My boyfriend took care of a drunk female friend?

[Pickledpeaches]

Gah, I'm fuming. My boyfriend (he's 26 and I'm 25 and together for almost a year) went out to celebrate a friend's birthday and ended up going partying afterwards. He was out with a group of people and a girl of this group, who is also his friend and classmate, got ridiculously drunk. She (girl 1) got to the point where she was puking all over herself for, according to him, two hours straight. So he and another female friend (girl 2) ended up going back to the friend's (girl 2) house. He was supposedly taking care of both of them since they were both drunk. He put this girl on the matrass and put a bucket next to her for her to puke, which at that moment, she has already stopped. Anyway, so girl 2 went to her driving license classes so she had to leave my boyfriend and girl 1 alone. My boyfriend sent me a message to tell me what was going on and that he is scared to leave girl 1 alone because she might choke on her puke and no one is there to look after her. I said, sure, he could stay to look after this girl. He said he will only stay for one hour. After that, I didn't hear from him again for two and a half hours. His excuse? He dozed off. Which, sure, I can understand since he has also been drinking and might have been tired. I was fuming. He and this girl are already pretty friendly and I would like to think that they have a healthy classmate friendship but beyond that, I don't really know the true "extent" of his friendship with her. I was pissed off because he volunteered to stay with this girl, didn't reply for 2,5 hours and just hate having to just rely on my trust in this situation.

Please give me your opinions and advice on this situation because I dont know whether I was overreacting or completely in my right to have been pissed the hell off.

Thanks! :)

You overreacted, he was just taking care of a horribly drunk friend

You are in your right to be pissed, why the hell didn't he reply?

I have no opinion, it has to happen to me for me to know how I feel.

[Stacyzee]

Your boyfriend has good intentions.
However, he should not put himself in that predicament again.
He now knows how this woman gets when she is intoxicated.
He shouldn't hang out with her.
He's not there to baby sit a grown woman.
If she's going to get drunk, she needs to do so in the right company or suffer the consequences of her own choices (as horrible as that seems).
The naïve part of me says to believe your boyfriend.
TRUST in him.
If he has given you no reason to believe he desires this girl, then you shouldn't question it.
However, the practical part tells me.
That it is odd that he waited a while before contacting you and his excuse is that he fell asleep.

You have no real way of knowing what really happened.
If you trust him, take his word for it.
You may be pissed off... and are entitled to your feelings.
However, I would not waste time backtracking about this event that already took place.
I would tell him in future, that if she's going to get that intoxicated then he shouldn't hang out with her (in that setting).
This has to BOTHER him just as much as you for him to want to do this.
He has to have a talk with her about her behavior.
Does she even realize the danger she is putting herself in as a woman?

[Pickledpeaches]

Yes, this is exactly my reasoning. I mean, I trust HIM, I just don't know if I can trust the girl. I think she should definitely be more responsible and she shouldn't drink so much if she knows she can't handle it. I believe that you shouldn't be a burden on anyone and I just hate the fact that MY boyfriend has to get the babysitting duty. If it was the other way around, me taking care of a drunk guy and then didn't reply for 2 and a half hours, I wouldn't hear the end of it. Thank you for your insight, I really believe that you understand my point.

[AthleticMom]

Overreaction
now be a bit more critical of self - should have gone over there immediately and relieved him of this duty + judged if she should go to ER or not
still want to be mad? then phone up the roommate to critique HER leaving & thus your boyfriend stuck with this stinky prize at risk

Hereafter, it's A-OK to begin a campaign that makes boyfriend estranged from drunks like this, get him on board that this association with such types will drag you both down & away from prosperous goals like career, house, marriage

[LaurenGrace]

he didn't cheat on you if somone can back up how drunk she really was , id be so proud of him for being a true gentle man and looking after a friend a very very drunk female friend in need and would expect the same dedication when im that intoxicated

[Anpu23]

Hard to say. It might be completely innocent, then again... here's what's in his favor,
he let you know what was going on if he was planning on cheating he would have said something like I'm going to Bob's house to sleep this off I'll text you in the morning. She was way to drunk to do anything if what he's saying is true, a girl puking all over herself is not an attractive thing. Hardly a situation for romance. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Pickledpeaches]

Thank you. You really put this into perspective for me :) I guess I would have to trust him on this and definitely give him the benefit of the doubt. I will apologize for my overreaction. Thanks again :)

[Anpu23]

No problem thanks for MHO

[somuchcooleronline]

Dude why werent you at this party with him if you guys have been together a year and you are his gf? I would assume that if me or my boyfriend fot invited to a party for a friend especially a big party that it is assumed that my boyfriend is invited.

[WhiteSteve]

Only one way to know for sure...

https://youtu.be/lgWgEoaAYDY

I kid, I kid... sounds pretty legit to me, you just have to trust him, if he's done nothing in the past to lose the benefit of the doubt.

[Pickledpeaches]

Hahaha thank you for this, made me laugh more than I think it would :p

[WhiteSteve]

If this isn't in your music collection by the end of the day, you are officially "doing it wrong." I even have a remix over the "Hypnotized" instrumental by Akon😝

[hellionthesage]

He asked permision from you, and you gave it. He obviously wanted you to know what was happening and by extention let you know that if you were not comfortable with it that he would leave. I think if anything this should make you feel better not worse.

[Anonymous]

To me that's a no no. Wether someone is sick or not its not his responsibility. Go with your instinct on this one. I would probably be thinking that if he was there alone with the girl, u dont know for sure if she was really that sick or not... he couldve went there fucked her and that's why he didn't respond for 2 and a balf hours.

[Mr_Ant]

I just think there is no legit excuse for him not replying to you for over two hours. I cannot say he cheated on you but him saying he fell asleep while supposedly watching his sick friend does not ring true to me. I would have kept busy playing Scrabble or watching some action movie or something with headphones on to keep myself from falling to sleep and would have definitely called or texted you after an hour or responded to you. The fact that you posted to this forum lets me know you suspect him of cheating. I would not ditch him but I would let him know that is a strike, with three strikes meaning he is out. Life is too short to be with someone who is doing stuff that undermines your trust in them. No more drunk friend girl watching for him, at the very least.

[madhatters4]

i think the fact that he told you what he was doing should assuage you of concern. if he was simply going to cheat or something he would've said he's going to a friend's house (male friend) rather than even suggest that he was at a girl's house

I've been in his situation and the fact is that what kind of friend would you be if you just left a friend who was in that condition?

[mrhopeless20]

If something were to possibly happen with them, I really doubt that he would have let you know that he was with them. And as far as not replying, I'd wouldn't doubt that he passed out, I know anytime that I drink I get really tired. I'm just surprised he wasn't out for longer than 2.5 hours. It sounds like you have a truly great guy, you're pretty lucky

[OnionsNstuff]

"I can understand since he has also been drinking and might have been tired. I was fuming"

i think you need to make your mind up lol. which is it? either you understand that he fell asleep (which does sound very likely) or you dont which causes you to get angry.

[Pickledpeaches]

I understand your point completely. I just thought that maybe he should've waited to fall asleep at his own house. But oh well, I think I was just a tad bit insecure.

[OnionsNstuff]

I imagine he didn't intend to fall asleep at all. It would appear he didn't get much of a choice in the matter.

[Pickledpeaches]

I think you're definitely right. I will apologize for being overly dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Your mad because he didn't reply for a couple hours? I thought this ended in high school. If you can't trust a guy enough to be gone for at least a week by himself without interruptions then you shouldn't have one. I always trust my man, but that's cause I know if he ever cheats he's done. Like done done.

[AdoringFan]

He was just being a good friend, I think you overreacted.

[Firestone]

Wow... am stuck in the middle on this, I don't know what to write. In the end you should just forgive him.

[Anonymous]

should have smelled him. if he smelled like a girl or like he washed, he did something

[AshBrown]

I think you are acting insecure.

[Floyd790]

You are over thinking it.

[Anonymous]

they will have a kid in 9 months