My friends with benefits won't stop texting me?

[Anonymous]

he kissed another girl while he was drunk and doesn't rememeber a thing. i haven't asked any questions but I've sent "essays" saying how he doesn't care about me and that im done and too tired to care anymore. i told him i had nothing left to say to him and i didn't know if i wanted to see him anymore. he stopped texting me for a day. but then he starts texting me again like nothing is wrong. i never text him first now and my replies are cold. when i asked him why is he still texting me he said he is stubborn and doesn't want me to be pissed off. what the hell does he want?

i just went overseas so he won't be able to see me, and i didn't even see him before i left. he got me a Christmas present but i didn't want to see him or accept anything from him, but i left him a surprise gift at his door. he said he would keep my gift for when i came back. which is a couple of months from now.

[Tdieseler]

I believe the term was friends with benefits ... he is not in a romantic relationship with you hereby he has free jurisdiction over any actions that are OUTSIDE the bedroom. You getting mad at him shows that even if you knew it wasn't an official relationship, you still treat it like one. In an friends with benefits relationship, one is allowed to flirt or kiss, just nothing past that because that is YOUR jurisdiction. It seems like you like this guy and are just enjoying him under the guise of an friends with benefits relationship. you can either pull yourself together and know you aren't in some official relationship and have no right to be mad, or just finish the circle by telling him you want it to be official.

[Tdieseler]

seems like he had feelings too...

[Asker]

if he refuses to admit it, i refuse to feel it. i dont like him to the point i want to be in relationship with him, im just starting to care about him. if we are on different pages now there's no point to continue to see where it can go. i know i will eventually like him and expect the same vice versa. dont want to set myself up for more disappointments.

[Tdieseler]

thats a good way of thinking. but you forget, he keeps texting/contacting you. there's something there, he likes you more than friends with benefits obviously, and is feeling remorseful. your chance to let him know you want to upgrade to a committed relationship. Once you establish that, i highly doubt history will repeat itself. He has already admitted his feelings by constantly reaching out.. any other friends with benefits would have just accepted it and moved on. Its up to you to clarify things.

[Asker]

update. i was ignoring him and he randomly sent a message to say we should end this kind of relationship and start fresh as friends when i come back. because he feels like he's unintentionally hurting me.

[Tdieseler]

so was i right? or was i right?

[Asker]

right about what?

[Asker]

sounds to me like he doesn't have feelings and just wants to be friends

[Tdieseler]

yea... to you. he's just backing up because you are acting up. you want more but won't say so and thereby confusing him, so he's hitting the reset button. friends.

[Asker]

reset implies, its probably going to end up with the same result, friends with benefits again. or more. i have the feeling this is the full stop button. he's thinking "this girl likes me, but i dont like her in that way, so i should probably stop being selfish and stop."

[Tdieseler]

The right choice is to flow, see where it goes with the friends thing. rather than be cold. thats what the reset button was pushed for. you get to restart, maybe this time you can actually control how things work out. This all started because he kissed another girl... i don't know if you have been cheated on, but even if i was committed and i heard my S. O kissed someone else, wouldn't care, not to talk of an friends with benefits . This is too much drama over a simple act. just take the Reset.

[Tdieseler]

why does GaG keep switching friends with benefits to Friends With Benefits... ugh

[Tdieseler]

i give up.

[Asker]

haha, thank you

[Tdieseler]

I know that "thank you"... it means, "I hear what you have said, but i am not necessarily going to listen to it"
Its your choice. Check my profile, If you don't listen, you will be back. And I won't be so nice next time.
two people playing mind games is never a good thing to try to decipher, but one person blatantly refusing to admit SHE is playing a mind game grinds my gears.

[Asker]

he texted again, and i took your advice, i was direct and asked what do you want? he said to be clear, and to be friends. so there you go, no feelings. its been cleared up.

[Tdieseler]

can't ever beat direct lol... put a person in a yes or no situation, no matter what is said, you still get an answer... well unless you are me, :) then you can worm your way out lol
so whats the plan? friends only now?

[Asker]

well i was honest and told him i dont see us being friends because we really haven't known each other that long. and i dont want anything from him.

[Tdieseler]

Well it was fun while it lasted. Glad you made up your mind.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I think he is literally just stubborn as shit. ignore him at this point. solid cold ignore him.

[Asker]

ahhh ignoring someone is so mean and immature. i dont want to be like that.

[BertMacklinFBI]

what else do you think will get him to stop then? you already made it clear you don't want contact right? yet he persists.

[Tdieseler]

why?

[BertMacklinFBI]

@Tdieseler me or her? hahaa

[Asker]

maybe if i send another polite message telling him to leave me alone?

[BertMacklinFBI]

@Asker honestly its not a bad way to go. try 1 more time. if he still persists then consider it harassment at that point.

[Tdieseler]

yea... problem with that Bert... she does like him, she's just working off of betrayal... and im trying to explain that it was an friends with benefits relationship.

[BertMacklinFBI]

@Tdieseler "betrayal can never be forgiven!" - a lot of dark movies. lol :D its up to her, if she likes him she can stick around. im confident she will do whats right for her.

[Tdieseler]

... thats what im not confident about...

[Asker]

@tdieseler then whats right for me? iyo

[Tdieseler]

umm.. go up a little... you'll see it lol

[ellie2017]

Lol, you’re a silly girl. Men don’t react to “essays” the react to no contact. You sooner you realize he’s just using you for one thing, and one thing only the better for your own self worth. He’s using you. That’s it. Whether you send him a message telling him “how much you’re” over him”
It’s just giving the guy attention. And he can see that if you were actually indifferent you wouldn’t be texting him back, and you most certainly wouldn’t be online asking people their thought. But you do you, and keep responding because ignore is “mean” 😂😂

[playdatesx]

Okay, I read the first few sentences first without continuing. It's a friends with benefits, he isn't supposed to care unless you made it clear that you two are exclusive and he knows it.

Continuing reading, god dammit you two, it's a friends with benefits. It's not a relationship. You're not supposed to have feelings or be emotionally attached. The only valid reason for his stubbornness would be because he wants your pussy too much, LOL. But either way, it's a friends with benefits and you two both should just be like "don't feel like fucking anymore, good bye" and that should be it.

[Tdieseler]

tell her honey...

[Hajar_Whitestone]

@Tdieseler Said everything I was planing to say so no need to copy post :P

[Tdieseler]

Hey!!! long time no see...

[Hajar_Whitestone]

@Tdieseler where have you being == no PM nothing huh =_=

[Tdieseler]

Website. You know that. i was basically panicking last we talked. did you find your earphones?

[Hajar_Whitestone]

@Tdieseler yeah right ==

yes i find them

[Tdieseler]

wana talk now?

[Hajar_Whitestone]

no == soorry

[Tdieseler]

kool... later then...

[Hajar_Whitestone]

Just no mood :( @Tdieseler

[Tdieseler]

thats cool...