Help. I don't think I trust my boyfriend when he's drunk?

[sfloyd16]

Okay so, I've dated party boys before and I always ended up getting hurt in the end. My boyfriend used to be a big partier back in high school before we ever dated. But now I'd say he's settled down quite a bit. We basically spend all our time together when were not at school or work and usually about every weekend.

So we'll just get drunk together and both of us usually end up getting really drunk. Like passing out in the bed (after amazing sex I might add lol). So I know how he is, I know how he gets when he's drunk. So that's what worries me about him going to a friends house and drinking.

Like last night he went over to his friends house and he said that he had like 9 beers left and he was going to drink them, drive the two minutes to his house, and go to sleep then get up for work blah blah blah.

But the thing is, he's the type of person who if you handed him a bottle of whiskey during the night saying "take a shot", he would. Which would get him wasted eventually. He says he knows his limits and how to control himself, and I tell him that I know how he gets when has had a few too many and he says that it's different bc that's only when he's just with me.

That's the main thing that worries me about him drinking with his friends. I don't think he'd get wasted and then find a girl to have sex with. But if he's wasted and a girl tries something on him, how will he know to say no? If you're really drunk you don't know what you're doing and I'm afraid of him getting to that point if I'm not around

[ironeddie]

Inhibitions are greatly reduced when drinking. If you are really worried about him not being able to "know to say no". Chances are he won't say no. My opinion is that unless he stops drinking. There is a possibility of something happening down the road. Where there is smoke. There's fire.

Another thing. Just from the way your question is worded and the information presented. I feel that he/you may have something a lot more serious (than cheating) to deal with down the road. Unless some lifestyle changes are made. But then I'm only basing this on your detailed text.

[sfloyd16]

I'm not saying I think him, specifically, wouldn't know how to say no. I don't think anybody who was really drunk would know how to say no.

[ironeddie]

It all depends on the person and how the alcohol affects them. Some would say no, a lot would say yes. Some might get angry and or violent. Others may laugh and try to work their way out of it by joking. Others would be all over the "invitation". But have had one to many and can't get it up.

[sfloyd16]

I honestly believe he is a really good guy. He has really given up a lot for me, like his old ways. He used to be attached by the hip to his friends and now he sees them maybe once a week or every two weeks. And it's not because I say he can't and try to be controlling, he chooses to.

I've also told him before that I do not want him to get too drunk bc something might happen and he always says he knows his limits, he had self control and he knows how to say no

I just know he can go overboard sometimes. So I really hope that when he says the way he drinks with me is different than when he's somewhere else without me.

[Invoker]

How about both of you don't drink if you think it's toxic towards the relationship? And if both of you value that, both of you will make efforts to work on it until you can revisit the idea of alcohol in your lives later on.

[crazyincalifornia]

What was the first sentence?
I lost track

[reptocarl]

You either trust him or you don't. Alcohol causes a loss of morals the drunker we get. The only sure fire way to keep up with him would be for him to stop drinking but he won't do that. You have a dilema

[Dylann]

Haha party boy thinks he's something maybe he should grow up a little and realise what he's got before it's gone