Boyfriend was drunk when he had sex with this girl?

[Anonymous]

First off, me & my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months. We are in 11th grade. He was at this party & got drunk and had sex with another girl from our high school. Before this happened, my friends told me that he checked her out at school but I didn't really know her. Anyway, His friends shot this video of him drinking and he WAS drunk so he isn't lying about being drunk but the question is, did he not know what he was doing AT ALL? Like does being drunk really made him forget he was having sex with some other girl?

Yes. Being drunk made him not know what he was doing

No. Being drunk does not make someone not know they're having sex with someone else.

[BlueFire876]

When you are drunk the first thing that is impaired is your judgement, then your senses get all blurred. Sometimes you don't remember what happened when you are sober.

The alcohol most certainly had something to do with it. Bad things happen when large amounts of alcohol are involved.

However, I still voted B, because alcohol doesn't make someone not realize that they are having sex, it just impairs their judgement about it. He was impaired and therefore unable to think about potential consequences.

All in all though, HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS. Alcoholics or perhaps just some people who drink alcohol are notorious for making up excuses for themselves in order to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them or to not hold them accountable for what they did while they were drunk.

Especially look out for this guy saying stuff like "I have to drink because..." or "I can't keep my promise to you because blah blah blah..." or "if only such and such were different in my life, I could blah and I wouldn't have to drink so much," or "blah is the reason I have to drink."

So basically excuses in which he is manipulating you so that he doesn't have to answer to something.

Remember, never excuse someone for something they did that was clearly wrong because they were drunk and never do something for an alcoholic that they could do themselves if they were sober.

It can be hard sometimes because you are afraid that you are betraying them and indeed they may want you to think this, but you are ALWAYS doing the right thing by holding this kind of behavior unacceptable.

He is every bit as responsible for it as he would have been even if he had not been drunk.

[BlueFire876]

www.helpguide.org/.../...ism-and-alcohol-abuse.htm

there is a blue box at the bottom on what not to do.

good luck :-)

[dolphiny]

if he was blacked out or realllly drunk, he probably didn't realize what he was doing and who he was doing it with. it's still shitty and not exactly an excuse.

[hypno-trip]

I do a lot of stupid things when I'm drunk I'd be more forgiving of him. He's only 17 too so he's probably not experienced with controlling his alcohol intake yet.

But it's still not right of him to cheat on you so I'd say be angry at him but give him a second chance..

[BlueFire876]

no, if you give him another chance, he will abuse it... it is alcohol

[hypno-trip]

How do you know he will abuse it? Do you know him personally?

[BlueFire876]

i know he drinks and that he has tried to cover up how he had sex with another girl with the excuse "I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing."

when you give a drinker (could be guy or girl) another chance, it is like saying that it is okay to drink because you won't get blamed for or be held accountable for anything you do while you are drunk

[hypno-trip]

What he did was wrong and the alcohol doesn't excuse it but I still think you should be more forgiving of him. He's young and this seems like an accident.

[hypno-trip]

@BlueFire876 just cause you got drunk once doesn't mean you're a chronic alcoholic. Maybe he learned his lesson and will stay away from alcohol. Only the Asker can tell us since we don't know him.

[Anonymous]

If anyone says that he knew what he was doing, then they can't scream rape if they were drunk and had sex with someone even if they claim they didn't know about it. He didn't know what he was doing, forgive him.

[BlueFire876]

yes he did. he knew he was having sex but alcohol impairs your judgement

[Opinion Owner]

yeah and his judgement made him do something he wouldn't do sober so I would forgive him @BlueFire876

[BlueFire876]

forgive him and you will just reinforce the behavior

[Opinion Owner]

@BlueFire876 what? how? he apologized didn't he? Why would he come back if he didn't regret it?

[emerald77]

Not an excuse. Dump his sorry ass!