so that he may not get hurt.

If you do like him, I say go for it. If I was in your position I would consider it a win/win situation.

1. Because if he's actually insecure, actually likes you, and just doesn't know how to show it, then you got a possible date / relationship. Though he would have to later work on those insecurities.

2. If he really want's you out of his life... you'll be saved the time and trouble trying to find that out. Therefore, you'll be freed from an obviously bad friendship.

Hmmm, I think that's all I wanted to say...

CSULB FRIEND!

[Asker]

How do I do it though? What would you suggest? Face-to-face or like a text msg or something?

[csulbfriend]

Sry for late response...

People always say avoid text messages regarding these things. So I guess it has to be face to face, or by telephone. As far as what you should say to him, that's not my forte.