My friends with benefits left me for another girl and I’m heartbroken how do I help myself?

[Anonymous]

I was friends with benefits for this guy for a year. We spoken everyday so maybe I was taking it more seriously than it was. After 11 months he started acting really off, ignoring me, never ever asking to see me, it was always me asking him. I just formed a emotional connection with him after sex. I got drunk yesterday and just called him saying how I felt because it was starting to affect me really badly mentally like I’d cry everytime he didn’t reply.

He said to me he never wanted me he just wanted the sex and now he’s saying he’s trying to work things out with his ex and that I was just a placeholder there while they were working things out. He told me he’d seee me on Tuesday to talk about things and have a deep conversation but I don’t know if to do that? I’m just so upset I really cared about him I even bought him a PlayStation and did everything and I’m just here. He’s 29 and I’m 20 and I’m just heartbroken. Will he ever want anything serious

[melnc]

There is nothing you can do but cut off all contact between you two because if you don't, he'll do it for you, and I mean by that ghosting you. At the end of the day, friends with benefits relationships are about sex. For a lot of people, friends with benefits relationships are a great way to scratch a sexual itch without having to commit the time or emotional investment into a full blown relationship. It's not your fault, it just happened. As for meeting him to talk about it, I don't see any reason to meet him. In fact, there is nothing to talk about other than some excuses or he might ghost you... who knows. Instead of going to meet him, do something positive that makes you feel better like helping someone down the road or meeting a friend you haven't seen in a while. You have to be emotionally mature to accept what happened. As long as you're fine, let the days go by, maybe something good is waiting for you 🔆

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You should never, ever enter a relationaship thinking that it is friends with benefits. SOME people are capable of having sex without getting attached but you are not one of those people.

2. If you want a relationship with attachment and commitment, be hinest with yourself and with prospective partners. You will have far fewer bruises along the way.

3. Your ex-fwb was JUST FUCKING YOU. He didn't love you. He enjoyed your pussy while his girlfriend wasn't available. Now that she's back on the scene, you have NO meaning to him. Maybe it seems like I am being harsh with you but this does not seem to have really sunk in yet. You have him your heart, and all he gave you was his dick.

4. If he was honest with you about his intentions, then this is not his fault, is it? If you want to get angry at someone, get angry at yourself. You set yourself up for this.

[chrissykerdock]

my friends with benefits broke up with because i wasn't doing enough hardcore things for him... at 1st i thought i'm not going to do those things... then after awhile i thought i better do those things for him or face being alone... so i know it can hurt very badly.

[FilmGuy93]

Oof! I'm so sorry you're going through this, that really sucks. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens a lot when men in their late twenties link up with women in their mid to early twenties. Those men just don't date young women with the intention of having anything serious, because the life experiences are just too different.

All you can really do is learn from this experience and try to date someone closer to your own age. friends with benefits means "replaceable."

[maximumpower]

But.. he was just an SWB... right?
Sounds like oxytocin isn't your friend and you were hoping for something more.
If you're so inclinde, find another SWB; HOWEVER, bear in mind that oxytocin will rear its ugly head again.
If your having trouble handling the first loss, be forewarned that its going to happen again.

[Anonymous]

hahahahahahahahaha