Always taking care of my drunk friend?

[Anonymous]

When my friend drinks too much, she starts to get very emotional and cry and sometimes gets very hysterical. I always end up taking care of her because I don't want to leave her alone. I know if I were in her position or ever in need, I would not want to be left alone. She gets like this because of her past. Her other friend and my friend never help to take care. of her, they always just care about having fun with others. Is it my fault for always taking care of her? Is this the reason. Why my other friends don't stick a to and to help? When I talk to my friend about drinking too much she says she's fine. How to go about talking about her issues I. Her past and drinking too much? sorry I'd this seems too much like a rant.

[A-guy---I-suppose]

Sometimes the only way to help people is by letting them sink low enough to realise that they're the problem. Obviously I don't know for sure, but it sounds like your friend is drinking to cope with her past, but not realising that alcohol is making her inner emotions show. Some people simply cannot handle their drink.
It'll be hard, but I would treat her like a child. She's an adult who has chosen to get drunk, fair play. You're also an adult who want to drink and have a good time. Both of you drink, you're fine but she gets emotional, tell her she's had too much to drink and is ruining your night. She'll probably not like that and won't listen, so you carry on having fun and ignoring her, but also keep an eye on her in case she does something stupid.
If you don't tackle the problem it won't stop. If you do this then eventually she'll realise that nobody wants to hear her, so she'll most likely stop moaning and join in with everybody else, or she'll stop drinking altogether. Drunk people and alcoholics are rather simple by nature.

[Asker]

Thank you. I will talk to her and let her know how I feel of her being drunk, even if it might ruin our friendship...

[chrisbigman]

She's obviously not fine when you tell her about her binge drinking. That means you need to get her help. You need to tell her she's not fine and remind her why. Tell her that you are willing to help her and lend a shoulder to cry on, but the more she keeps doing this, the more she needs professional psychiatric help. She needs to get to the root of her drinking problem, whatever that may be.

[Asker]

Thank you. I plan on talking to her about it.

[Stacyzee]

You're being a great friend.
But there comes a time when someone gets tired of having to baby sit another grown woman.

She needs to understand this isn't fear to you at all.

I would tell her as much as i love her, if she doesn't ease down her drinking, I am not hanging out with her any more.
How much fun could you possibly have? When you have to constantly pick up the pieces and attempt to put them back together?

You'll never get them together , although at times it may feel like it.
She is broken and is the only one that can fix herself.
All you can do is be there and offer her support.
There will come a time when being her friend is too mentally and physically exhausting.
It will become more of a duty than a friendship at some point.

[Stacyzee]

*fair instead of fear

[Asker]

You are right and I don't it to end up being a duty for me to care for her. It just felt like a duty of being her friend that I should take care of her... Best thing is to try to help her stop drinking so much!

[proudtexasgirl]

Definitely not a rant. I had a friend like this. She drank so much and so often, and anytime I tried to talk to her about the drinking, she would blow it off or get mad at me. I ended up having to break off the friendship.
Maybe you can try sitting down alone with your friend (sober) and talking to her about whatever it is in her past that's upsetting her. Handling her emotions with alcohol isn't healthy, and she needs to figure out how to get past it. She needs help, and you're a great friend for trying. If you can't get through to her, does she have an older sibling or a parent that you can talk to? There's only so much you can do if she's not willing to help herself.

[Asker]

Thank you! The problem is, her family is messed up as well, they also drink too much and we live far away from our parents. I guess I'll try to give her as much support as I can.

[Alicietta]

Yeah it sounds like drinking isn't a good idea for her 😡 perhaps ask her why she continues to do it since it sounds like she just has a really miserable time? I know it's hard but you have to tell her how you feel about it and if she doesn't stop then you will have to just stop taking care of her... Warn her that you are fed up. She's not a child and should not need babysitting all the time.

[LittleSally]

Sounds something like Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist...
Her future is going to be in AA unless you (all of the people who truly care about her) do an intervention and REALLY make her see she HAS a problem.
It's not on you, or on anyone really... it's on her, but it would help her so much if you'd point her in the right direction.

[arashmenalagha]

Dear Good friend,

If You were ever in vulnerable state I wold take care of you too.

~Abraham Lincoln